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RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 4:35:09 PM

SixFootMaster

Posts: 829
Joined: 9/27/2007
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~FR~

Oft-times, when a person asks "What will happen", they are after tittilation, something to fantasise over in the mean-time. Heck, sometimes the whole suggestion of a meet is just to get you to give them a fantasy to work on. Not always, though, there are some that are generally safety concious and are just trying to find out if it's safe to meet with you or not.

Six.

_____________________________

How-so oft fresh injurious deed
Doth turn Janus' petulant gaze
'pon the rocks and storm rift sea
And littered wood of broken days
disregard for toil shown
no ground broken, no seed sewn.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 41

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 5:05:35 PM

postulant

Posts: 32
Joined: 12/14/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline

LOL! Okay, after reading the posts since mine, it's official. I am so freaking naive and should have kept my mouth shut.

p.

_____________________________

the only thing I'll ever ask of you
you gotta promise not to stop when I say "when"

"How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a fight? I don't wanna die without any scars."

(in reply to MistressVnus)

Post #: 42

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 5:07:02 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

sexaholics anonymous! he needs to go there.

*sighs* had one that did... doesn't necessarily help.
he was also addicted to 12 step groups in general.. (wonder if there is a 12 step for that...lol)

OP: I also tell them no play on the first meet, some of them still don't get it, and those I don't meet at all.

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 43

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/12/2008 5:48:04 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I have actually gone from dinner to playing....but it's rare. Really, really rare.

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[page 23 girl]

(in reply to PsyVamp)

Post #: 44

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 2:21:20 AM

chezzy52

Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

Iliciting a handgag is random play???Placing a hand over someone's mouth because he may be talking too much or out of turn is a very natural thing to do.Besides..i don't command the darn thing...alot depends on how the conversation goes..the comfortability of the Domina with me..if i am making her laugh her ass off..body language and all.Then again..i might be so thouroughly enjoying myself i wouldn't give a shit one way or the other.Don't allow the red flag to go up immediately because you see handgag in my post.

(in reply to Ostentatious)

Post #: 45

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 3:05:35 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I think a first date should be to establish if there is a connection. However, if you soon realise there is, then you can move on to other topics. The main problem is this, whatever speed is right for one person, may not be right for the other. "IF" a submissive has met one Domina, and She went into detail about BDSM first time out, he may think thats the norm.

Personally a first date should be just a getting to know one another, if it takes off at full speed, thats fine, if not thats fine too... Just like vanilla dates.

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 46

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 3:11:50 AM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Ok I have a slightly different take on things. As I am really primarily interested in finding a 24/7 sub, My preliminary chats are a lot about trying to find out whether the sub to whom I am speaking aspires to such (with the right person(s) being a given), whether they could practically relocate here to make that a possibility etc. Along with that, I give some ideas of what life here would be like ... Master's role in the Household, the sorts of chores a sub would be expected to do, Household protocols, My Domming style (I am a polite and caring Dominant, don't expect Me to be a rude bitch and humiliate you, it's not going to happen!), and some of the preferred bdsm activities I enjoy. I also discuss potential deal-breakers like being a smoker, heavy alcohol or drug-user, allergic to or hates pets, loving rap, hip-hop or techno music (We HATE that!!). So in all of that I can be quite specific, with the caveat that this is forward-looking. I want the sub to know how this family would work, to understand that Master and I are "real" and how We live this lifestyle 24/7, and to understand the safety aspects of being with Us. I minimise the titillating details though, I don't intend this to be wank material! If they indicate this is the sort of family life they are seeking, then it is worth working on a meeting. Now, this is because I now live outside a smallish country city ... so most subs I meet online are likely to be a few hours away by car at a minimum. So it's not a matter of nipping out to a coffee shop tomorrow for a quick chat. So I want someone to be seriously interested in the potential of what I have to offer before they go to the time, trouble and expense of getting here for a meeting, and I put My energy and emotions into arranging that. A first meeting will at least be vanilla for the first 24 hours ... a meal together, I encourage them to stay at a local pub or motel, though the possibility of them using the spare room can be discussed (Master has to OK that). If they were to initially stay 3 days for eg (a long weekend), on days 2 and 3 there would be some household service (for Me to see how well they follow instructions) ... generally the prospect of doing dishes and yard work isn't wank material LOL! And MAYBE some light bdsm play if all is going brilliantly. The most sexual thing that might happen on day 3 is having them masturbate for Me. The connection would have to be AWESOME for them to see Me with limited clothing on the first visit!

However, when living in a capital city where it was a matter of nipping out to a cafe in a few days ... then I answered the "what will you do to Me Mistress?" in exactly the same way as the good Dommes here ... NOTHING! Talk your ears off maybe LOL!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to chezzy52)

Post #: 47

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 3:24:49 AM

MissMagnolia

Posts: 3636
Status: offline

I've had that same question posed within a few emails. "What will you do to me Mistress?". My immediate response is that I don't do wank material for anyone and goodbye.

Prior to a meeting, if the question is raised, I simply say that I am not a ProDomme or hooker, so they will NOT be having anything "done to them". If that is what they want, especially at a first meeting, they need to see one of the wonderful ladies who will cater to them. I will not.

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 48

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 3:38:39 AM

AS11

Posts: 45
Joined: 2/17/2008
Status: offline

Pliitesub53 I share your thinking, “Personally a first date should be just a getting to know one another.” However, I don’t view a first meeting as a date, nor would I allow physical magnetism to interfere with fact finding.
I date a number of women I am romantically involved with and a few I am intimate with but a first meet has nothing at all to do with romance or being intimate in my view.

< Message edited by AS11 -- 3/13/2008 3:41:03 AM >

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 49

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 4:20:47 AM

edgepassion

Posts: 67
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline

First meeting?

Like any first meeting.

Time for exploration, “see if we connect”…. can you say vanilla?

Actually I’d be a considerably more likely to “play” on a vanilla first date then I would on a “lifestyle” first date.
Any sub who is willing to give up control on a first meeting is, um, well…. nuts…. you’re going to let someone you don’t know chain you up?? …. course, seems to be an abundance of nuts out there…..

(in reply to AS11)

Post #: 50

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 6:34:28 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: edgepassion

First meeting?

Like any first meeting.

Time for exploration, “see if we connect”…. can you say vanilla?

Actually I’d be a considerably more likely to “play” on a vanilla first date then I would on a “lifestyle” first date.
Any sub who is willing to give up control on a first meeting is, um, well…. nuts…. you’re going to let someone you don’t know chain you up?? …. course, seems to be an abundance of nuts out there…..

You would be amazed at how many guys out there are NUTS. I have had guys totally immobilized in their homes......when I didn't even know their real NAMES. It gave me pause at the moment, as well....

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to edgepassion)

Post #: 51

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 7:38:40 AM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

FR

When I’ve gotten the question “but Mistress what comes next…” I pretty much tell then I don’t know and that I consider the first meet as more of if they’re crazy or not. After that it’s seeing if we have a connection. And how they talk to me in the next few days if they start to get pushy then, a lot seem to. Then I pretty much tell them I don’t go that fast and if they keep up that behavior I tell them bye-bye.

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 52

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 8:12:10 AM

chezzy52

Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

I think the only thing besides the subjects discussed at said meeting that a sub can be allowed to say or ask really is..may we meet again??It's simple and concise and again i reiterate,as a Domina,you will pretty much know if the boy is right for you.

(in reply to SunNMoon)

Post #: 53

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 8:14:55 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

No, this is not a Lady Hathor expose---

However, I am interested in perspectives--one of the things that irritates Me, is when in chatting with a boy and an agreement that we will meet for an interview--his question is invariably--what will happen. My response is standard:

We will meet for lunch or dinner, chat, share thoughts and see if we connect---here is where I get peeved a tad--

' yes Mistress, I expect that to happen, but what will happen next?'

I am reluctant to give more than vague details as in that initial meeting I could decide, nothing more will happen---as I share with them--we moght not get any further than this---however, when pressed for the next meeting--how do some of you respond or what responses have some of you gotten from your Dominants?

LadyoftheManor,

Your response of course is simply, whatever I decide will happen.
(you got them pictures yet? mail me!)

Ron(ne)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 54

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 9:25:17 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

No, this is not a Lady Hathor expose---

However, I am interested in perspectives--one of the things that irritates Me, is when in chatting with a boy and an agreement that we will meet for an interview--his question is invariably--what will happen. My response is standard:

We will meet for lunch or dinner, chat, share thoughts and see if we connect---here is where I get peeved a tad--

' yes Mistress, I expect that to happen, but what will happen next?'

I am reluctant to give more than vague details as in that initial meeting I could decide, nothing more will happen---as I share with them--we moght not get any further than this---however, when pressed for the next meeting--how do some of you respond or what responses have some of you gotten from your Dominants?

Maybe this is a dumb question but I will ask it anyway, addressed to whoever, specifically to the OP or other Dommes, has anyone ever said "Thank you. Is there anything I can get you?" ("Do for you?")

The "what will happen next" says it all - IMHO they might as well be asking "Is it worth me coming?" or "Will I get what I want out of it?"

This in itself speaks volumes of the quality of submission on offer.

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(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 55

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 9:27:36 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

' yes Mistress, I expect that to happen, but what will happen next?'

My standard response is "That depends on how well things go at first. Dont get ahead of yourself."
IF that isnt enough for them, then I know from the get go, it wont go ANYWHERE

Saves me time

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 56

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 9:31:17 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

They are lucky to get a first-time meeting for coffee. I usually don't want to commit to an entire (!) lunch or dinner. lol

My standard answer to "what will happen next?" is "I won't have a clue until I actually meet you."

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 57

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/13/2008 11:48:27 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Mini hijack ... Gorgeous new pic DV!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 58

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/14/2008 3:40:49 AM

iwearpanties

Posts: 509
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline

hello All

ive read all of the post here and i guess im the only one ? but i hope im not one of the Mistress ' es i met for the frist time told me where too meet and what to wear so she could see i have followed orders she had given and to be able too spot me out in a public place where we met . How ever she did tell me i d better be wearing ladies panties under my male clothes she gave me a type or panty and color it took me a few stores too find that but i had no trouble doing this for her kinda made me feel she was interested more or just wanting too see if i would realy do as instructed?
and i did do as she told me she was very plaes too see i found my panties and she made sure the lacey wasit band on then she colud see while we chatted

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 59

RE: Must I tell all? - 3/15/2008 4:36:04 AM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

No, this is not a Lady Hathor expose---

However, I am interested in perspectives--one of the things that irritates Me, is when in chatting with a boy and an agreement that we will meet for an interview--his question is invariably--what will happen. My response is standard:

We will meet for lunch or dinner, chat, share thoughts and see if we connect---here is where I get peeved a tad--

' yes Mistress, I expect that to happen, but what will happen next?'

I am reluctant to give more than vague details as in that initial meeting I could decide, nothing more will happen---as I share with them--we moght not get any further than this---however, when pressed for the next meeting--how do some of you respond or what responses have some of you gotten from your Dominants?

LOL...Nothing ever happens on/at the first meeting....

Diane

You'd be surprised Diane. I've been suddenly grabbed by the hair and kissed passionately when saying "goodby"!

For me, that was "something happening" that I did not expect at all! It was also a very pleasant surprise that was mutually enjoyed.

I always go into a first time face-to-face meet with no expectations other than to see what kind of chemistry there is between us and as an opportunity to continue to get to know each other; nothing else. By the time we meet the first time, I'd hope we already know a fair amount about each other and can have a pleasant talk about things we're already familiar in regard to each other about. If not, then it's probably too soon for me if we met on-line.

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to DianeB269)

Post #: 60

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