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Real_Trouble -> RE: New to the Lifestyle ...or just online? (3/13/2008 6:39:04 AM)
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quote:
Am I the only one who think surfing the net isn't a qualifying action to consider oneself "in the lifestyle"?
I was unaware there was a formal criteria and professional certification that was necessary. If you'd be so kind as to forward me a copy of the forms, I'd be glad to have my lawyer review them.
That's the sarcastic way of saying that it's a loosely defined group (at best), and that membership is clearly voluntary and not absolute. I happen to think it's also a foolish way to evaluate things; you have to take the circumstances and beliefs of each individual as a whole in order to get a read on them.
quote:
And don't go on about how "unsafe" it is to do this in the real world...because of who might find out. It's a load of bullshit. Because you don't want your partner finding out means your fucking around on them looking to be a weekend warrior. Not part of a community. What if my boss finds out? How's your boss going to find out? Somebody gunning for your job was there? Uh-huh let's see how that works out when you mention that little fact.
I find this string of comments, to be perfectly blunt, to be largely asinine - particularly the latter part, though 'safety' is in many cases an individual issue. If other people have different limits than I do, I find it about as useful to judge them on that as getting angry with people about their favorite color.
With regard to the work commentary, there are obviously major implications for people in various fields being outed. In the same way being gay will, actually, get you kicked out of the military in many cases, I'm quite certain that there are any number of governmental figures, religious figures, etc, who would be shit-canned immediately if it came out they were into kink.
More so, there is a more subtle form of discrimination (which is extremely difficult to prove) that can be at play - one of my former colleagues was outed kink-wise at one point by a co-worker, and was mysteriously denied a promotion for three years running despite being far and away the most qualified person in his group. He ended up leaving and works somewhere else they are blissfully unaware of his kink, and coincidentally has rocketed up to become a C-level executive in his early 30's. Go figure, right?
To naively state that there are no real world considerations here, or that they can be blithely avoided, strikes me as exceptionally foolish. Maybe you are willing to be more brazen about your habits than others, but that's like saying that because you jumped off a cliff and did not die, it must be safe to do it in all places at all times. Possibly you've never worked with the kinds of back-stabbing vicious vipers that I deal with on a daily basis. Point is, your claims simply are not corroborated by reality.
Or did something specific trigger this?
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