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RE: marriage - 3/11/2008 7:13:28 PM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		We have recently got married and it was perfect. It was held in His parents garden in front of our families and friends. The service did not include any kink, why make those we love feel uncomfortable?
C & c

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: marriage - 3/11/2008 7:14:17 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline 		Good for you!  I think it's very cool.

I don't think marriage is incompatible with BDSM, but I don't think same-sex couples are incompatible with the idea of marriage, so ...

I've been married only twice in my life - both times to the same guy.   For our second ceremony,  we took very private (just us two) vows while lounging naked in a clothing optional hot springs.  It meant so much more than the first time, when we did it for family with all the pomp (and stress) - when it was a performance.  When it was just for us, it felt completely different.

Had we had someone like you around, maybe we would have chosen something else again.

Good luck to you!

(in reply to princesslilian)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: marriage - 3/11/2008 7:18:34 PM   
awmslave


Posts: 599
Joined: 3/31/2006
Status: offline 		Marriage is trading liberty for (sometimes illusive) security. Think carefully before doing so!
Note: I am not against marriage; it has important function in primitive societies.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: marriage - 3/11/2008 7:21:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: completenz
We have recently got married and it was perfect. It was held in His parents garden in front of our families and friends. The service did not include any kink, why make those we love feel uncomfortable?
C & c

It's a difficult line to walk- why cannot those who are there to celebrate my choice and my path in life accept and be happy for what I choose and not let their own feelings interfere?

However, marriages are for those who are married, weddings are for social events.  While you'd think the one event the married couple could be completely selfish and self serving on would be their wedding, it is still a social event and thus some compromise usually needs to be made.  This is often why people still divide their lives completely- their kink life and vanilla life.

Some of us are lucky enough to have chosen friends who want us to be happy more than anything, and have families who don't care as long as we're responsible and happy.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to completenz)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: marriage - 3/11/2008 7:26:02 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirguym

In the UK there are Humanist Ministers, some kink-aware, or actually in the lifestyle, who will officiate at a sort-of-church-style wedding any way you want it, with a secular, or non-Christian Spiritual, service.



What the OP needs is a Spankanist Minister.


FOFLMAO

Mine Minister is pretty cool.. but I think even Manish would blush and stutter and not be able to control himself in some way if someone showed up to be married in leather bike shorts and a dog collar or assless chaps.  I dont think any of us would do that to him.. he does have a great sense of humor though. He has to..

I am 33 I have never been married. ( been engaged more times then Elizabeth Taylor has been married but we arent going there)

I technicaly cant get married in my state.. and even if I went out of state it wouldnt matter here. So... why bother?

I was a "together" 18 year old.. but I still had no idea what the hell I was in for in life. dear gods live a little. Hell I was a together 25 year old.. I still didnt have much of a clue... Give me a couple of years and I will say the same about 33. LOL

I would like the option.. but I hate to admit it.. I am a commitment phobe.

Yeah this from the woman who has been with her girl for 6 years, one sub for 10+ and the other for 8 years.. I know I know.. sounds odd eh?

Gwyn

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(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: marriage - 3/11/2008 8:22:44 PM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		hi LA
i think you may have misunderstood my post.
Our wedding day was exactly as we wanted it to be. We are a very private couple, whose families and friends support and love us very much. With parents in their 70s and our children also there, we saw no need to include our kinks in the service. It was our day and was perfect.
C & c

_____________________________

'Life is not always measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away'

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: marriage - 3/11/2008 8:58:45 PM   
MasterBlueTiger


Posts: 57
Joined: 9/2/2007
Status: offline 		First off I want to say that I define marriage different than other people. I consider it a "Union of Souls" something that trancends religion, gender, politics, etc. The idea that you have to have a marriage legalized is absurd. People have been getting married long before formalized governments existed. Just look at ancient nomadic tribes. If you feel otherwise please provide me with historical data to back up your opinion, thank you.
I consider marriage to be a spiritual thing.
Weddings are cool in their own way, and I wouldn't mind having one, but because of the leagl mumbo jumbo crap I would have one mostly for fun. I beleive weddings themselves were originally intended to be a celebration of this spiritual devotion between two people(or more in polygamous, polyamorous relationships), no religion or politics about it. Its a party!

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Men may be stupid, but call me that and I'l throw my abbacus at you.
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(in reply to completenz)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: marriage - 3/11/2008 10:17:23 PM   
phoenixinchains


Posts: 2534
Joined: 4/5/2007
From: i live here
Status: offline 		on April 1st, i'll be 24, and have spent a quarter of those years happily married. my advice is have a wedding that is to your taste, but still comfortable enough for Great Na Naw. Then have a separate and privite gathering where y'all can celebrate in the spirit of joy, however you both see fit. Best Wishes and hope this can help-

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OWNED BY CHAOSFORGE.
purrfectly happy slave of Chaosforge.


http://www.myspace.com/phoenixofchaosforge
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(in reply to MasterBlueTiger)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 1:38:45 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		Far as I know preist only like alter boys...what was the question???

BadOne

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 1:53:43 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterBlueTiger

First off I want to say that I define marriage different than other people. I consider it a "Union of Souls" something that trancends religion, gender, politics, etc. The idea that you have to have a marriage legalized is absurd. People have been getting married long before formalized governments existed. Just look at ancient nomadic tribes. If you feel otherwise please provide me with historical data to back up your opinion, thank you.
I consider marriage to be a spiritual thing.
Weddings are cool in their own way, and I wouldn't mind having one, but because of the leagl mumbo jumbo crap I would have one mostly for fun. I beleive weddings themselves were originally intended to be a celebration of this spiritual devotion between two people(or more in polygamous, polyamorous relationships), no religion or politics about it. Its a party!


History 101
Marriage is/was/always has been about property rights <and the whole commitment to one> whether it is camels or cars.  Being married gives you certain rights.  Furthermore back in the day the oldest son pretty much got everything and daughters got squat.  Check your facts.  That is why gays want to goverment to accept their marriages.  So they can share ret, medical benefits and other rights afforded in marriage, that your not entitled to without it.

BadOne 

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to MasterBlueTiger)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 7:19:15 AM   
velvetslave


Posts: 33
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

To the OP........ In  18 years you will be twice your present age and still only 36.
FUCK!!! is the world gonna look different. Something to ponder

Jeff


Jeff,
Wise words!!  I got married at 18.  I turned 36 six months after my divorce was final. I look back and wonder "What the hell was I thinking?".  The only positive I have from being in the "institution of marriage" is my UM. 
velvetslave

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 7:22:06 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Time always tells whether it's going to be for the long haul or not... and when you find out it's not supposed to last, it's too late  .


< Message edited by kittinSol -- 3/12/2008 7:49:32 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 7:30:22 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes it's better and sometimes it is wayyyyyyy worse. From what I have seen far too many people get way too wrapped up on the wedding part and don't think enough about the, BEING married, part.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to princesslilian)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 7:36:25 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		 I think about it all the time..

Ward

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 7:48:56 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes it's better and sometimes it is wayyyyyyy worse. From what I have seen far too many people get way too wrapped up on the wedding part and don't think enough about the, BEING married, part.


Excellent point, LaT.  My ex wanted alllllllllllllllll the trappings of the "big day"...I have often thought, after having seen the show "Bridezillas", that she would have been a perfect participant on that show.  But, 2 years after our last um was born, we put on a good show for others and even for ourselves most of the time;  the problem was that there were important times between the two of us that were not being spent the way they should have been.  On me as well as on her...I learned though and that is one reason why I've looked carefully at the idea and am able to post that I wish to be in a marriage but don't often post that I look forward to getting married.  The trappings are the really easy part when you look at it properly...it is what comes before and afterwards...the work, the joy, the understanding, the patience, everything else that makes either the marriage and/or the D/s dynamic worthwhile.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 7:51:49 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Tigresse and Jeffff, will you have a typical collarme wedding? Will it involve housedresses and clown shoes? Will the theme be "1950s household"? Or "christian domestic discipline"  ?

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 9:30:21 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Jeff will be the one in the housedress and I will be wearing the clown shoes...........I might conceed to add the stupid frilly socks too........

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 9:31:46 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		 Long and black...... and NO cleavage.... do I look like a slut?

Ward

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 9:34:47 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Jeff will be the one in the housedress and I will be wearing the clown shoes...........I might conceed to add the stupid frilly socks too........


Gee LaTigresse...i think you should save the frilly socks for Jefff, provided he does not shave his legs.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: marriage - 3/12/2008 9:49:09 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		No, the frilly anklets go with the clown shoes. You are sooooooo naive...

Jeff

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 60
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