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How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 6:09:55 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		So I have been told by my Sir that he is loyal but slow in the development of his felings of love. We have a romantic relationship thats passionate and honest. we communicate well. its all good.  we have been seeing each other, bf/gf and Dom/sub for about 4 months. typical seeing each other twice a week, and some weekends together. me having a key to his place and all that typical stuff that happens with relationships. He says that women tend to get emotional quicker than men. Maybe most men,perhaps not all? His attitude toward the slow development of feelings has kept my feet firmly planted on the ground. analyzing breaking it down, not allowing myself to mistake passion for love. however, he has done some touching things that he says he would do for any close friend he cares about, but I find completely touching. So much so that it has had me feeling more for him emotionally.
So i guess i have a couple of questions for you manly men- strong Masters. One, have you said a gesture was no big deal, when in actuality looking back on it it really was a gesture of love? Two, as a man how did you know that you were in love with a women that you were seeing? Vanilla girfriend or sub? What were defining moments for you?

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative
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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 6:30:49 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

So i guess i have a couple of questions for you manly men- strong Masters.


You rang?

quote:

One, have you said a gesture was no big deal, when in actuality looking back on it it really was a gesture of love?


Yes. And I knew it mattered more than I said it did, at the time.

quote:

Two, as a man how did you know that you were in love with a women that you were seeing? Vanilla girfriend or sub? What were defining moments for you?



When I realized I hated not being around her; that when I saw her, I would smile, no matter how fucked up I was feeling; and when these feelings didn't leave, after fights and after years passed by.

< Message edited by Level -- 3/9/2008 6:31:44 PM >

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 6:37:28 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

So i guess i have a couple of questions for you manly men- strong Masters.


You rang?

quote:

One, have you said a gesture was no big deal, when in actuality looking back on it it really was a gesture of love?


Yes. And I knew it mattered more than I said it did, at the time.

quote:

Two, as a man how did you know that you were in love with a women that you were seeing? Vanilla girfriend or sub? What were defining moments for you?



When I realized I hated not being around her; that when I saw her, I would smile, no matter how fucked up I was feeling; and when these feelings didn't leave, after fights and after years passed by.


Thank you for your answers. I am not sure if I am making more out of things or he is downplaying his feelings. i appreciate his attempts to make me know ahead of time that he is slow in developing feelings and he doesnt want me to get hurt. I appreciate his slowness in defining. But how do I know the difference between a man who is good to everyone and me being special. He is an IT specialist. He spent weeks repairing my messed up ibook and recovering files. Countless hours that he admitted he would never do it for any amount of money for a stranger. But he said he would do it for any close friend. I saw this as such a touching act. I know I am more than just anyone to him. But he does downplay. How would you take these acts from a man?

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Level)
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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 6:39:12 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Women who have insight into men and their feelings please comment too.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 6:40:10 PM   
Griswold


Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		That's an easy question to answer....

I'll know I'm in love after about 3 of my attorneys have spent around 5 hours each with the girl of my dreams and taken signatures from her on at least 30 or 40 documents.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 6:43:23 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Thank you for your answers. I am not sure if I am making more out of things or he is downplaying his feelings. i appreciate his attempts to make me know ahead of time that he is slow in developing feelings and he doesnt want me to get hurt. I appreciate his slowness in defining. But how do I know the difference between a man who is good to everyone and me being special. He is an IT specialist. He spent weeks repairing my messed up ibook and recovering files. Countless hours that he admitted he would never do it for any amount of money for a stranger. But he said he would do it for any close friend. I saw this as such a touching act. I know I am more than just anyone to him. But he does downplay. How would you take these acts from a man?


As long as he didn't put his hand on my leg, we'd be okay.
 
Teasing aside.... it sounds like he has feelings for you. How strong, I have no way of knowing. But I will tell you this; take him at his word. If he says he does not love you, accept that. It may change, it may take time. Enjoy your time with him, and if you love him, then do so, without the condition that he love you back.
 
Don't know how much sense any of that made....

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 6:43:50 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		I'm a very emotional person, and I'd definitely take these things he's done for you as a sign of affection on his part.  He's done a ton of work for you in the past couple of weeks, and he knows how important it is to you.  He wouldn't do it for just anyone.  He obviously enjoys you to a large extent and enjoys your relationship.  As far as it being love - that I don't know, but I do know that if I were feeling love for him, I'd take these signs as encouraging. 

Good for him, BTW, for letting you know in advance that he's slow to acknowledge/discover his feelings - this sort of honesty is a sign of very good character. He sounds cautious and considerate with his emotions, and of yours.   

I know you asked for advice from Doms ... hope it was ok that I put in my .02 cents! 

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 6:52:40 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I'm kind of fuzzy on what you're trying to do with this. Are you trying to find out if he really does love you, based on what other people think of his actions? Would it really make a difference? Would knowing he LOVES you, versus being quite FOND of you, change anything??

Based on this thread and on your comment on another one, I think you're overthinking things. Just enjoy it and when he's ready to tell you something about his feelings, he will.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Bound2One)
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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 6:57:18 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Thank you for your answers. I am not sure if I am making more out of things or he is downplaying his feelings. i appreciate his attempts to make me know ahead of time that he is slow in developing feelings and he doesnt want me to get hurt. I appreciate his slowness in defining. But how do I know the difference between a man who is good to everyone and me being special. He is an IT specialist. He spent weeks repairing my messed up ibook and recovering files. Countless hours that he admitted he would never do it for any amount of money for a stranger. But he said he would do it for any close friend. I saw this as such a touching act. I know I am more than just anyone to him. But he does downplay. How would you take these acts from a man?


As long as he didn't put his hand on my leg, we'd be okay.
 
Teasing aside.... it sounds like he has feelings for you. How strong, I have no way of knowing. But I will tell you this; take him at his word. If he says he does not love you, accept that. It may change, it may take time. Enjoy your time with him, and if you love him, then do so, without the condition that he love you back.
 
Don't know how much sense any of that made....


Because he is so slow and has got me viewing things differently, It has me operating in a different way too. I am being mature. I am trying to keep feet planted in reality and not go too quickly with my feelings. So, sometimes I question. What is love really? A feeling ? An act? I am not rushing headlong into infatuation and emotion of being in love with love. So although i have no problem with accepting that I can love someone with nothing in return, I can also appreciate holding my feelings back in order to be at pace with them a little more. or not defining it . I dont want to be begging or pressuring or wanting. What is love if not returned? What is love if someone is good to you and giving and kind and passionate and all those things that a man does when he is acting in an honorable  way and treating you like his woman ? It feels like he is doing things that a man does who loves but he says," not yet"?

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:00:48 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I'm kind of fuzzy on what you're trying to do with this. Are you trying to find out if he really does love you, based on what other people think of his actions? Would it really make a difference? Would knowing he LOVES you, versus being quite FOND of you, change anything??

Based on this thread and on your comment on another one, I think you're overthinking things. Just enjoy it and when he's ready to tell you something about his feelings, he will.

Cali



Oh Cali,
you are so logical and wise. I think i am so fucked up and dysfunctional. i guess I am not use to kindness. So acts of it are a sure sign of love? When someone does for me, I get so gooey cause i am just not use to unselfish people.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:06:03 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Luscious sweetie, c'mere.  WHAP WHAP WHAP.  <-- smacks luscious in the head.

It doesn't matter if his kindness means he loves you, it doesn't matter if his kindness means he is KIND to you, it doesn't MATTERRRRRRRR.  Now just shaddup and go give him a blowjob.  Sheesh.

And some people say that I overthink things.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:06:34 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Because he is so slow and has got me viewing things differently, It has me operating in a different way too. I am being mature. I am trying to keep feet planted in reality and not go too quickly with my feelings. So, sometimes I question.


All good things, I believe.

quote:

 I dont want to be begging or pressuring or wanting.


Again, good idea. If he's on the line, so to speak, that could push him away. Now, "wanting".... I don't know if you can avoid that. There were a couple of times I would have given much to not want my lady friend..... didn't work that way.

quote:

What is love if not returned? What is love if someone is good to you and giving and kind and passionate and all those things that a man does when he is acting in an honorable  way and treating you like his woman ? It feels like he is doing things that a man does who loves but he says," not yet"?


Love is what it is. And it is different for different people. It shows itself differently, and it takes it's time.
 
As you've indicated, he may just be a really sweet person, or he may have confusion towards you that he's trying to work out.


_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:09:02 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I get so gooey


Now, that would make a great sig line.

quote:

politecali wrote:

Now just shaddup and go give him a blowjob.


My dear, I don't know if there's a Dear Abby in KinkLand, but you may have just stole  her crown.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:10:04 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Luscious sweetie, c'mere.  WHAP WHAP WHAP.  <-- smacks luscious in the head.

It doesn't matter if his kindness means he loves you, it doesn't matter if his kindness means he is KIND to you, it doesn't MATTERRRRRRRR.  Now just shaddup and go give him a blowjob.  Sheesh.

And some people say that I overthink things.


Cali



Thanks Cali, *SIGH*, I needed that. I get so confused sometimes by sweetness and kindness. But you are so right!

Well, I was with him last night and i did give him a great one! (by the way, thanks for all those deepthroat threads and links.turned me into a pro)


_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:13:42 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:


My dear, I don't know if there's a Dear Abby in KinkLand, but you may have just stole  her crown.


Great idea! time for a new thread!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:14:12 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I am deeply suspicious of love, and really paranoid that I will fall in love again with someone who doesn't give a rat's hairy patoot about me.   To answer Cali, to me, there is a world shaking difference between fondness and love, and fondness.......just doesn't cut it.   Why, when love is not the same as commitment, or loyalty, or respect, or any number of other useful things?  Just Because.

Are you happy?  If the answer is yes, then just run with it, and stop analyzing.  Whatever happens, you can't control another person's emotions.  You *can* but a rein on your own, or at least try.  I'm not suggesting that you should!  I simply speak as a person who turns to emotional mush at the wrong times.  :)

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:19:26 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I am deeply suspicious of love, and really paranoid that I will fall in love again with someone who doesn't give a rat's hairy patoot about me.   To answer Cali, to me, there is a world shaking difference between fondness and love, and fondness.......just doesn't cut it.   Why, when love is not the same as commitment, or loyalty, or respect, or any number of other useful things?  Just Because.

Are you happy?  If the answer is yes, then just run with it, and stop analyzing.  Whatever happens, you can't control another person's emotions.  You *can* but a rein on your own, or at least try.  I'm not suggesting that you should!  I simply speak as a person who turns to emotional mush at the wrong times.  :)


I guess I am lucky to be with someone that keeps me from turning to mush at the wrong times!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:20:30 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

politecali wrote:


My dear, I don't know if there's a Dear Abby in KinkLand, but you may have just stole  her crown.


LMAO Level.  Don't make me say it again (please).

Cali




_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:25:18 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

To answer Cali, to me, there is a world shaking difference between fondness and love, and fondness.......just doesn't cut it.  


Miss LadyH:  Oh, don't get me wrong, I agree with you there.  But for our dear Miss Luscious, things are going along splendidly, he is doing kind things for her, and she is overthinking it. He has told her that he goes slowly with love. I think if she dwells on it, she is just going to make herself unhappy, and if she pushes him for an answer, she is not going to get an answer that she wants.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How do you know when you are in love? - 3/9/2008 7:27:17 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

To answer Cali, to me, there is a world shaking difference between fondness and love, and fondness.......just doesn't cut it.  


Miss LadyH:  Oh, don't get me wrong, I agree with you there.  But for our dear Miss Luscious, things are going along splendidly, he is doing kind things for her, and she is overthinking it. He has told her that he goes slowly with love. I think if she dwells on it, she is just going to make herself unhappy, and if she pushes him for an answer, she is not going to get an answer that she wants.

Cali



I totally agree with you, Cali---that's why I advised the Happy Test!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 20
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