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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 8:23:18 AM

wandersalone

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I would be lying if I said that looks weren't important however I know I am a lot more realistic and forgiving...I do not expect perfection and know that I definitely don't offer that either. Attraction for me really is a combination though of a person's looks, their voice, their brain, their personality, how they treat me, how they treat others, how they treat themselves... you get the drift.

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Post #: 21

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 8:29:09 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

They either make you hard/wet or they don't.

exactly .... am not going to get involved with someone I dont feel physical attraction for , neither am I going to get involved with someone who is stunning but couldn'tfind their arse with both hands and a map.

sexual tension and attraction for me is just as much about the body as it is the mind
I am deep enough to look beyond the body, but shallow enough not to be able to ignore it totally.

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Post #: 22

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 8:35:09 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

I would be lying if I said that looks weren't important however I know I am a lot more realistic and forgiving...I do not expect perfection and know that I definitely don't offer that either. Attraction for me really is a combination though of a person's looks, their voice, their brain, their personality, how they treat me, how they treat others, how they treat themselves... you get the drift.

Agreed. And adding that while there are certain people that are generally considered attractive (angelina jolie, brad pitt, etc..) that I also find attractive.. for my life there are quite a few people I've dated that I found attractive at first glance that most people wouldn't have found so. (sorry for the run on sentence)

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Post #: 23

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 8:46:53 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

Steel, I think that saying that looks mean nothing is a bit disingenuous, they may not be your top priority, but I bet that they factor in at some level.

Pretend that the woman in question looks haggard and old yet you find out she's 25, she's missing 3 visible teeth and has cavities in others, she is underfed, has hollows under her eyes, sunken cheeks and a jaundice complection. She slouches when she walks, her hair is matted and greesey and her clothes are ill fitting and stained. There is blood around her nail beds where she's bitten her nails and cuticles too far down, an oozind wound on her knee where she feel and didn't take care of it and you begin to suspect that her unmaintained pussy hairs may have crabs.

Now we aren't talking about someone who might have a nose larger then you like, or has a hair color or body type you don't prefer. Looks not only indicate preference, they indicate health, attitude and self-esteem. People judge what's going on on the inside by how the outside is presented. Looks matter.

Sweetheart I am a recovering Drug Addict whose Drug of Choice was Meth and Crack.

You just described 4 or 5 of my Ex Girlfriends.

Now You are right Those looks would keep me from approaching them in the first place as I would assume that they are either currently using or going to be using again.

I think you are right on face value of what I said but I want you to see the other side. I ALWAYS look for frineds first and then where that goes second. Sure I will talk about sex sometimes from day one, but what I am looking for is a friendship that can move somewhere else if need be or stay where it is. The girls I am NOT Physically attracted to I still get to know and once I know them the outside isn't half as impressive as the inside and in that matter when I choose someone to be with I don't shut the door at looks. I shut the door when not only are the vapid but mildly retarded and touched in the head or perhaps negative or racist.

As far as I am concerned physical attracting is what happend when my Penis notices a girl first. Mutual Attraction is when I notice the girl for more than her breast size and shapely ass.

I am a Man I enjoy those things I watch porn, and read playboy (Well read is subjective) I like a pretty women but I want the WHOLE PICTURE not just a Pretty one.

Know what I mean?

Steel

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Post #: 24

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 8:57:43 AM

OmegaG

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Congradulations on your sobriety.

My view of attractiveness varies from the norm in the sense that I don't believe that the majority of people were born unattractive, I think unattractiveness stems from life choices.

Now for someone to become more then attractive to me takes more than outward appearence. And I think the same goes for most people. The hottest, most vapid sex toy will become mundane in due time (which is why I suggest they stay play toys) and the well endowed personality and intellect becomes highly beautiful.

This is why beauty is subjective, because it's not just about good genetics or symetrical features, it's about the compatibility in all things.

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Post #: 25

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 8:59:43 AM

colouredin

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Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Agreed. And adding that while there are certain people that are generally considered attractive (angelina jolie, brad pitt, etc..) that I also find attractive.. for my life there are quite a few people I've dated that I found attractive at first glance that most people wouldn't have found so. (sorry for the run on sentence)

I agree, differant people find differant things attractive, I have a deep rooted love dor David Tennent, John Cusack and Kevin spacey, people think thats odd but I dont think there really is a list of people who everyone should find attractive (which is good or else most of us would never get laid)

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Post #: 26

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 9:02:27 AM

OmegaG

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OK-- David Tennent has got a wicked sense of humor and is so spastic in Dr Who that I find him incredibly hot. Kevin Spacey play evil so very well and who wouldn't find that attractive? John Cusack, not so much but then I've never gotten a good feel for any personality there.

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Post #: 27

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 9:02:29 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

ooh..Kevin Spacey and John Cusak.. yummmmmm Tommy Lee Jones, too.
ETA: oh, Dr Who! Yummmy :)

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 3/21/2008 9:03:01 AM >

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Post #: 28

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 9:07:07 AM

colouredin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
John Cusack, not so much but then I've never gotten a good feel for any personality there.

Oh my gosh but but thats why I love him, In high fidelity, oh he is so so so yummy

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Post #: 29

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 9:51:57 AM

daddyncherry

Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
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In an actual relationship everything goes into it for me and one of those things is sexual and physical attraction.....But, even if i were physically attracted to someone, if they didn't have other qualities that i NEED to be there, then i wouldn't be sexually attracted to them.

That being said, i find my Master/Daddy to be absolutely beautiful soooo if we were to play with others i wouldn't need, or sometimes even want, to be physically or sexually attracted to them....Something about him sharing me with someone that i find less than appealing could be really fkin hot..atleast in theory.....except for vanillas, which i just have a harder time wrappng my head around.....so i guess that is the most yucky trait someone could have.

Hmmmm...maybe that could help me deal with that part....

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Post #: 30

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 11:04:31 AM

spinninsweetness

Posts: 477
Joined: 3/6/2008
From: London
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I think looks are important, only in relation to taste of the individual- for example, I've stated in my profile that I'm a BBW cos that doesnt appeal to most, yet I'm now getting messaged by those who are looking for BBW's, and wouldnt otherwise have replied.

I know online tis VERY easy to misrepresent your physical charecteristics, but sometimes you do see a profile picture and think seriously? thats the best picture thay could take?

And as for me looks arent important MUCH but like all of you there has to be a limit!

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Post #: 31

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 11:09:40 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
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I need the total package. My idea of beauty is different from others. I find beauty in the ability to stimulate my mind. Looks fade over time, but I do need to have some physical chemistry. The answer for this question is going to be different for every person.
As for a sub not being concerned about the Dom's looks....please! Everyone has a brain and should have the ability to use it. If a Dom wants me not to think or have an opinion then perhaps a blow-up doll would be in order!
Interesting question.........the respones will be fun to read.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 32

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 11:12:24 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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I can understand not being very attracted to the gap toothed quasimodo crowd. Which does not make you unsubmissive-just not attracted to lisping hump backs.

I find the same sort of issues-incredibly obese people, or those with asymetrical features are kind of hard to take. I'm probably missing some good things by having that feeling-but it's just not something I can get past.

I guess we just have our own quirks, and people are going to have to learn to deal with it.

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Post #: 33

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 11:14:14 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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Ah c'mon...quasimodo gives good head.

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Post #: 34

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 11:16:05 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: spinninsweetness

I think looks are important, only in relation to taste of the individual- for example, I've stated in my profile that I'm a BBW cos that doesnt appeal to most, yet I'm now getting messaged by those who are looking for BBW's, and wouldnt otherwise have replied.

I know online tis VERY easy to misrepresent your physical charecteristics, but sometimes you do see a profile picture and think seriously? thats the best picture thay could take?"

I am very honest in my profile in stating that I'm a BBW. My weight is correct....I have no reason to lie.

It was interesting that as soon as I put a photo up, people who told me I was too big for them are now contacting me saying how pretty they find me. It is a visual world and I guess I really shouldn't be surprised.
I now laugh when I get one of those emails saying that I don't look as big as I describe myself and reply with..."I'm tall and carry it all in my breasts....and brain!"

(in reply to spinninsweetness)

Post #: 35

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 11:16:54 AM

AMaster

Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Ok this is something that always made me wonder. I have often happened across a profile that states 'looks are unimportant' also I have had many a minger (sorry I know thats mean) approach me and when I have said sorry I dont find you attractive have been told that I am not a 'true' sub because I think thats important. I was just pondering how many people think it isnt. I dont mean simply as play partners etc I mean as a long term D/s relationship.

Also it seems to go only one way, it seems that the Dominant has to find the sub attractive but that the sub shouldnt be so concerned with such things. Maybe I am wrong but I was just wondering what others views on this are.

You have every right to seek a person who is attractive to you.

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Post #: 36

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 11:25:16 AM

spinninsweetness

Posts: 477
Joined: 3/6/2008
From: London
Status: offline

Well as to the picture I'll have to see- I put it up today, so I'm waiting to see if its accepted! I have so far had good comments, about my eyes....

So much of who people are is tied up to their looks, and their self-perception.... so far my worst messages have been lke- you seem nice, shame you're big! Well then dont write!

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 37

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 11:25:27 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Ah c'mon...quasimodo gives good head.

Yep and now I know why you kept walking so oddly and using that weird voice.

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Post #: 38

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 11:25:28 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

It is a visual world and I guess I really shouldn't be surprised.

exactly. The appealing visuals are going to vary from person to person.

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Post #: 39

RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 11:27:42 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I find it amusing when a profile says, "I'm an attractive man...", because they usually are NOT someone I find attractive. Even though I usually claim to be shallow, in truth, I cannot really say that. Once we get past the mental connection, I find myself attracted to strong hands, and "real" faces that look like they've lived life, and a nice smile, and twinkly eyes. My ex husband is the only person I've ever been serious about that had a really "good" body, if you want go with stereotypes (very muscular, had been a personal trainer in the past, very little body fat). When we first met I told him very clearly he was not my "type" (yeah, I should have listened to myself on that one).

Cali

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Post #: 40

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