ProtagonistLily
Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
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This topic makes me cringe and grin all at the same time. Thanks pollux, my face hurts now ~Grin~
I'm an equal opportunity submissive, so I gotta ring in on the fem sub side of this, because I think there are just as many horny/kinky/bottomy girl does/says X, then a true submissive would do or say Y as there are guys.
The "True" thing has pissed me off for years. The chicks who prance around in their expensive fetish wear, whose eyes are always downcast, and who never say shit if their mouths are full, except to utter the fact that they are a 'natural submissive', ignore the rest of the female submissives but befriend the hot male subs and are all about The Masters, are women I tend not to get involved with aside from a cursory nod or hello. To me, these women are the HNG's of the real life scene. They giggle and stand in the back ground, waiting for some poor slob to rescue them. And at the same time, they snipe and backtalk those of us who are 'un-natural' submissives, as if they are in some way better than the rest of us who can say shit whether our mouths are full or not. Now if those girls are being true to themselves, good for them. But they don't hold the patent on true submission.
To me, true submission isn't about just me at all. We can theorize until the cows come home, but practice is a wholly differant animal simply because of the variables that we encounter with another person, and no two people bring the same set of variables to the table.
It's about allowing myself to be under the control of another person. And you know what? That's hard sometimes. To actually be owned by someone else who's got the strength of character, the mind, the articulation, the drive and the desire to control you can be trying sometime. It's difficult to learn new ways to communicate, to remember that I have to think about Sir at the same time I'm thinking about myself. It's hard when I stick my boot in my mouth and fuck something up and disappoint him, or even hurt him. We are relatively new as a D/s couple, and we are still learning each other. So, we have hit a few bumps, and have had some growing pains.
Submitting to this man is both the most challenging and the most rewarding thing I've ever done. He requires more of me than I ever required of myself. He has high standards for himself and he applies them to me. He has expectations he expects me to meet. And sometimes I struggle with those things, and when I'm struggling, I discuss it with him. Sometimes I fight him a little, but in the end, when all is said and done, I willingly submit.
And in my opinion, for what ever it's worth, that's what true submission means. True Submission isn't about showing up with all the gear and being totally user friendly. It's about showing up, and giving up control in stages, learning that person, trusting that person, struggling, and then giving up more.
The truth, from where I stand, is in overcoming the internal battle within one's self to continue to trust and give up the control. In giving up the control, I find the freedom that I never had before.
Lily
_____________________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~
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RE: True submission is... - 
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Lucky bastard.
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