RE: Was I ignored and stood up???

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RE: Was I ignored and stood up??? - 3/12/2008 7:32:12 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: letmefall

WHere did it say I never met him???? I said we had lunch and yes were together as D/s more than once. We were forming quite a bond. So you are mistaken.

It wasn't until your 5th post about it that you said you had met him before. When I read your OP I thought you hadn't met, either, since you were needing directions to see him. It is common for people to answer the OP without reading the rest of your thread. Frankly, after reading your OP I didn't answer because I thought the same as Aileen.

(in reply to letmefall)

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RE: Was I ignored and stood up??? - 3/12/2008 9:10:17 PM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

I don't think she's being a drama queen. IMHO he was a coward. You don't just drop people like that. It's bad manners, it's the easy way out and in no relationship, whether in BDSM, vanilla or friendship is this acceptable. You wouldn't do it to friends, why should someone you have submitted to have that option.

Just my 2¢... dreamer

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Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Was I ignored and stood up??? - 3/13/2008 6:37:56 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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It happens all the time, in real life, in cyber, wherever. I think the OP can be as offended as she wants to be. I know I am when it happens to me! I can understand "just not that into you", but it does take more courage to say that out loud than it does to just disappear.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to greeneyedreamer)

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RE: Was I ignored and stood up??? - 3/13/2008 6:54:34 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It happens all the time, in real life, in cyber, wherever. I think the OP can be as offended as she wants to be. I know I am when it happens to me! I can understand "just not that into you", but it does take more courage to say that out loud than it does to just disappear.

Courage it does take, sometimes quite a bit more then I have. Depending on the person that I've wanted to end a relationship with I've gotten verbally abused, cried at, suicide threats, months of harrassment while he waits for me to change my mind and realize what I've lost.....

Depending on the other party involved, sometimes it seems like way too much work to break up the right way. And honestly, watching the OP on this thread, she might be one of those that's it's hard to break up with.

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

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RE: Was I ignored and stood up??? - 3/13/2008 11:56:11 AM

KevinS

Posts: 24
Joined: 12/18/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kinkypuppy2
We have had that problem a lot in our search for a submissive/slave.
<snip> once it came down to ponying up- they ran..
Sorry it happens a lot on collarme..

My vote for what happened is to echo this post.
For many people, they are satisfied or even titillated by the online aspects of being into something kinky, chatting and doing whatever "online BDSM" is supposed to be, and feeling as if they are part of a subculture that's a bit naughty and daring. For better or for worse, my observation is that collarme has a pretty large subset of folks with little or no real-time experience, but a lot of experience in talking about it and fantasizing about it.

(note - yes, I realize this is both a sweeping generalization and a personal opinion. I caveat it as both).

Moving from reading books, chatting, being online, fantasizing about what you think you want, to being across a table from someone, and/or physically doing something, mentally processing the reality of it happening... well that's muy scary shit for a lot of people.
A very big step and a lot to digest. As such, a lotta LOTTA people flake on meeting.
Even people who fully well intend to follow through might have a crisis at the last minute.
This is the case with many online 'meeting places' - it's as common in the swing scene as it is in BDSM.

I'd suggest assuming an attitude of hopeful cynicism with the potential of a 'date' made online actually happening - presume they're not going to follow through, but hope that they will, and allow yourself to be joyous when they do.

_____________________________

"If one man wants another man dead badly enough, he'll find a way to kill him.
If he happens to be wealthy and psychotic, then this poses less problems than it would for most people."
- John Brizzolara

(in reply to kinkypuppy2)

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RE: Was I ignored and stood up??? - 3/13/2008 12:08:48 PM

masterfixer

Posts: 82
Joined: 3/25/2006
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don't make someone a priority when all you r to them is an option

(in reply to Dnomyar)

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Post #: 46