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RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 10:58:23 AM   
postulant


Posts: 32
Joined: 12/14/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline 		If I may offer another perspective?  Perhaps the sub is inexperienced and honestly has no clue what might be customary at such initial meetings?

It could come down to a consideration as weighty as "Am I truly ready for this step?" to something as pragmatic as "Should I reschedule that afternoon's dental appointment?"

p.


_____________________________

the only thing I'll ever ask of you
you gotta promise not to stop when I say "when"

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(in reply to WalterRego)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 11:06:40 AM   
solvr70


Posts: 425
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor
No, this is not a Lady Hathor expose---
 
However, I am interested in perspectives--one of the things that irritates Me, is when in chatting with a boy and an agreement that we will meet for an interview--his question is invariably--what will happen. My response is standard:
 
We will meet for lunch or dinner, chat, share thoughts and see  if we connect---here is where I get peeved a tad--
 
' yes Mistress, I expect that to happen, but what will happen next?'
 
I am reluctant to give more than vague details as in that initial meeting I could decide, nothing more will happen---as I share with them--we moght not get any further than this---however, when pressed for the next meeting--how do some of you respond or what responses have some of you gotten from your Dominants?


it's kind of difficult to say why that happens. i have been in the opposing position before myself.

i really think it's important to get to know someone first. a bit online if that is where i meet someOne, then like You said, lunch or dinner and chat, share thoughts and interests. see what the dymanics of rt end up being. then have a day or so to think about it all, absorb it all and see how it goes.

however, a number of instances that i have run into, the Woman in wanting an immediate service slave, and that is soooo jumping the gun.


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My eyes have been opened....there is nothing on this earth as sexy as a Woman wearing a strapon cock and smile as She looks at me

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 11:07:08 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		While that is certainly possible, I've had enough of these types of questions and from the exact scenario that Lady Hathor presented -- I'd guess that's not the case.

(in reply to postulant)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 11:08:51 AM   
Ostentatious


Posts: 98
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

I've never asked those types of questions to a Dominant and honestly even when intensely curious, have never asked for a photo either. I've gone to meet a Dominant and several times suddenly realized that  I have no idea what she will look like, or that we did not set any recognition signal, like what either of us will be wearing.



Rather you than me Walter!

A dominant is still a person, if you're meeting it's because you share joint interests, have the basics each other is looking for and at some point, maybe more importantly for me than you, attraction :)



(in reply to WalterRego)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 11:25:11 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		There are also people who will pass you buy because you don't have much experince, and or are not well known. Course, you might not like them either, and we can't please every one.

WE shouldn't try to please every one either, just those who deserve it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ostentatious


So, after six years I've only had one domme, which lasted for a year, never played with anyone else privately and the only other 'play' I've had has been with friends at VERY public demonstrations with hundreds of people watching :)

I'm quite proud of that!


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(in reply to Ostentatious)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 11:29:18 AM   
Ostentatious


Posts: 98
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

There are also people who will pass you buy because you don't have much experince, and or are not well known. Course, you might not like them either, and we can't please every one.



I think I've been really lucky in my choices bdsm wise, I attend pretty much all the London Munches and Clubs which has given me a social cricle of hundreds :)

As for experience, that's a different issue.  I very much doubt anyone has any use for someone whose been trained to someone elses standards so experience or not, new relationship, new standards, even if you were the most experienced in the world, new relationship, new standards.  So it's much of a muchness from a logical point of view.

I'm happy for people to 'pass me buy' because I know how picky I am and expect everyone to be the same.

< Message edited by Ostentatious -- 3/12/2008 11:36:51 AM >

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 12:42:01 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
quote:

sexaholics anonymous


You mean that isn't where most of us Dom/mes go to wait and see if anyone is going to have a slip?
I've surely seen plenty of the m/Dom's smoking cigs outside the entrance of the meeting.  But, I just happened to notice that when driving by, hapazardly. 


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Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 1:10:15 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		Dommes are not sexaholic's...they're women...and women are allowed to be sluts...its in our nature to like sex.  especially same sex. 

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 1:15:46 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
quote:

Dommes are not sexaholic's...they're women...and women are allowed to be sluts...its in our nature to like sex.  especially same sex. 


*patting the seat beside me*  Come over here you little sex creature, you.  And, please...edify me.  *grin*


_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 1:16:59 PM   
WalterRego


Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ostentatious

Rather you than me Walter!

A dominant is still a person, if you're meeting it's because you share joint interests, have the basics each other is looking for and at some point, maybe more importantly for me than you, attraction :)



Of course attraction is important (for both she and I), which is one of the reasons for the meeting and also one of the reasons why asking beforehand what will happen at or after that meeting is so nonsensical.

_____________________________

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

(in reply to Ostentatious)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 1:23:35 PM   
MistressFaye1


Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		I for one will not play on the first, second, third... etc.  It takes me a long time to go there.  I'd rather know the interests and person outside of the D/s relationship.  In doing so, if it was meant to be, the natural will occur.  Most of the time my play time, the first time was NOT planned or planned by me and he didn't know it. By that I mean, at some point I feel he is ready and I am too.  It helps weed out the wankers and the ones that are desparate and willing to "serve" anyone for the sake of doing so or to have their needs met as some type of exhange.

If someone asks me that question I simply tell them what we will do... i.e. dinner, lunch.  It's usually and activity that is interactive rather than going to a movie or something along those lines.  If I'm asked what will I "do" to them I simply say, "not a damn thing."  Depending on the answer after that, we may not meet at all.

Those that are truly looking for the right ONE will take the time to get to know him/her. 

Faye




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You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to Ostentatious)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 2:15:53 PM   
KindLadyGrey


Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline 		I tell them that there will almost certainly be cuddles, and if they find that answer disappointing they should move along. Responses range from "Awww, yay!" to "Cuddles? WTF? Are you sure you're a Domme?"

I tend not to look favorably on the latter.

(in reply to MistressFaye1)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 2:21:25 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well, a true DOMME has a heart of cold steel and really, deep down, hates all men, women, and small furry creatures.  Cuddles are a sign of weakness, and weakness does not befit a true DOMME.

Everybody knows that. ;-)

DV's Fox

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 2:30:42 PM   
KindLadyGrey


Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline 		Do you know why I don't have puppies and kittens in my house, Fox?

BECAUSE I CRUSH THEM WITH MY CUDDLES OF DOOOM.

Then I eat them.

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 2:33:08 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Meeting the right person seems to be impossible.
Everyone seems to have their own take on what BDSM is about sometimes it's impossible to even talk to someone about it. Lots of men calling themselves submissive seem to be so angry. Sure I've made mistakes in relationships haven't we all?
I've heard all kinds of stories about what Dommes have done, should be etc.
I can't help what subs have in their minds. I can ty and tell them what it's all about for me if someone will give me a chance but it usually ends up in an arguement about what it should be about. All I know is that the only way I want to or even can dominate someone in ways which fulfill me is to be in a committed relationship of a romantic type. And the only way for me to form a relationship is get to know someone really well. That takes a lot of time, good communication and honesty. I don't send out photographs so that means a potential submissive has to risk that we will be attracted to one another physically. If physical attraction is the only prerequisite of a sub then really he is not right for me.
I don't think of myself as unattractive but attraction is in the eye of the beholder and it's not just about looks.

(in reply to MistressFaye1)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 2:35:15 PM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey

Do you know why I don't have puppies and kittens in my house, Fox?

BECAUSE I CRUSH THEM WITH MY CUDDLES OF DOOOM.

Then I eat them.


That is the most horrific...yet strangely adorable thing I've ever heard.  I'm a Foxen, granted I'm a hairless one...  Which means I might, to the untrained eye, resemble a puppy or a kitten...  I don't think my Owner and I shall be visiting you next time we're up through Maryland.  She'd be very upset if I got eaten. :-p

DV's Fox

< Message edited by Shawn1066 -- 3/12/2008 2:37:08 PM >

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 2:35:53 PM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey

Do you know why I don't have puppies and kittens in my house, Fox?

BECAUSE I CRUSH THEM WITH MY CUDDLES OF DOOOM.

Then I eat them.


Awwwwww. That's adorable. ^__^


_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 2:36:35 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

No, this is not a Lady Hathor expose---
 
However, I am interested in perspectives--one of the things that irritates Me, is when in chatting with a boy and an agreement that we will meet for an interview--his question is invariably--what will happen. My response is standard:
 
We will meet for lunch or dinner, chat, share thoughts and see  if we connect---here is where I get peeved a tad--
 
' yes Mistress, I expect that to happen, but what will happen next?'
 
I am reluctant to give more than vague details as in that initial meeting I could decide, nothing more will happen---as I share with them--we moght not get any further than this---however, when pressed for the next meeting--how do some of you respond or what responses have some of you gotten from your Dominants?
 
 



LOL...Nothing ever happens on/at the first meeting....


Diane

< Message edited by DianeB269 -- 3/12/2008 2:49:26 PM >

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 2:44:33 PM   
KindLadyGrey


Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hey boys, I also drink the blood of gentile children.

Are you in love with me yet?

(in reply to aidan)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 2:49:57 PM   
MistressVnus


Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
quote:

BECAUSE I CRUSH THEM WITH MY CUDDLES OF DOOOM.
Then I eat them.


Dayum!!  Guess you fooled them, huh?!!  LOL
*taking your name of the pet-sitting bulletin board*


_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)
Profile   Post #: 40
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