lally3
Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
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Now, I am generally the one starting the amusing conversation with the checkout person... and so identify with this story from that side. I don't think that any casual observer in an ordinary situation like that would risk thinking me a submissive character - quite the opposite.
ditto. i believe i am a confident person too and that is the impression i give to people. submissives cannot go through life submitting to all and sundry, we'd never get anywhere in life if we did that. to be honest, most of my confidence comes from the fact that i am wired the way i am.
But that is partly to do with social projection - a given set of traits being manifested to negotiate a given situation. And so, I know that I generally get friendlier service when I am calm, confident, and charming, when I make eye contact and smile quickly. I know that in the street, much the same applies: the world is a friendlier place if you approach it with bold amicability.
Add that to the facts that I read people like I do books, and that I do have... presence, I suppose, for want of anything else to call it, and you have what appears to be a dominant person.
i think it is in the strength of being who you are. and as ive read all over the place, subs are, on the whole, strong people. because we choose to submit that strength to one person does not make us push overs in our public lives. i know that all sorts of people in positions of authority and power find release through submission.
Now put me in a situation where I have no clue what I am doing, and, unless I am feeling energetic and intellectually engaged, it's quite possible that I will become hesitant, needy, or obtuse. Quite a difference.
And so what am I saying? well I'm not quite sure. I'm certainly not suggesting the "don't judge a book by it's cover" adage, but I'm trying to draw contextual considerations into your thoughts. I hope that you do not mind.
not atall, i dont mind one bit .
there are times when having to make a decision or be proactive about something is anathama to me. i flap about in a completely useless fashion and get nothing done as a result. but, i am a podiatrist with a private practice, a single parent runing a home and all that that implies. i 'spose, when im flying about looking effective i give people the impression of being in control. i rarely am, but i take your point, we project out different persona's in different situations to different people all of the time. mostly because we have to.
And what am I? goodness knows - I certainly dare not claim that I do. From experience, I would say that it all depends on who the observer is what they want or are trained to see in me. Some see a switch, others a naturally gifted dominant, others a a 'fluffy dom', others a submissive with an inflated ego. I could introduce you to four people who know me reasonably well, and each would give you a different one of those based on their experience of me and their experience of other people
because, and this is just a thought, as Doms and subs we are tuned in intuitively to the needs of others. if youre with a person who needs support and guidance and they turn to you, you give it. if youre with someone who likes to take the lead, choose the venue, then you let them.
noone is just one uniform person to everyone - we have personas to fit all possiblities.
i do realise that this man at the checkout could have been anything to anyone at any given time. but his energy was fascinating to me and as a sub i felt drawn to him. not meaning i wanted him to jump me or anything, just he had that quiet confidence that exudes dommliness. ill never know of course. but i do believe there is a bdsmdar, like there is, as mentioned here a gaydar.
lally
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RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition - 
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