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RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 12:29:22 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		Not sure which of your two posts to add this to, because it sort of covers both in the end i moved it there though.. :) 

And  i dont know if this will help or not, it is simply a different POV but in our relationship we are going in a different direction. A little back round: we have both been in D/s relationships that have incorporated training programs in the past, and it was great for what it was, and yet we wanted more out of it then simply the basics of behavior mods, protocols, and domestic/sexual service. 

We wanted something that took a larger world view. And  something to celebrate the milestones, and to honor the journey.

What i would ask you, is are you interested in world contribution? volunteering with kids, animals, or d/s out reach? or anything of that nature?

Also what ideas have you come up with to honor and celebrate milestones as you achieve them? i think reward is IMO is a very important aspect to training programs.

A little more back round: I live by the samurai code, for me having this code is deeply fulfilling and something i strive to be worthy of on a daily basis. I had sworn my oath to my sword before i met him, but as our relationship grew, we both realized that this was an integral part of who i am and what i offer him and what i could potentially offer the world.

in short the code is: COURAGE. ABUNDANCE. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. HONOR. KNOWLEDGE. HONESTY. CONTRIBUTION. COMMITMENT. TRUST. FOCUS

About my reward: I personally am not big into body mods, just not a me thing, but i do really want a carving on my chest of the Samurai symbol, that would become a blackened raised kanji scar.

So as part of my service to him, i have to do a task on each one of those  10 words, (something worthy of me ie; really hard and a stretch of my comfort zones) before he will cut this symbol into me.

What this gives me is a deeper appreciation of my code, and a deeper connection with him, it also allows me to go deeper in to the yummier aspects of "training" and have accountability, and reward built in.

I find this very nourishing....we both do....he likes me in his service because he likes me to serve the world at his direction, as an extension of his own arms...if that makes sense?

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 12:43:30 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Morning Folks,

I'm sitting here with a bullet list of about 14 different items, with "Slave Training Plan" at the top.  So far in the bullets, I have:

  • Journal
  • Exercise
  • Diet
  • Sexual
  • Service
  • Career
  • Education
  • Spiritual
For dominants, what else would you list?  For submissive types, what would you anticipate on there?  Just curious.

Stephan


As a submissive type, I find that many would be anticipated to a certain degree. Probably the anticipation I'd feel is a mixture of puzzlement and curiosity. The one issue I know I'd have a problem with is Spiritual. My thoughts is my spirituality is too personal to chance the fact my Dom may decide that my spiritual path should be akin to his


_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
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(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 12:45:27 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

We see the results of it's failure or non-existence in relationships on here every single day and it is obviously an issue that does require some training or whatever you'd like to call it for a lot of people...... myself included!

Communication


You may very well have been a fly on our wall yesterday.  Part of the motivation for this Training Plan would be we're realizing there are easier, more efficiant ways for us to communicate.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 12:47:05 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		hi bear,

maybe what stephann meant was to incorporate some sort of spiritual pratice? not changing your spiritual beliefs, but supporting you in finding a daily or weekly nourishment from them?

this could look like incorporating meditation into your day if you are a buddist, or holding you accountable to go to church on sundays if that is what feeds your soul?

thats what i read it to mean anyway.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 12:47:57 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

As a submissive type, I find that many would be anticipated to a certain degree. Probably the anticipation I'd feel is a mixture of puzzlement and curiosity. The one issue I know I'd have a problem with is Spiritual. My thoughts is my spirituality is too personal to chance the fact my Dom may decide that my spiritual path should be akin to his



I expected someone would mention this.

For my part, addressing Spirituality doesn't mean dictating religion.  It means I have a very deep seated belief that spirituality plays a vital role in emotional health.  I don't expect her to believe what I believe (though we are indeed fortunate to have compatible spirtual goals, as my last slave was agnostic) but I do expect her to explore what she believes in her own manner.  If she told me she wanted to be Muslim or Hindu or Discordian, I'd support her efforts so long as I felt the values she was embracing from that religion were healthy.

Edit: Yes, Amy, that's more or less it.

As a tangent, I suppose it's worth mentioning (and probably threadworthy of itself) that I would never permit my slave's spiritual beliefs to inhibit her service.  If in giving her a command that she refused on the grounds that the command directly violates her religious code, I would consider if the command was important enough to keep the slave or not.  Religious incompatiblity would probably be a dealbreaker for me.

Regards,

Stephan


< Message edited by Stephann -- 3/26/2008 12:51:45 PM >

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Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 12:54:00 PM   
WalterRego


Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		Interesting stuff, this, but it's really more of a training List. Not a Plan. What does the Plan for the training consist of?

Do you just say to your slave: "Keep a Journal"," Exercise daily", "Cut down on fats"?    Because I would see that as a list of requirements, without a plan as to how to train your slave to do those things .

Would  you gradually increase rewards for standards met;  or administer punishment for standards not met? Offer incentives? Praise, criticism? Say: "Keep a Journal starting with one minimum  5 sentence paragraph a day. After two weeks go to two paragraphs. Check your punctuation."

I've never been trained in this sort of stuff, (then again I've never been a slave). Just curious how these things work.

< Message edited by WalterRego -- 3/26/2008 12:55:42 PM >

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 12:55:35 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		And which I had figured you was referring to. I had assumed that was to mean a sub having to adopt their Dom's spiritual beliefs. My appologies for the misunderstanding.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 1:04:48 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Well before you can make a plan WalterRego don't you have to have the goals in mind?
If you don't know where you are going any road at all will do.

So the plan almost has to start with the list of goals. After the goals have been identified then the planning of how to get from here to there can start. The things you mention are pretty close to milestones (short term standards), that mark progress. They are also usefull for many folks.

I also figured Stephan was on the track of I don't dictate what the spiritual path will be, but I can dictate that the slave spend at least X amount of time studying towards an identified goal on their spiritual path.



(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 1:08:56 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WalterRego

Interesting stuff, this, but it's really more of a training List. Not a Plan. What does the Plan for the training consist of?

Do you just say to your slave: "Keep a Journal"," Exercise daily", "Cut down on fats"?    Because I would see that as a list of requirements, without a plan as to how to train your slave to do those things .

Would  you gradually increase rewards for standards met;  or administer punishment for standards not met? Offer incentives? Praise, criticism? Say: "Keep a Journal starting with one minimum  5 sentence paragraph a day. After two weeks go to two paragraphs. Check your punctuation."

I've never been trained in this sort of stuff, (then again I've never been a slave). Just curious how these things work.


To be fair, I was eliciting ideas for the Plan.  I'm a whole plan, top down kinda guy.  I draw up general plans, and start cutting those general topics into pieces.  So it goes something like:

Mind
Body
Spirit

Under Body, I'd scribble in Diet, Exercise, Sex.  Under Diet, I'd list "Vegetables (she loves them, I haven't been buying enough of them) Water (she doesn't drink enough, find ways to increase the amount, I know she hates tap water, buy small bottles of water), seafood (she loves seafood, buy more, plan more meals using it), etc etc etc.

I'm not trying to set up a system where I'm constantly punishing her.  If I have to spend half my day beating her for infractions, I'm using half of both our day on negative activities and preventing her from performing the rest of her duties.

Hope that fills in the blanks for you.

Stephan

< Message edited by Stephann -- 3/26/2008 1:25:22 PM >

_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to WalterRego)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 1:24:16 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I find this very nourishing....we both do....he likes me in his service because he likes me to serve the world at his direction, as an extension of his own arms...if that makes sense?


It makes a beautiful kind of sense.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 1:41:11 PM   
roughleather


Posts: 232
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline 		Well, first get the spam links out of your postings.

Is this for real, or one of those lame fantasies like "slave contracts".

Training a sub can be fun. Here are a few things I've done.
  • Work on her posture. Make her walk around with a book balanced on her head. That's a good exercise to give her the look of a proud, trained sub.
  • Take her for a hike on a hot day. Make her wear something a bit too skimpy, like very short cutoffs and a ratty tank top. Make it a tough enough hike that she has to work at it, so she stops being self-concious about showing too much.  Pour a water bottle over her as a reward.
  • Sit her down nude, and look into her eyes. Look over her body  She has to look straight back and not lower her eyes. A slave is not allowed shame. If she breaks eye contact before you do, a few whacks with a crop will teach her to do it right. Thereafter, she's expected to meet the eyes of anyone who looks her over in public. They'll flinch from the eye contact, and she'll feel her sexual power. This arouses most women.
  • Train her to respond to hand signals. Hold out your hand, palm down. The top of her head must not rise above your hand. Without touching her, force her to her knees. Then down to the floor. Let her up to her knees, then force her down to the floor. Then force her to push her face into the floor. Let her rise to a stand and release her. Then ask her how it felt, and talk over her feelings. Teach her a few more hand signals which she must instantly obey. Don't use them too often, but often enough to remind her.
So those are a few slave training tricks. This is a head game. You're forcing her outside her normal behavior patterns to make her a proud, shameless, obedient slut.

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 2:15:37 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Training is instruction. Instruction is for those who know they don't already know everything.


Training is not just for instruction... it's also about perfecting or improving a given skill/talent.  How many times did the Allies trained and practice specific manuvers that prepared them for D-Day.  How many times did the Astronauts practice and trained for shuttle landings in a simulator.  How many times did Gold medal Olympic Athelets train in their given event before they competed and won their event.

Training is for anyone that desires to learn, improve, perfect a given skill/talent.  Only an Idiot would consider training just for the weak.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 2:24:24 PM   
derfrewop


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/10/2007
From: Vancouver
Status: offline
quote:

But I like the idea of adding "fun."


I agree with Tracy. Every single one of those items can easily become extremely boring, frustrating and annoying. Look at it this way, none of the items would be on the list if they were areas she naturally enjoys. If you are planning on having her work on all of those things, planning how to keep it fun or at least planning a way to let loose when it gets too much should be a real high priority.




_____________________________

I only flog good girls. I don't reward bad behavior.

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 2:35:35 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: derfrewop

quote:

But I like the idea of adding "fun."


I agree with Tracy. Every single one of those items can easily become extremely boring, frustrating and annoying. Look at it this way, none of the items would be on the list if they were areas she naturally enjoys. If you are planning on having her work on all of those things, planning how to keep it fun or at least planning a way to let loose when it gets too much should be a real high priority.


On my list of things to do is:  Build a garden.  He didn't add it because he really wants a garden but because I really need something enjoyable, a zen thing, amongst the drudgery we have goin' on right now.





< Message edited by TracyTaken -- 3/26/2008 2:37:57 PM >

(in reply to derfrewop)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 2:42:45 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		here is just few....


Time management
Stress Management
Power of Person
Authority Transfer
Asking questions/Seeking permissions
Love in Relationship
Play/Scening
Protocols of Behavior
Structure for learning protocol/behavior changes
The Poly Family!
Poly vs. monogamous thinking – How to move from one to the other
Jealousy vrs Envy
Proper communication of Feelings and Thoughts
Effective communication – What is it
24/7… What is it
Topping/bottoming… What is it
The Collar – It’s meaning
Family outside
Raising the little ones in an M/s poly house
Functioning Long distance relationships
Uncertainty…The cracks in the foundation 
My Code – “Do my will, harm none”
Punishment in My world
Discipline in My world
Fear… the enemy within
Willful Disobedience…. My Hard Limit
Pleasures, Indifferences and challenges to the Slave
Demonstrating significance to each other.
Anger Management
Active and passive dominance/submission
Submission… How I see it
Dominance… How I see it
M/s dynamic.. Authority Transfer!
Sadism… a Part of the Whole
Triggers/Buttons
Building a connection
Character Strengths!
Mindfulness
Needs and Wants
Introvert/Extrovert
Health Management

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 2:44:24 PM   
Katchoo


Posts: 57
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline 		"Transparency"... so essential, yet so challenging

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 3:03:42 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I find it really interesting what some people view as "fun." Pass, thanks.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to roughleather)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 3:06:44 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		sounds more like the rules of your house, so to speak, instead of 'training'; what exactly are you 'training' them to do?  anyone can write a list, and tell someone to do something or expect it of them, but 'training' as i know it, is teaching a 'specialized skill'...

there's nothing 'special' about writing a journal, giving sexual service, staying healthy, etc., and none of those things are things that  myself and my partner wouldn't already know about each other if we actually 'both' communicated once in a while;

sooooooooo, with that said, i wouldn't 'anticipate' those or any other things to be added to a 'list' that someone tries to play off as 'training'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Morning Folks,

I'm sitting here with a bullet list of about 14 different items, with "Slave Training Plan" at the top.  So far in the bullets, I have:


  • Journal
  • Exercise
  • Diet
  • Sexual
  • Service
  • Career
  • Education
  • Spiritual
For dominants, what else would you list?  For submissive types, what would you anticipate on there?  Just curious.

Stephan

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 3:08:40 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		The only real training my boys have gotten have to do with watching their diets, managing their money and their time. Anything else is just teaching them how to do what I like, in the context of their relationship with me. I dont have a list, becasue Id have to write a new one for each boy.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Slave Training Plan - 3/26/2008 3:14:34 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

there's nothing 'special' about writing a journal, giving sexual service, staying healthy, etc., and none of those things are things that myself and my partner wouldn't already know about each other if we actually 'both' communicated once in a while;

sooooooooo, with that said, i wouldn't 'anticipate' those or any other things to be added to a 'list' that someone tries to play off as 'training'.


What do you mean by "play off"?  It's not weely weel, it's not truuuly true?

Got news for ya:  Lots of people who stay healthy are on training programs.  Anyone who can write in a journal can also fly an airplane, but just because they can does not mean that they do, eh?  Training is about "doing."  And since when did something have to be "special" to qualify as training?

You must be a very special person.

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 60
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