Stephann
Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
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Sex.
Ok, Bucko, we needs to have a chat. Seems you've been reading too many message boards, and haven't poked your head out your window, nevermind visited a dungeon outside of World of Warcraft, so let's address a few fallacies shall we?
ORIGINAL: mslecuir
There seems to be a debate of sorts going on within this site about if sex is a part of BDSM or not. I will add my 2 cents here. In my professional opinion, true BDSM does NOT involve sex.
I think that's the value adjusted for inflation. It's cool that you think stuff, but advertising yourself as a 'professional' BDSMer says a fair bit about your interest here. Some people are professional musicians, some enjoy it for fun. Being paid for what you do, doesn't mean your elite opinion spewed on a message board is remotely important, nevermind more important than the thousands of other netizens who meander here.
For proof of this go to your local BDSM group. You should not see any type of sex going on.
Well, fuck me. Our back ally in one of the most elite dungeons in LA regularly has men and women engaging in consensual sex. I've seen my own girl perform sexual activities no fewer than five times, in the four months we've been visiting. I think she's had more sex with women there, than I have.
I concur that adding BDSM to a relationship is a wonderful way to add some variety to a relationship. But it should not be added to a casual relationship for the purpose of initiating sex.
Because your mommy said so?
Trust is the issue. How can you truly trust someone that you hardly know?
Why should we trust your elite opinion here, then?
Yes, there are many out there who use BDSM as a vehicle to get in someones pants. You know the type.
I sure do, I have to watch him put his contact lenses on in the morning, and usually brush his hair.
This is just an ulterial motive and not a true interest in BDSM.
"No results found for ulterial. Did you mean ulteriorly (in dictionary) or Literal (in encyclopedia)?."
So if I wanna spank a girl, it's gotta be because I don't really want to be fucking her?
I was very hardline with this doctorine when I was Pro. I had to be...I was not, under any circumstances a sex worker.
So, you're fine with dressing up like a girl, and spanking men for cash, but you're too good to work as a sex worker?
No sex was involved period. On the other hand, once I found out how much more enjoyable sex was when you experimented with some BDSM with someone you cared about, it changed much for me.
Fabulous.
I realized that in this time of my life my BDSM career was much too impersonal and lacked the intimacy that I desperately needed.
Nosce te Ipsum. Know Thyself.
I realize that some can draw the line and can play at local groups and change up in the bedroom. This is something that I do not do anymore. I have no desire to do so and that is my personal choice. Hence what it says in my profile..."I do NOT engage in BDSM activities with anyone that I'm not in a relationship with". I know that this may seem incongruent to some...but it is my personal choice.
Dude, if you want to dress up like a hobbit and dance on a pile of headless rubber duckies in a monsoon while singing Micheal Jackson tunes, you get on with your bad self.
Don't forget that respect is a big part of any relationship, friendly or intimate. So who is right and who is wrong? You be the judge.
I didn't need your permission to judge this tripe.
Hopefully this will generate some meaningfull discussion and not negative banter.
Since when did you hold the monopoly on vim?
Remember to always be respectful enough to listen to others views and to try to walk a mile in their shoes before reacting.
So don't throw stones at the slow kid, sure.
Consider this a friendly suggestion: we're happy to listen to you share your experiences and perspectives. Try to dictate to us as if we're all gathered round cross legged, bright eyed, and clueless, and you'll likely find yourself learning a lesson in humility.
Stephan
_____________________________
Nosce Te Ipsum
"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer
Men: Find a Woman here
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RE: Sex? or not? My 2 cents... - 
Profile
Maybe those groups did not get the official rule book. 
Thank you... bravo... well said... and, would you pretty please pass me a tissue? 
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