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ORIGINAL: Madame4a

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To finalize, I have yet to meet the person who was solely online, then got into the lifestyle, who after experiencing real time for themselves, went back to say that the online experience was so much better.

bingo ...

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ORIGINAL: Justme696

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ORIGINAL: BoiJen

BTW Alfred Kinsey was the man who did on the most extensive studies on human sexuality and found that most people who consider themselves "straight" have had at least one homosexual fantasy in their lives. It doesn't make them gay. And there's numerous men who consider themselves straight even though they surf gay porn sites. So sue me if you don't like my opinion

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_Reports#Criticism

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Actually, june, this is My time wasting day.  I give Myself one a week.  It does wonders after a work rotation.

Madame4a, just had to say thank you.  I still think the two of us have a lot in common.

I'm cutting this for the space.

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ORIGINAL: SailingBum

I did the research on kinsey.  There are even a couple of movies on his story.  My take on the dude was he couched his deviance as a "study".  Without any concern of standard research controls.

BadOne

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ORIGINAL: junecleaver

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Actually, june, this is My time wasting day.  I give Myself one a week.  It does wonders after a work rotation.

Madame4a, just had to say thank you.  I still think the two of us have a lot in common.

I'm cutting this for the space.

Then we have something in common, because this is my time wasting day (technically, afternoon as I have work to do tonight).  It certainly is relaxing.

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ORIGINAL: junecleaver

Ditto.  That's why I generally roll my eyes when people talk about how much 'experience' they have, particularly when they harp on about how inexperienced others are.  Apparently, BDSM has to take up 99% of your life before you are 'real.'  I have a well-rounded Dominant.  BDSM is -not- the whole of his life and I would find him really boring and obnoxious if it was.  I think that BDSM is the whole of a lot of people's lives though.  They seem to create meaning in it, a community around it, and use it as an excuse to berate others.  Heh, I think it's pathetic, but whatever works for them works for them.  However, I wish they didn't feel the need to beat their chests so loudly. ;)

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ORIGINAL: Leatherist

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ORIGINAL: Madame4a

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To finalize, I have yet to meet the person who was solely online, then got into the lifestyle, who after experiencing real time for themselves, went back to say that the online experience was so much better.

bingo ...

Pretty much. The first touch of skin to skin pretty much blows the internet rose colored glasses all to hell. There's no going back to fantasy land after that.

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ORIGINAL: MistressCamille
They are not real, not by any means. It's only a game when it's online, that's about it. I don't care the reason, in most cases it doesn't have to stay online.

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And if the above statements are true then yes...real life play and relationship interactions are far more valid than online "interactions."

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

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ORIGINAL: MistressCamille
They are not real, not by any means. It's only a game when it's online, that's about it. I don't care the reason, in most cases it doesn't have to stay online.

The front page of my local paper today showed a M.P. just off the plane from a year in Iraq embracing his five year old. For the last year all he, and his wife and child, have had is phone and online.

According to you, this man isn't a real father or husband because it had to be online. Bullshit.

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ORIGINAL: Stephann

An issue briefly touched on, and then ignored, is that there is a new style of living.  There is a section of people who spend virtually all of their free time on the internet, interacting with other people on a daily, hourly basis.  They are immersed in video games, chat rooms, message boards, blogs, instant messengers, etc.  Most to all of their lives are lived on the internet.  They equate their virtual experiences with genuine experiences.  Playing a video game that sends them shopping in London, to them, means they have in fact shopped in London.  For those of you who have shopped in London, you're not likely to validate their virtual experience.

Nobody likes to be told their experiences aren't valid.  Telling someone they live pathetic lives because they live behind a computer only encourages that person to stay there in their warm little nest, where they are comforted by thousands, even millions of people  just like them.  The 'us vs them' mentality is as much to blame as any personality disorders or mental illnesses they may be suffering.

Thus, people who 'live' their BDSM fantasies online aren't very well in a rush to admit they're 'only online.'  Same with the occasional and private players.  When it comes to what we do with our free time, we are perfectly entitled to spend it however we wish. The trouble only seems to come when the online warrior starts making claims that he can kill in real time just like a real Marine. 

Stephan

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This made me wonder if Marine's who've fought in Iraq would consider Call of Duty, military experience?

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ORIGINAL: chellekitty

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This made me wonder if Marine's who've fought in Iraq would consider Call of Duty, military experience?

i don't think so, but i bet there are a lot of 18 year olds out there who can kick a lot of marine butt at Call of Duty....

the point is, experience in "A" is experience in "A", and everyone agrees that experience in "A" does not equal experience in "B"...but that does not make experience in "A" or "B" any more valid or real or true than the other...what works for you may or may not work for someone else and what works for them may or may not work for you...what is it, your kink is not my kink, but it's not my goodies getting squished in a vice grip so go for it if it gets you off...or something like that...

if someone is lieing to you and telling you that they have experience in "B" when all they have is experience in is "A"....withdraw consent (from either side), say good bye (or not), and leave....and it can all be done in one fluid movement amazingly enough....

take care
chelle