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stella41b -> RE: New to the Lifestyle ...or just online? (3/17/2008 12:53:20 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BoiJen
Firstly, I have never proclaimed to be a self appointed leader...not even of my own fan club. I've only stated my opinion as I see it. Having gone through the experience of being homeless and rejected by family and not even allowed a cance at my career of choice...has nothing to do with this thread...and I've done those things too.
BoiJen, I know you've never intentionally proclaimed yourself to be a self-appointed leader, and you and I know that you've got far too much sense in your head to ever do that. That bit from my own life was only important to explain the context of the situation, but yes it had a lot to do with the thread because I was showing that I was wrong in doing the exact same thing and expressing my opinion on things that shouldn't concern me. I was the one who had spoken out so vehemently against Iraq, saying that the troops had no right to be there, and then I come out and start dictating to Poles over how they should think and how their society should be. A shining example of hypocrisy no less, don't you think?
quote:
ORIGINAL: BoiJen
That's not to say the age card doesn't get pulled on me ever in the real world...it's just not for my opinions as I said. "You're too young to be complaining about bad joints." "Oh you can keep that kind of play up just because you're young. That'll change" Shit like that.
The age card argument is BS just exactly as the 'time served experienced' argument is BS. Experience doesn't always equate to knowledge, awareness or understanding. I got a 25 year old actress in my theatre who can act, and I mean really act, and she can act a lot better than many of the seasoned professional actors and actresses I've come across in my time. You see, experience doesn't take into account such things as intelligence, talent, that desire for knowledge, that burning desire deep inside to gather information and experience.
quote:
ORIGINAL: BoiJen
I do agree with Lady Pact...it really is apples and oranges between people who hole themselves up in their homes and never do anything other than fuck around on a computer. And people who are using the computer as a staple for a temporary part of time. Those same people will tell you the experiences are nothing alike.
I disagree here, and I will explain why.
BDSM is NOT real life.
It's a role play, based on fantasy, a whole series of transactions based on human interaction between people.
You or Lady Pact having a scene is really no different from me and what I'm doing with my actors and actresses in rehearsal a couple of times a week.
Yes, Miriam the actress really does become Alison, the character in my play. She answers to the name of Alison, she speaks, thinks, moves, and behaves just like Alison would. But Alison here is really no more than a figment of my imagination written as a character in a play and when she leaves the stage there is no more Alison, there's just Miriam, a woman who just happens to be an actress.
And so too it's the same in BDSM, it's a role play, a game, a relationship with other people based on rituals, psychophysical activities, and a whole series of transactions, games, strokes, payoffs, actions and reactions.
You can be who you want to be here in BDSM, you can be a slave, you can be a switch, a Dom, you can call yourself Supreme Lord and Master, Sublime Mistress Goddess Whiplash, slave tiddles, whoever and whatever but at the end of the day when the scene ends you become Joe Bloggs, Jane Smith, whoever you were before you started playing.
Those people you claim are fucking about with a computer aren't fucking about with a computer at all - they're studying and learning about BDSM. Just as in the same way I have studied the theories and works of people such as Constantin Stanislavski, Peter Brook, Jerzy Grotowski, Anton Artaud, Meyerhold, Pavlov, Dr Eric Berne and his entire Transactional Analysis theories and revision of Freudian theory, Rudolf Steiner, and others.
We're dealing with human behaviour in its many different shapes and forms, and human interactions. It is a learning curve, a process of illusions, fantasies, examining those fantasies and illusions and finding out in both theory and practice what actually lies behind all those illusions and fantasies.
The lifestyle isn't a separate entity, it never replaces real life, or it shouldn't, 'lifestyle' to me indicates someone who has decided to make an interest in BDSM and kink part of their lifestyle, irrespective of whether they are living it on a daily basis or only doing it once or twice a month with like-minded people.
The great beauty of BDSM is that you can take part, you can study it, read about it, talk about it, and whatever you do you learn - provided of course you are broadminded enough and open enough to actually learn something. Most people are, some people are not. This is why some of them spend years and years trying to find a suitable partner. Others spend years and years struggling to find a suitable partner who shares the same degree of knowledge and understanding which they do. Others spend a lot of time alone not because they're fantasists or 'fake' but because they're holding out and waiting for someone who accepts, understands and shares an interest in their particular kink or interests.
We are all human, we are all individuals, we all have different needs, different lifestyles, different sexual orientations, different philosophies on life, different needs, different experiences, different backgrounds, different desires, dreams, wants, different kinks, interests, passions, and motivations.
What is 'play' anyway? Isn't play merely practice, development? Isn't this where children learn to interact with each other and form relationships? And don't children play together through a variety of roles? Well yes, in my opinion, which is why millions of dolls houses, footballs, and cowboy, nurses, doctors, and policeman outfits, guns etc are sold in toy shops - simply so that children can play and they can play different roles and develop and learn.
This is the exact same thing as BDSM in my opinion. When we play we involve kink in our relationships, we openly share and express our needs to dominate, to submit, to inflict pain, to suffer humiliation, etc with another person whereas in a 'vanilla' relationship we wouldn't. We would just assume the missionary position, a bit of foreplay, and have done with it.
There's things here I don't understand, believe me. I don't understand for example why an adult woman would want to call her adult male partner Daddy. But you know, it's not for me to judge her for wanting to call her male partner Daddy, it's just part of their relationship and as long as they're happy together so what? I accept them for who they are and who they want to be. My opinion on what they do isn't of any value. I'm not that woman, I'm not her male partner, I'm not part of their relationship and I accept that they have just as much right to be here as I have.
quote:
ORIGINAL: BoiJen
Finally, I asked MsK what "chutzpah" was and She with big grin..."Somebody told you have it right? It's like saying you have balls....all dressed up and ready to go." So thanks! I know my opnions aren't popular at times...and that's not always a bad thing.
The Boi jen
"Let The Bodies Hit The Floor!!!"
Here too I assume that people come here because they are interested in what other people are writing and posting on subjects which interest them. This is a forum where people can read and write on a wide variety of topics and people come here because they want to share their knowledge in some way, they want to know what other people think, either to confirm their own opinions and knowledge or to seek out and find out what other people think.
Yes it's great to 'have balls', I have them too, and to be able to post here on a wide variety of topics and share your opinions, views, knowledge and experiences with others. But I come here also to read what other people write to find out, to learn, and to deepen my knowledge and awareness, not just of BDSM but also in some cases of myself. It always comes as reassurance to find some people who share my opinions, but then again I'm not afraid to take up an unpopular stand and to contribute to a thread to give others my opinion and my insight. Nor am I afraid to admit that I'm wrong, because at the end of the day I can only learn, I can only find out, and I can only develop when I read what is written by those who don't share my opinion and who disagree with what I think on a particular topic.
This is why I come here, I come to share, to contribute, and to read, to learn, to examine critically what I think, and to understand things which I may not already understand. I come here to read, and I enjoy reading, postings and things written by other people, people such as LuckyAlbatross, yourself, Lady Pact, Lady Hathor, Domiguy, Dnamyar, Stephann, SimplyMichael, KnightofMists, Darcyandthedark, seeksfemslave, Politesub53, and others simply because I know these people and many others do not share my opinions or perspectives. These are people I can learn from, these are people who can give me insight.
I don't see this as a popularity contest. Not at all. If I wanted to be popular because of my opinions I would become a politician. I come here simply to share, to learn, to read, to discuss, to contribute, but most of all to share some of the interests with others which are found under the umbrella term of BDSM.
It's called having an open mind, and being grounded enough in reality to understand that the whole WIITWD, kink, BDSM, D/s and whatever else is only really just a part of someone's lifestyle and not get carried away into thinking it is a replacement or substitute for real life.
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