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RE: my apologies - 3/11/2008 11:17:58 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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By the gods, good to see you again me ol' china.

Ron

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RE: my apologies - 3/11/2008 11:20:30 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

China - China Plate - Plate Rhymes with Mate

China equals Mate

God I loved Terrance Stamp in that Movie.

Steel

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Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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RE: my apologies - 3/11/2008 11:37:52 AM

slvebtchdeCarlos

Posts: 108
Joined: 2/23/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

A quote from the film "Dragon": It is better to ask forgiveness after than to ask permission... However making an appology for something which may have breached some rule or other or caused some form of hurt and is the apollogy is genuinly sincere is a mark of good manners and etequette and shows good breeding. An unsincere appology is a gross insult. This is true in my worls and circle of friends, family and society anyway.

IB

A quote from Maestro Carlos: BDSM means never having to say you're sorry.

And there are some things that "I'm sorry" just doesn't fix.

Personally, hearing a man apologize all the time rubs me the wrong way. But that's just me. i go for the "You didn't like that? Get over it, bitch." approach.

~slavebitch de Carlos

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loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~Lao Tsu

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Post #: 43

RE: my apologies - 3/11/2008 11:45:30 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

By the gods, good to see you again me ol' china.

Ron

Thanks mate I was time to return I believe.. So we brush the cobwebs of the BBQ, take the casting net out and hunt for prawns and place a carton of Fosters on ice, call up the slave girls and party

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage

My Life for my Queen
My Soul for my Goddess
My Heart for my Lady
And my Honor for myself

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

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Post #: 44

RE: my apologies - 3/11/2008 11:52:02 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slvebtchdeCarlos

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

A quote from the film "Dragon": It is better to ask forgiveness after than to ask permission... However making an appology for something which may have breached some rule or other or caused some form of hurt and is the apollogy is genuinly sincere is a mark of good manners and etequette and shows good breeding. An unsincere appology is a gross insult. This is true in my worls and circle of friends, family and society anyway.

IB

A quote from Maestro Carlos: BDSM means never having to say you're sorry.

And there are some things that "I'm sorry" just doesn't fix.

Personally, hearing a man apologize all the time rubs me the wrong way. But that's just me. i go for the "You didn't like that? Get over it, bitch." approach.

~slavebitch de Carlos

Within the M/s relationship I tend to agree with one exception. If a slave makes a mistake and it is due to my teaching or instructions then that is my responsibility for not \ensuring that she understood what was requirted or that she was unable to complete thre task for any number of reasons and in that case, I firmly believ than it is only right to advise her that the error was mine and then to correct it immediatly. I have found over the years that taking such actions increases both credability and trust for it is unwise to atte,mpt to appear infallible. This has applied to when i have been commanding troops as well.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage

My Life for my Queen
My Soul for my Goddess
My Heart for my Lady
And my Honor for myself

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

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Post #: 45

RE: my apologies - 3/11/2008 5:08:55 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
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Personally, after hearing a lifetime of apologies followed shortly by the same behavior previously apologized for, only to be apologized for once more, I'm more in the camp of "Don't apologize to me! Let's talk this out till we reach some sort of agreement as to how the future will go and move on." I'd rather have the action than the words. And I don't care all that much for the purging benefits to the person who is apologizing.

Certainly, if I do something accidentally (bump a head, spill the coffee), I'll apologize. And I'll be sincere in my apology. However, the bigger things, the make it or break it things, I tend to look for something more. There has to be a reason that he or I engaged in those activities and I'd rather address those reasons than simply that he or I got hurt by them. For example, if I disobey a rule of his - make it a hard fast rule - then "I'm sorry" isn't going to cut it. We're going to have a conversation about what I want out of this relationship, why I felt the need to do what I did (and "I just wasn't thinking" isn't an excuse for us), and what problems are we experiencing that led to this decision.

If we can reach an understanding of what happened and why, as well as what the expectations are for future behavior, then the subject is dropped. There are no apologies given or expected. Like Cuba Gooding to Tom Cruise... "show me the money." In other words, don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Be active. Do what you said you're going to do - or don't do what you said you won't. I'm good with that.

Beyond that, any guilt we might feel with regards to our actions are ours to deal with.

He holds himself to the same standard.

juliet

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Post #: 46

RE: my apologies - 3/11/2008 5:38:04 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
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I've been thinking about this off and on over the past few days. There are times when it feels like the world is caving in and while he holds me all I can so is say 'I'm sorry' I'm sorry' over and over again while I cry. It isn't about any one thing in particular, more of a buildup of emotion.I grew up in a family where we did not actually say 'sorry', I grew up feeling an awful lot of guilt for an awful lot of things but I had to keep that in. Things like other people being embarrassed or unhappy affected me and I would feel so guilty that I couldn't change things. Even movies or books would do that. It seems looking back that I spent so much time in other peoples shoes that I rarely wore my own. Hungry kids, war, divorce (my parents never divorced btw nor fought in front of me) different types of art or music that hit me, all of that would bring me to the edge of tears and confuse me with their strength of emotion. Crying just wasn't done and especially not for weird things like other peoples hurt so it would build and build.It still does, I worry about people I don't even know. It is also a part of why it is so very important to me that people don't fight, that everyone 'play nice'. It kind of hurts when they don't. There is a huge need inside for things to be balanced. To make sure that no one is unhappy if there is anything at all I can do. Oy vey this is one of those threads that causes a wee bit o self revelation heh. I am so glad my owner is patient! Being able to cry and say 'sorry' over and over is a catharsis for me and I'm lucky that he has understood that from the start.

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Post #: 47

RE: my apologies - 3/11/2008 5:57:32 PM

SinergyNstrumpet

Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
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It is very nice to see you posting again IronBear

juliaoceania aka Daddy's strumpet

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Post #: 48