Empaths and Instant Reecognition

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adrian28 -> Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/10/2008 8:03:16 PM)
This is new territory for me but, I've been told I'm empathic. It's true that I can comunicate with some people without a single wordbut, I always thought of this as my own instinctsand nothing more. Also, I've been wondering if it's possible for subs/slaves to recognize a dominant at a glance. I've had women make eye contact and look down involountarily, much to my own amusment. I'm just wondering in general about spiritualism. I promise I won't be too skeptical, lol.

SixFootMaster -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/10/2008 8:14:02 PM)
Empathic stems from empathy, and it isn't nearly as mystical as Deep Space Nine would have you believe. Most people are empathetic to some degree - in fact, a lack of empathy is often found in coincidence with psychopathy. You can look at it as a combination of instincts, body language, and emotional insight with perhaps a touch of metaphysical. Can subs recognise a dom on sight? I would depend on the dom. There are certain body postures, attitudes, tones of voice and the way people approach each other that are indicative but not conclusive of dominance or submission. In my experience though, people generally drop their eyes and possibly blush because they are shy and interested. This doesn't mean they've identified you as a dominant and that they themselves are submissive, but simply that they found you cute or attractive in some way. Be careful of projecting your own thoughts onto people, and then reading them back. Six.

adrian28 -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/10/2008 8:21:55 PM)
Very true, my ego might take a blow but, I get what you're sayin. My love has described me as " a sadistic teddy bear" lol.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/10/2008 9:15:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adrian28 This is new territory for me but, I've been told I'm empathic. It's true that I can comunicate with some people without a single wordbut, I always thought of this as my own instinctsand nothing more. Empathy tends to be specifically the ability to experience the feelings of another person as if they themselves were experiencing those feelings. A very different skill/trait from sympathy, esp, intuition, and all those other ways in which we "know" things about people which aren't generally knowable otherwise. quote: Also, I've been wondering if it's possible for subs/slaves to recognize a dominant at a glance. I've had women make eye contact and look down involountarily, much to my own amusment. I'm just wondering in general about spiritualism. I promise I won't be too skeptical, lol. Are you sure you didn't have something on your face that they didn't want to appear rude and stare at? Staring is considered rude generally in our culture and they may have wanted to avoid appearing rude- that's not at all necessarily submissive. It would probably be safe to say that you've expressed that behavior to others and others have expressed it to you- but you only notice in the ones you would respond positively towards or who would be in your "available for further consideration" pool. While there certainly is good reason to believe in "kink-dar"- it's generally a good idea not to assume anything.

adrian28 -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/10/2008 9:20:54 PM)
Hmm, come to think of it, there's a huge scare across my nose. Always be mindful of where the metal bedframe is, lmao.

addisonclarkgirl -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/10/2008 9:23:17 PM)
I am a very intuitive person also. I can sense things about people without words. I never thought of this as being sympathetic, but I can see where it might be, now that you've mentioned it. Very interesting.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/10/2008 9:26:09 PM)
quote: Empathy tends to be specifically the ability to experience the feelings of another person as if they themselves were experiencing those feelings. This is my understanding of "empathic," as well. And yes, at times I am empathic to my Master. I did not ask to be, nor try to be. But when his mood is magnified, ie; in times of great stress or great joy, I feel it, whether I am with him or not. I almost wish I couldn't.

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/10/2008 9:48:59 PM)
The instant connection thing comes about because the other person reminds you of something. Haven’t you noticed when you formed an instant connection and talked about it much later, invariably it was because one of you reminded the other person of someone influential in the past? There is some kind of learned behavior that makes you feel a certain way when you view someone who looks like the previous important person. Having said that, as people become closer, and if they are intellectually similar and both are relatively sensitive, they begin to play off of each other. One’s words and energy level will affect the other. As it happens over longer periods it becomes an emotional and even physiologic matter. When the other person comes near or speaks, the other feels it physically. They will also respond to subtle clues because they have learned each other so well, plus if they are intellectually compatible, they will notice the same things in the environment. In addition, they KNOW the other sees the same things. That’s when one starts to say something and the other finishes the sentence.

chiaThePet -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/10/2008 10:10:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adrian28 I've had women make eye contact and look down involountarily, much to my own amusment. Don't suppose that might have something to do with the fact that you're a big ol black man would it? Aside from the Teddy Bear that you might be. chia* (the pet)

lally3 -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/11/2008 4:26:21 AM)
i think there is an instinct in all of us, there has to be, we have moved a long way from the animal kingdom, but we are still equiped with the instincts that have made us as successful as we are. communication between each other without words and even communicating between ourselves and animals is possible through the global language of emotion. we can tell when someone/thing is happy, sad, curious, away with the fairies, etc., recognising each other is an interesting one. a week or so ago i had a curious experience with someone in a checkout que in waitrose. im still not sure if he was a Dom exactly, or whether he was just an enigmatic vanilla. i was already in the que and i became aware of someone standing behind me. he struck up an amusing conversation with the checkout person and i dunno, but there was something really compelling about him. when i looked (cautiously) over my shoulder at him he looked at me in such a way that made me instantly think, Dom. i still dont know if he was or not. but the smile he gave me was of someone who knew who he was and suspected he knew who i was too. well, even if it was my imagination, it was hot, so who cares! i think its possible, yes. like someone said earlier, you see someone in a crowd and you instantly know youll hit it off. its the instinct thing, friend or foe - our survival was built from it. lally

katie978 -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/11/2008 4:42:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adrian28 I've had women make eye contact and look down involountarily, much to my own amusment. This happens to me every day. I'll be randomly staring at a strange person, they'll notice. Crap-they saw me, look away, look away, blush. I don't think I've ever done it because they were dominant. It's not like I'd stare down someone I thought might be submissive I just happened to be looking at and caught their eyes. However, I do think that nearly every relationship has as aspect of power to it. When I go out with my friends, they will frequently be the ones to choose what we wind up doing. When I'm in groups (and there's no grade riding on the output), I'm fine letting the others choose our topic. By the way....empath doesn't appear to be a real word. Just an English major chipping in.

LilMissHaven -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/11/2008 4:53:14 AM)
Being deaf, my other senses have kicked into hyper-drive. Every movement or sound gives off a different sort of vibration that the small hair on my body interprets. Its a survival instinct, I have spent years developing. I can tell people I know apart by the vibrations their footsteps make on the floorboards. My X-Master was fascinated with the skill and developed a game of sorts...I would be blindfolded, and if I could correctly guess the tool, where the whack was going and on a scale of 1-5 its impact, I wouldn't get the whack. Master generally walked away from these sessions a frustrated Sadist ~winks~ That is until he figured out that fans blowing from different directions threw me off. Emotions for me are interpreted much the same way. Every emotion sends off a vibration only instead of the small hairs on my skin doing the receiving and interpretation, it happens somewhere in my brain. Its impact depending on the depth of the emotion felt. I see feeling others emotions as a curse. Sure, I have many friends because I know exactly how that individual needs me to approach them at any given moment. But, I also feel like I'm invading their right to privacy and have been known to interpret the emotion of another as my own. I faint at funerals, faint at weddings, heck I've even fainted at Disneyland all from a sensory overload. I have spoken to many who can block it all out but I have not learned how so I'm very uncomfortable in large groups of people which is often misconstrued as shyness when in truth I'm rather out going. As for instant recognition...I notice emotion patterns and try to stay away from emotional vampires...you know those who can never truly find happiness because they are never happy with themselves? Nobody can drain you faster.

marieToo -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/11/2008 4:57:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adrian28 Also, I've been wondering if it's possible for subs/slaves to recognize a dominant at a glance. I can only recognize those who feel dominant to me. The same person that I 'recognize' as dominant, or as a dominant, might impress someone else as a complete pussy.

egelante -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/11/2008 6:02:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain The instant connection thing comes about because the other person reminds you of something. Haven’t you noticed when you formed an instant connection and talked about it much later, invariably it was because one of you reminded the other person of someone influential in the past? There is some kind of learned behavior that makes you feel a certain way when you view someone who looks like the previous important person. That's an interesting notion... but I would hazard that there is also archetypal recognition amongst people. Using that notion, it would seem to me that one could recognise certain attitudes, movements, and so on based on a wide experience rather than being reminded of an important individual. Certainly I carry a variety of archetypal traits, which probably send out all sorts of mixed messages, some of which will be purely based on mood; and I have noticed similar things with other people. I would be able to make a more puissant case for this had I actually trained myself to make educated guesses based on this. Maybe it's something I'll work on. Give me a week or two! quote: Having said that, as people become closer, and if they are intellectually similar and both are relatively sensitive, they begin to play off of each other. One’s words and energy level will affect the other. As it happens over longer periods it becomes an emotional and even physiologic matter. When the other person comes near or speaks, the other feels it physically. They will also respond to subtle clues because they have learned each other so well, plus if they are intellectually compatible, they will notice the same things in the environment. In addition, they KNOW the other sees the same things. That’s when one starts to say something and the other finishes the sentence. Now... that's a mixture of things. To me it is less about sub-vocal communication or psychological connection, and more about pavlovian conditioning human predictability. I guess it's just a different view on the same phenomenon.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/11/2008 6:17:54 AM)
quote: I'm just wondering in general about spiritualism. i think spiritualism is everywhere you choose to look for it...which is one of the things i like about it.

Aneirin -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/11/2008 6:29:28 AM)
At times I am empathic, it used to be a complete pain as I would pick up bad feelings, atmospheres, I would feel angry for no reason and sad for no apparent reason with people with whom I worked until I learned of empathy. My empathy also had a good effect, in my occupation as a repairman, I knew where faults were, the actual internal that was at fault, as if I could 'see' that fault.The trouble I had was to actually explain how I arrived at that diagnosis, something not good in the aircraft repair industry. I know what you are saying adrian28, I have often wondered at this and have at times I feel identified the powers within people, whether they may be more dominant or submissive, it is just a feeling I get, usually on a first meeting, familiarity, i.e. close contact usually clouds the feeling, but on occaisions strong feelings come lancing through even with the bestest of friends. I tried it once at a munch, what with all dressed in 'civvies' , I listened to my feelings with the question in mind as to who was what. One very strong feeling from one person who turned out to be a pro domme, she exuding something which I picked up on, though she admitted later she would describe herself as switch. So I think what one truly is and their preference there might be a difference, something which might explain why some people change roles at different times of their life. As I said, empathy can be a PITA, it is just recognise it's results as a possibility, yet another pointer to aid a person's communication with another, a sense other than the obvious five.

charmdpetKeira -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/11/2008 6:41:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adrian28 It's true that I can comunicate with some people without a single wordbut, I call this sort of thing intuitiveness; a fine tuned ability to read, not only what is shown, but what is “missing”, as well. The more I know a person, the better I am at it with them. quote: Also, I've been wondering if it's possible for subs/slaves to recognize a dominant at a glance. There was one person I ran into that made me extremely curious to know. He had a very “primary color” demeanor, which attracted my attention, but it was the way he met my gaze, numerous times blushes, with a “matter of fact” stare, until I looked away, that made me wonder. k

colouredin -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/11/2008 6:50:05 AM)
I think some people have an aura about them, a confidence thing that I pick up on, I like to think im fairly intuative to energy and stuff, but i wouldnt ever ask these people "hey are you a Dom". I also have met people that I have seen submissive energy in (irnoically they normally frustrate the hell out of me) On energy When I first went to visit Sir and girlie I said to them that I didnt like the energy in the front room, it turned out that a lot of people had said the same, during a calling they had had to stop midway through becauase of it. We did a clensing ritual and everyone has commented on the room feeling better (even the rats behave differantly, which is bad for me cos i hate the little buggers) and Im kinda with chia on the women downcasting their eyes thing tho.

egelante -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/11/2008 7:02:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally3 i think there is an instinct in all of us, there has to be, we have moved a long way from the animal kingdom, but we are still equiped with the instincts that have made us as successful as we are. communication between each other without words and even communicating between ourselves and animals is possible through the global language of emotion. we can tell when someone/thing is happy, sad, curious, away with the fairies, etc., recognising each other is an interesting one. a week or so ago i had a curious experience with someone in a checkout que in waitrose. im still not sure if he was a Dom exactly, or whether he was just an enigmatic vanilla. i was already in the que and i became aware of someone standing behind me. he struck up an amusing conversation with the checkout person and i dunno, but there was something really compelling about him. when i looked (cautiously) over my shoulder at him he looked at me in such a way that made me instantly think, Dom. i still dont know if he was or not. but the smile he gave me was of someone who knew who he was and suspected he knew who i was too. well, even if it was my imagination, it was hot, so who cares! i think its possible, yes. like someone said earlier, you see someone in a crowd and you instantly know youll hit it off. its the instinct thing, friend or foe - our survival was built from it. lally Now, I am generally the one starting the amusing conversation with the checkout person... and so identify with this story from that side. I don't think that any casual observer in an ordinary situation like that would risk thinking me a submissive character - quite the opposite. But that is partly to do with social projection - a given set of traits being manifested to negotiate a given situation. And so, I know that I generally get friendlier service when I am calm, confident, and charming, when I make eye contact and smile quickly. I know that in the street, much the same applies: the world is a friendlier place if you approach it with bold amicability. Add that to the facts that I read people like I do books, and that I do have... presence, I suppose, for want of anything else to call it, and you have what appears to be a dominant person. Now put me in a situation where I have no clue what I am doing, and, unless I am feeling energetic and intellectually engaged, it's quite possible that I will become hesitant, needy, or obtuse. Quite a difference. And so what am I saying? well I'm not quite sure. I'm certainly not suggesting the "don't judge a book by it's cover" adage, but I'm trying to draw contextual considerations into your thoughts. I hope that you do not mind. And what am I? goodness knows - I certainly dare not claim that I do. From experience, I would say that it all depends on who the observer is what they want or are trained to see in me. Some see a switch, others a naturally gifted dominant, others a a 'fluffy dom', others a submissive with an inflated ego. I could introduce you to four people who know me reasonably well, and each would give you a different one of those based on their experience of me and their experience of other people.

BitchGoddessD -> RE: Empaths and Instant Reecognition (3/11/2008 7:04:10 AM)
I am an empath and as such I am often overwhelmed by others emotions. I always know when someone is in emotional distress - friend or stranger. It is extremely difficult, but necessary, to learn how to set mental boundaries. Sometimes I have had to leave a place or situation because of the emotional toll. Sometimes I have been able to help someone with their issues. Even if it is just to listen. My empathic nature does come in handy when domming. I can feel the energy of my sub. I also find that many people are drawn to me because of being empathic. It has been an interesting gift. My niece is empathic too. I recognised it in her when she was 2.

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