RE: Sexual attraction and D/s

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 3:26:11 PM

MasterDarell

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I don't think anyone has the right to say you are or aren't a true sub because you value attractiveness. True is just some arbitrary value statement, as long as you realize that you are sexually or psychologically submissive to others you are a sub.

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 3:33:38 PM

Real_Trouble

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For me, I have sort of a two part dance that matters here; someone has to be both physically and mentally attractive enough to me for there to be interest. If they clear both of those hurdles, then the amount beyond each one of them they extend, essentially, is probably about how attracted to them I am.

But brains without at least some looks or looks without brains do not appeal to me; I demand both.

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 3:40:05 PM

lusciouslips19

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I think a Dom saying you arent a "true Sub" if attractiveness matters to you, probably means he is not a "twue Dom". It does mean he likes to lash out and is immature when his ego is wounded. More than once I have said no thank you and gotten back,"f**k you bitch" or" phew, my buddy put me up to it. I think you're really homely." Or they called me a dog, mentioned how big my nose is. Occasionally, I would say, " darn, cause I really wanted you and was just nervous, I was about to change my mind". I also give a standard reply...

Sour grapes make Bad WHINE.
(Not a typo)

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 4:02:03 PM

petpete

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Hey luscious!! how are ya?? Anyway back to the topic, dear colourdin on the profiles it maybe that the D's are the ones who are heard shouting and demanding but the truth is that us subbies have always the last say

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 4:46:41 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: petpete

Hey luscious!! how are ya?? Anyway back to the topic, dear colourdin on the profiles it maybe that the D's are the ones who are heard shouting and demanding but the truth is that us subbies have always the last say

Hey petpete!

*WINKS*

and amen to what ya said Bro!

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 3/21/2008 4:47:27 PM >

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 6:18:25 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Sexual attraction is important, but for me the brain is the most attractive part. I was quite interested in one of my current men before I even saw his picture, because his intelligence and personality got me going. Luckily he isn't hideous!

Like the other ladies, I am attracted to beauty, but if there's nothing to back it up....well, it's not worth the time or energy. I was trying to think if I had a physical "type", and I really don't. Who I find sexually attractive and who I just plain like to look at aren't necessarily the same thing.

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 6:25:14 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I think it's rude to say "I'm turning you down because you're unattractive". That is going to hurt and it's unnecessary. A simple no thanks, or there isn't sufficient compatibility sorry, is more than enough.

I wouldn't say you were being not a true sub for needing chemistry, I would say that you needed a refresher course in manners.

That is true but do you have any idea how many men have said, "how so" or "why not". When I have said, I didn't think we are compatible? Too many to count. I don't know what it is about the male ego that would lead him to question me after I said that? I tell them either."do you really wan to know that" or "no, It is not a prerequisite that I tell you my reasons".

Anybody who doesn't accept a no, but instead whines "why not" deserves what he gets. But that's different to me then saying it to them unasked.

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 7:44:44 PM

BossyShoeBitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

Steel, I think that saying that looks mean nothing is a bit disingenuous, they may not be your top priority, but I bet that they factor in at some level.

Pretend that the woman in question looks haggard and old yet you find out she's 25, she's missing 3 visible teeth and has cavities in others, she is underfed, has hollows under her eyes, sunken cheeks and a jaundice complection. She slouches when she walks, her hair is matted and greesey and her clothes are ill fitting and stained. There is blood around her nail beds where she's bitten her nails and cuticles too far down, an oozind wound on her knee where she feel and didn't take care of it and you begin to suspect that her unmaintained pussy hairs may have crabs.

Now we aren't talking about someone who might have a nose larger then you like, or has a hair color or body type you don't prefer. Looks not only indicate preference, they indicate health, attitude and self-esteem. People judge what's going on on the inside by how the outside is presented. Looks matter.

Come on now Omega, painting that picture just wasn't fair.. UGH!
I think the OP was talking about potential partners that one doesn't find aesthetically pleasing or has no chemistry with, NOT THE POSTER CHILD FOR HOMELESS PEOPLE...For goodness sakes! lol

< Message edited by BossyShoeBitch -- 3/21/2008 7:45:45 PM >

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 9:06:47 PM

greenearth21

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I have to be physically attracted (in varying degrees) to someone. However, thats just for my dirty thoughts. REalistically yes looks do matter but how their brain works is more important. Who they really are and what they are about supersedes everythign else in my opinion. So, even though the physical is good for the eye, the internal is good for the soul all around (for me). If i have to have my eyes closed or have the lights off when knockin boots...then i'm def doing the wrong thing...that hasnt happend yet.
And i get the "you arent a true sub" but its usually in regard to my age preference. Which is all good...no one likes to get their feelings hurt...but if they do...suck it up and move on.

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 10:04:24 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Frankly, I think it will always come down to the eyes of the beholder thing..I mean face it, if we were all attracted to the same qualities in appearances, then only a chosen few would be desired and the rest of us could all go hang...but luckily we all have differing WOW factors...There have been a few men in my life that outwardly would be very easy to overlook in a crowd..UNTIL...you knew them..then BAM! you just know that every woman is out there secretly plotting to steal him away..:0)...And to the one who thinks Steel is disingenuous...(poor memory)...9 times out of 10 I have met a Dominant that I never asked for a picture, a description of clothing or some feature to look for..but other than that, if I am meeting them ...then it is because they have captured my attention for an altogether other reason..(varying reasons, but a reason)..and have always been quite content with their appearance...why did I not hook up with these Dominants?..because there were again varying reasons as to why it would not work out and it never had anything to do with appearance...Tempting

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 10:19:25 PM

junecleaver

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Attraction is such a complex thing for me. I am attracted to power, so if I perceive someone as powerful then I might be attracted to them whether they would be considered physically attractive. I have definitely dated and swooned over men who were not so physically attractive because I was essentially putty in their oh so masculine and powerful hands. But I've also gone out with boys because I thought they were cute. Attraction is a lot more complex than blue eyes+blonde hair+six pack=hot.

I wouldn't date someone who I was not attracted to but there are so many different things about a person that might attract me. Make sense?

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/21/2008 11:03:15 PM

Kaze

Posts: 9
Joined: 4/9/2005
From: Brandon, FL
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I'm with JuneCleaver on this. What attracts us sexually is always going to vary from person to person. If looks are a factor to one, it's not necessarily to the other of course. We all know that. And ,I believe, you're never wrong or right in that choice either.

For me, I'm attracted to power as well, and yes I will admit they have to look nice to a degree. But to truly get me going, there will have to be brains and charisma. It's all mental to me. Sexual attraction begins and ends there. If I'm turned on then honestly the rest is gravy...

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/22/2008 3:19:55 AM

Justme696

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I hardly find any super models sexual attractive....they look good..but I don't know them.
perhaps that is an example how it works for me/

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/24/2008 6:31:05 AM

OmegaG

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

Steel, I think that saying that looks mean nothing is a bit disingenuous, they may not be your top priority, but I bet that they factor in at some level.

Pretend that the woman in question looks haggard and old yet you find out she's 25, she's missing 3 visible teeth and has cavities in others, she is underfed, has hollows under her eyes, sunken cheeks and a jaundice complection. She slouches when she walks, her hair is matted and greesey and her clothes are ill fitting and stained. There is blood around her nail beds where she's bitten her nails and cuticles too far down, an oozind wound on her knee where she feel and didn't take care of it and you begin to suspect that her unmaintained pussy hairs may have crabs.

Now we aren't talking about someone who might have a nose larger then you like, or has a hair color or body type you don't prefer. Looks not only indicate preference, they indicate health, attitude and self-esteem. People judge what's going on on the inside by how the outside is presented. Looks matter.

Come on now Omega, painting that picture just wasn't fair.. UGH!
I think the OP was talking about potential partners that one doesn't find aesthetically pleasing or has no chemistry with, NOT THE POSTER CHILD FOR HOMELESS PEOPLE...For goodness sakes! lol

ahh, but I was replying to a person who said that looks had nothing to do with his decision making pradigm. Looks are far more complex then an asthetically pleasing nose, it's in the presentation, the hygene, the long term wear and tear that they have chosen to endure, it's all part of the package.

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RE: Sexual attraction and D/s - 3/24/2008 7:47:08 AM

beltainefaerie

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For me, attraction has way more to do with chemistry than physical appearance. I have been deeply attracted to people as I got to know them, when I would not have given them a second glance just based on appearance, if we were strangers. I have also met people who were absolutely gorgeous for whom I felt no spark of attraction at all. Other people have different experiences. (Of course it works out well when both things click too, as others have stated, where you think someone is gorgeous AND have that click, but for me there is a huge range of things I might find sexy and appealing)

In fact my companion can't play with my Master because she isn't attracted to him. She adores him and they make great friends, but the scenes just aren't charged for her, because she isn't physically attracted to him.

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