RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you?

RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (Full Version)

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Poetryinpain -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 12:36:56 PM)
I'm with littlebit on this one. Uh - not literally - I meant I agree with littlebit. However, having gone through periods of celibacy - no sex and no BDSM, I know it's possible. Not desirable, but possible.

subsezM -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 1:32:06 PM)
Yes i would stay in the lifestyle. The actuall physical act of sex itself is important, but there are times when it just isn't possible, Master has many ways of giving sexual pleasure without the actual act itself as i have with Him. Yes Bdsm is basically sexual but it is also a mental attitude for me and i just love it when Master can bring me to orgasm without even touching me[;)]

daddyncherry -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 1:34:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann I think I read the question differently. I read it more as "if you were physically incapable of having sex, would you still pursue a BDSM or D/s relationship? Stephan Ahhhh, in that case.... Yes i would if i were physically incapable of having sex....because i do get soooo much out of the many other facets of the relationship. That being said, if i personally was incapable, then i wouldn't expect him to be monogamous, and though i would still love and want to serve him if he were incapable, i couldn't go without sexual activities of some sort with someone.

Stephann -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 1:38:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddyncherry Ahhhh, in that case.... Yes i would if i were physically incapable of having sex....because i do get soooo much out of the many other facets of the relationship. That being said, if i personally was incapable, then i wouldn't expect him to be monogamous, and though i would still love and want to serve him if he were incapable, i couldn't go without sexual activities of some sort with someone. You mean, as opposed to right now, where you don't expect him to be monogamous? [;)]. And hey! I thought you were supposed to be tanning right now!! Stephan

sublibrarian -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 2:52:44 PM)
BDSM is inherently sexual for me. I can't see me having a purely BDSM relationship without sex, although I can perhaps see a given scene without sex (but I'd be craving the sex). As others have pointed out, sex isn't just penis-in-vagina - there's a myriad of sexual acts one can engage in besides that. If my partner couldn't have intercourse, I would hope that we'd find other ways to be sexual with each other.

daddysliloneds -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 3:30:39 PM)
yes

Real_Trouble -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 3:37:13 PM)
For me, the two are inexorably intertwined. I'm not interested in one without the other, in either direction, in the same way I prefer my cars to have both engines and wheels. Either on its own is necessary but not sufficient.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 3:39:22 PM)
I do, with Angel. Our realtionship is mostly nonsexual and always has been. DV

TheLookingGirl -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 3:44:20 PM)
I don't know that I would have as much of an interest without sex. Like I said in the other thread...it's a sexual thign for me...so taking out the sex...means its just a thing. Nope. Probably wouldn't stay. I dont like these questions about getting rid of sex. Let's never do that.

Gleegal67 -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 5:06:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: azropedntied Aweee shark bait thats so sweet of you to post that .. [:)] Sir, I always speak with truth and from the heart. [:D]

daddyncherry -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 5:18:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stephann quote: ORIGINAL: daddyncherry Ahhhh, in that case.... Yes i would if i were physically incapable of having sex....because i do get soooo much out of the many other facets of the relationship. That being said, if i personally was incapable, then i wouldn't expect him to be monogamous, and though i would still love and want to serve him if he were incapable, i couldn't go without sexual activities of some sort with someone. You mean, as opposed to right now, where you don't expect him to be monogamous? [;)]. And hey! I thought you were supposed to be tanning right now!! Stephan Well i was going with the example...i don't do monogamy, it's not my thang anyway and i don't expect him to be monogamous.......and i was tanning, i forgot to change my away message...OOPS.[:)]

beltainefaerie -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 5:21:57 PM)
For me there are two possible questions here. If you are asking could I give up sex entirely and just be satisfied by wiitwd, my answer is "not likely". I am WAY too happy being a slut. However, if the question is whether I find wiiwd satisfying in and of itself, without sex being a component, my answer is yes. For a few years I had BDSM experiences where no overtly sexual contact was allowed beyond breast play. I couldn't even be completely naked according to our contact. I only had sex with my husband, and my dominants only had sex with their respective partners. This stayed true for the first year of my relationship with my Master. In the second year, that has shifted, but it had everything to do with the evolving comfort of all people in our relationships. I could have been happy being his non-sexual slave forever as long as I was having sex with my husband. I am delighted at the shift and very, very happy being sexually useful too, but I could have served non-sexually forever as long as I was making him happy. I hope that answered your question, whichever was the original intent. (sorry to be so long-winded)

Arrrchibald -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 5:34:57 PM)
I would, and have been, in BDSM relationships with no sex. With std prevalence increasing exponentially, I've yet to meet a woman who's worth the risk.

MasterWilliam55 -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 5:44:58 PM)
We are all hard wired for sex, and the BDSM world tends to attract those more hard wired than others. God knows we have enough devices around to replace what's missing with the real thing. I know though, that nothing ever replaces the "real thing", and in this case I would support my partner in helping her achieve her needs. I know of too many sexless relationships both vanilla and D/s that have survived a difficulty such as this. I hope, I would care enough and understand enough, as others have, to allow my sub/partner to fully experience sexual fullfilment. I would only hope she returns to me for the rest. LOL, I'm not there yet folks.

chellekitty -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 6:11:51 PM)
i am a sexual being - would i give up sex to enter a monogamous relationship with someone? no...that is part of compatibility for me... would i give up sex because someone with me became unable to have sex, for whatever reason? i don't know..i haven't come across that yet, i would hope that they would still want me to be sexually satisfied, however that would happen... if i didn't get to make that choice and i was the one that became unable to have sex for whatever reason, would i leave the lifestyle or a relationship based on the D/s or M/s? no...for me this lifestyle is not about sexual intercourse, i get my satisfaction from authority and service, i get most of my lifestyle sexual gratification from sexual service and masochism...and i can do that few and far between - i know, i have been for quite a while now...(and plain ole masturbation lol)...so if you took the act of sex out of the picture for me, the only difference from that and the year 2007 would be the lack of masturbation...and that doesn't do much for me in the first place, just scratches an itch...lol... chelle

camille65 -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 6:23:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beltainefaerie For me there are two possible questions here. If you are asking could I give up sex entirely and just be satisfied by wiitwd, my answer is "not likely". I am WAY too happy being a slut. However, if the question is whether I find wiiwd satisfying in and of itself, without sex being a component, my answer is yes. (sorry to be so long-winded) Oh don't be sorry for being long winded, you're right I think I was asking two questions without really realising it. You hit on what I was asking. Right now I'm in the latter. It isn't by choice which is why I was thinking (yah maybe dwelling) about it and struggling with it. So much of the time I am content, WIITWD does fill me. The problem lies in that other small bit when I'm not happy, it becomes hard to deal with and I question everything. I'm really glad you posted.

kiwisub12 -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 6:24:10 PM)
For me a really good beating with a cane - thuddy - is better than vaginal penetration. My Sir has on occasion asked if I wanted an orgasm as a reward for enduring an intense session, and there are times when that would take away from the focus for me - the pain, the willingness to take the pain and the love involved. So, HELL yes I would stay- and fight for the privilege!

LadyHibiscus -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 6:25:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl quote: f you could not have physical sex would you remain in the same lifestyle i am intersexed...as such the genitalia does not work. no chance of ever having sex. therefore i am just lugging around...cause there has been ZERO interest in me for the reason that i cant offer sex. my profile is setup in a way that sex is not an issue. i get ZERO replies. gee i wonder why....its all about sex sex sex. so i'll never find a Mistress. 10 years and counting... maybe i should be a pro dom? hmmmmmmm Sweetie, if you lived closer to me, I would be all over your skinny ass!

ophelialocke -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 7:38:24 PM)
I have had it for extended periods. No play even. Being owned with no play OR sex. It was hard - but it forced me to think about what my essential nature is/was. I would do it again if it came up. There is a sad but meditative quality to it that I found some clarity in at the time.

CrazyC -> RE: BDSM w/o sex. Would you? (3/26/2008 9:02:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady The question doesn't clarify enough (for me), the details of the situation. If I were in a committed relationship and something occurred making ALL sexual activity impossible, I would not necessarily leave, but even then, there would have to be a great deal of discussion about how that new situation was going to impact us both. I would not enter into a BDSM relationship that would not involve sexual contact. However, I am also one of those people who won't have BDSM contact without a relationship. I don't do "play". Given that, to me it goes hand in hand. I intend to be in a relationship, the relationship should be intimate. If I were in a relationship with someone who decided that they no longer wanted to engage in sexual activity with me? First I would hope that there could be a discussion to find out why that was, and whether it could be fixed. Barring that, I would leave at the speed of sound, because to me, a huge part of the relationship would be destroyed for me. I guess the best way to explain it would be that. She actually has gone a couple years without sex because he was in the military. She infact had no decire for it during that time. She love the adrinaline rush, sub space, and the power exchange that is happening in her marriage. No of this is sexual, and as long as she gets this she is happy.

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