|
littlebitxxx -> RE: free woman????????????? (3/22/2008 8:08:22 AM)
|
I am a Gorean Free Woman but please note that my answer is from my perspective only. Gor, like bdsm, like the bible, like Plato, like anything is all open to interpretation and the "living Goreans" live it in the manner they've interpreted it.
To explain my life easier, I'll put it in more vanilla terms. I am a single woman, I have a job, a car, responsibilities and obligations. I was married, raised children, then separated. I go out with friends, shop, go dancing, do all the 'normal' stuff that 'normal' women do. I met a single man and entered a relationship based on mutual respect, love, and admiration. We moved in together to share our home and lives (along with a whole bunch of kink ;) We are not married, we have SM playtime outside with others, we see our friends together and individually, but we come home to each other. I do the cooking usually (mostly self-preservation), we share financial obligations, we share homestyle responsibilities, I do the dishes, he vacuums. We are what would typically be thought of as a normal living together couple doing normal everyday things. We are, however, Gorean Free Companions. We entered the relationship with a verbal contract good for a year and a day, much like vanilla couples that get together "to see how it goes". I am not his submissive or slave, he is not my Dom or Master. When we decided to "collar" each other, in vanilla terms that would mean sorta like a deeper commitment to each other.
Gor is not just all about owning slaves. To read the books (yes, I know they have a horrible writing style) there is so much more there than flying around on tarns, raiding villages, taking slaves and plundering the loot. The books are a vehicle by which to transport deeper philosophies that Normal picked from several ancient (and not so ancient) cultures. To live as a Gorean means, to us, that we've chosen the parts of those philosophies that fit with living an honest, upstanding kinda life. Honour, integrity, protection of loved ones, loyalty to one's friends, honesty in personal and business lives....the traits that each of us usually try to aspire to anyway. Just plain ol' living a "good" life.
As for the "natural order" aspect where men are thought to be naturally dominant and women naturally submissive......if you look at the world for the past 100,000 years it's been just that. Men are physically stronger, linear in thinking, the hunter and gatherer, the protector, the one who pushes the woman behind him and shows his shield. Women are softer, physically weaker, the nurturers, the supporters, the ones who tend the home fires and keeps the families strong within, and gives the man a safe place to come home to. It doesn't mean women are weaker than men in all ways. They must be strong to defend the family, make the everyday decisions, and manage the household. Nowadays, women are also out in the world, managing, supervising, teaching, doing what used to be called a man's job...but she also maintains the home. So feminism is actually more of a Free Woman trait than otherwise. Men are not better, women are not better. We are different, with different strengths and weaknesses, different abilities and capabilities and therefore different responsibilites and areas of expertise. A Gorean Free Man recognizes that in his Companion, a Free Woman does also. A Companionship is therefore based on mutual respect and admiration, love maybe, using each other's strengths and abilities for the best of the relationship. Sounds actually kinda vanilla, don't it?
In bdsm terms, when you come to realize that you were a Dom or a sub or a switch or whatever, that's the way you've been anyway, the way you think, the way you want to live your life. You want to be spanked or controlled, you want to serve or be served, etc. Bdsm came along and allowed you to put a label on the life you want to live. Same same with Gor. The books came along, Gor came along and put a label and the way I had already been living my life. It's something I can identify with, just as you identify with being a submissive. Kinda like the whole belonging thing...I found other people that think like me so I'm not as weird as I thought....you call it bdsm, I call it Gor.
I'll put my soapbox away now and go get more caffeine.
|
|
|
|
