quote:

maybe the OP should define sex.
Are we talking the Clinton version
or what?

quote:

ow! Thanks for all the replies! Very interesting to say the least! I have to admit that it's been quite a few years since I went to a major play/fetish party in NYC, TO, Detroit or Chicago (late 80's, early 90's) and nothing went on back then. Or at our local groups meetings in Buffalo/Rochester. I guess we were much more behind the times than L.A.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord

quote:

ORIGINAL: mslecuir

There seems to be a debate of sorts going on within this site about if sex is a part of BDSM or not.

A heated debate between only the twuest of all the dom/mes. Right now I am in the lead but am being closely chaffed by sweetwenchie... (sorry sweet, not your post)

quote:

 I will add my 2 cents here. In my professional opinion, true BDSM does NOT involve sex.

uhhh.... what profession was this... prostitution? nuh... that would be illegal... maybe it was... OH dammit. I see, You are in the running for "the TWUEST of the twue". Sorry let me step aside for those playing catchup
 

quote:

For proof of this go to your local BDSM group. You should not see any type of sex going on.

I think this has been covered by all the twue non sex having Dungeon visiting types...

quote:

 I concur that adding BDSM to a relationship is a wonderful way to add some variety to a relationship.

adding variety? I would have thought variety was several things not just more than one of the same thing. By your presetnation BDSM is only one thing and can only be done one TWUE way so I am thinking perhaps that you might need to clarify this in your OP. (next time)

quote:

But it should not be added to a casual relationship for the purpose of initiating sex.

well my casual relationships are added to my BDSM so how could I get this one backwards?

quote:

 Trust is the issue. How can you truly trust someone that you hardly know?

Would this someone be like someone dispensing ridiculous ass generalized gobbldygook about twuth with THE context of their pretentions, or just some other some one?

quote:


Yes, there are many out there who use BDSM as a vehicle to get in someones pants. You know the type. 

Yes as a matter of fact we do. And I think most of us have found a place to discuss such things... and even look for new pants to get in... that would be at http//www.CollarMe.com.

quote:

 This is just an ulterial motive and not a true interest in BDSM. I was very hardline with this doctorine when I was Pro. I had to be...I was not, under any circumstances a sex worker. No sex was involved period.

sounds like a bad night, wasted money and generally scary.

quote:

 On the other hand, once I found out how much more enjoyable sex was when you experimented with some BDSM with someone you cared about, it changed much for me.

An awakening. Sounds like you may have had some difficulty finding some one who was a "TWUE" Domme's partner. I am thinking this is a common problem. Please share what it was about the changes within your "TWUENESS" that allowed room for any one to get to know you well enough to care for you.
 

quote:

 I realized that in this time of my life my BDSM career was much too impersonal and lacked the intimacy that I desperately needed.

I am thinking it was more about not actually getting laid...
 

quote:

I realize that some can draw the line and can play at local groups and change up in the bedroom. This is something that I do not do anymore. I have no desire to do so and that is my personal choice.

Not a sign of "twue" dommeness. ALL Dommes must comply with THE BOOK of Rules. As previously stated in your OP. (should's and should'nts)
 

quote:

Hence what it says in my profile..."I do NOT engage in BDSM activities with anyone that I'm not in a relationship with". I know that this may seem incongruent to some...but it is my personal choice.

Again with the non compliance of shoulds and shouldn'ts.
 

quote:

 Don't forget that respect is a big part of any relationship, friendly or intimate.

Respect is very definately lacking from this OP.

quote:

 So who is right and who is wrong?

You are wrong. If only because you posted this ridiculous thread as gospel.

quote:


You be the judge. 

Sounds like this position has already been filled.
 

quote:

Hopefully this will generate some meaningfull discussion and not negative banter.

Meaningful discussion... check.  Negative banter... Check. You might try starting out with out insulting everyone's individuality before starting your next "true" search.

quote:


Remember to always be respectful enough to listen to others views and to try to walk a mile in their shoes before reacting.
 
Ms Le Cuir

My boots fit me just fine. And We listen to "true" whinning all the time. I think I am done for today.

quote:

ORIGINAL: puppy4owner

quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord

My boots fit me just fine. And We listen to "true" whinning all the time. I think I am done for today.

oh man,that was great-do mine,do mine

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie
Personally, while i enjoy non sexual playing when i am single and unattached, when i am taken i could not and simply would not want to try and separate the two.  Greedy little wench that i am, i want it all... play, pain, sex, love, sensation, mental stimulation, phyical stimulation...

i cannot say who is "right or wrong", as far as i am concerned it is whatever is "right" for each person and their own dynamics.

edited to play with myself, and to correct dumbass typos

quote:

ORIGINAL: petitespitfire64

*sighs dreamily*
Stephann...will you marry me and be my baby daddy?

Darlin, I would, but I moved away from Michigan to get away from that conservative nightmare

I do agree, my experiences are that most dungeons usually have some sort of rules regarding who may have sex and how.  There's no written rule at our dungeon about men, but men having sex with other people (male or female) in the main room, or masturbating in front of others is generally considered unacceptable.  It's a gender bias, women are allowed to pretty much do whatever they want.

Having said that, the no sex thing has more to do with BDSMers aren't automatically voyeurs or exhibitionists.  If sex can or can't happen, it's usually the perogative of the host.  If the host says "fuckfest" then I'd figure that sex is ok.  It's the assumption that we don't have sex in a venue, because it's not permitted by the community at large that I have a beef with.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to petitespitfire64)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bound2One

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie
Personally, while i enjoy non sexual playing when i am single and unattached, when i am taken i could not and simply would not want to try and separate the two.  Greedy little wench that i am, i want it all... play, pain, sex, love, sensation, mental stimulation, phyical stimulation...

i cannot say who is "right or wrong", as far as i am concerned it is whatever is "right" for each person and their own dynamics.

edited to play with myself, and to correct dumbass typos

Awww... I wanna play with myself too!  I'm saving it up for Master on Friday, though. 

As sweetwenchie said above, and much better than I can, I'm greedy too.