Slave Training Plan (Full Version)

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Stephann -> Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 8:20:52 AM)

Morning Folks,

I'm sitting here with a bullet list of about 14 different items, with "Slave Training Plan" at the top.  So far in the bullets, I have:

  • Journal
  • Exercise
  • Diet
  • Sexual
  • Service
  • Career
  • Education
  • Spiritual
For dominants, what else would you list?  For submissive types, what would you anticipate on there?  Just curious.

Stephan



wideeyedgirl -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 8:42:13 AM)

This might be too *small* as your list seems to the major headings. But hyigene/personal care. Expectations (as in what will she be expected to do..). health (if she has coniditions, knowing about them and allowing modifations. or about medications she takes...making sure its written in as a requirement to take for her well being). Then depends on the relationship - financial. or that could fit under career, but it doesnt.

Just some things off the top of my head...



Stephann -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 8:43:59 AM)

Nope, those are exactly the kind of comments I'm interested in hearing.  Thanks!

Stephan



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 8:49:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Morning Folks,

I'm sitting here with a bullet list of about 14 different items, with "Slave Training Plan" at the top.  So far in the bullets, I have:

  • Journal
  • Exercise
  • Diet
  • Sexual
  • Service
  • Career
  • Education
  • Spiritual
For dominants, what else would you list?  For submissive types, what would you anticipate on there?  Just curious.

Stephan

i would anticipate nothing because a) don't identify as slave, b) not willing to have myself trained as one and c) according to Daddy: training is for those who are weak

you may start flaming now



Aileen1968 -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 8:53:12 AM)

Hobbies.  She should have something that gives her a mental outlet.



OmegaG -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 8:57:47 AM)

I disagree, training is a fancy-schmancy way of saying that one person is learning all she can to make the other person happy.  It happens in many relationships, but it's far more formal and cognitively recognized in a M/s relationship.

In vanilla relationships I've; grown my hair/cut my hair so it was more asthetically pleasing to my partner, given or taken financial responsibilities for the house including all incomes that have come in, listened to imput on how to arrange the house, cook the food, buy the groceries...

I could think of more if I took the time.

Since I have been a single mother for the better part of 18 years who has paid her own bills and found adequate jobs that would cover all needs without government assistance, I'd say I'm not weak (and my friends would slap me upside the head if I did).  However, when I am in a relationship I have a strong need to please my partner.  IMO, even if I didn't like the kink, I'd have to say that being a part of WIITWD just makes it so much easier to accomplish the core need within a relationship that I have. 

And yes, I'm in a grumpy mood today but why is there always someone who jumps onto threads with a negative "your thought process is so wrong" comment?

Stephann, I think that everything that I can think of except physical appearence falls under all of your catagories.



OmegaG -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 8:59:19 AM)

oh, very good one Aileen.

(considering that during some of our conversations about moving I had to disclose just how many bins of fabric and yarn I have that I'm not willing to part with)



thetammyjo -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:00:35 AM)

I have a training program I designed, it's about 10 pages long.

To be very honest, I don't share that with anyone whom I am not negotiating such a dynamic with. Why? Because I think it's best for each person to figure out what works best for them and their situation.

There are lots of books and other resources about what you should consider in negotiations so I think folks should be able to figure out something and then trial and error with it over time.



wideeyedgirl -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:04:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Hobbies.  She should have something that gives her a mental outlet.


Yeah! good idea. Hobbies/vanilla/side interests.

Umm maybe... something for family/outside contact. Again, depends on the type of dynamic. How involved. If 24/7...or at least full time: section about family involvment (as in what is she referred to, how dressed, collar around family friends. Does she need permission to call or visit family, friends?)

Maybe thats all better just under the social heading. Can then include (if it applies) to protocal for expected behaviors during scene parties and events. The places where a girl is expected to behave in proper fashion.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:13:57 AM)

quote:

For submissive types, what would you anticipate on there?
 
this slave would anticipate a plan that was created for her, by the Master, with HIS preferences and desires being of utmost importance.
 
this slave would also anticipate Him asking for input from the slave, considering it, then either discarding the input or incorporating it into the plan as He sees fit.
 
this slave would have been entirely incapable of writing a training plan for herself within the context of an M/s relationship and relied on Master to craft it.
 
this slave wouldn't add anything or take anything away from your list, as she believes a Master's plan for His/Her slave to be intimate, individual, unique, soul-bearing and for some, sacred.
 
for this slave, Master's plan for her is also a plan for US and is something she cherishes---as if He had poured out all of the desires of His heart, for this slave to strive to fulfill, for the shared benefit of us both.



AquaticSub -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:17:08 AM)

For me, it's pretty much what goes under those headings.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Morning Folks,

I'm sitting here with a bullet list of about 14 different items, with "Slave Training Plan" at the top.  So far in the bullets, I have:


  • Journal


I'd probably ask to be excused from that one, unless it was for my eyes only and even then I'm not a fan. I hate journaling for other people as I find what I write changes and I believe the frustration of trying to journal "correctly" would overcome whatever benfit I was supposed to get. I do, however, talk quite freely and openly about whatever is on my mind when given the chance so an owner could find out whatever they liked simply by asking me and stating that I can speak my mind.
quote:


Exercise

Under this heading, I would hope that things aren't exactly spelled out. Different types of exercise work better for different people. I would hope that the owner would find out what types of exercise had worked in the past, not just to lose weight and stay in shape but also stimulated the mind. And, because I'm me, I would hope to see requirements for self-defense courses.
quote:


  • Diet


If I saw this, I would expect that the dominant/owner/master/whatever in question would take me to a respected physican and get a diet plan from them. I don't think I would accept anything else if they expected to change my diet drastically.
quote:


  • Sexual


Under that I would just expect to see their sexual desires, their wishes and so on. I would hope to see that exceptions to duty would be made when needed.
quote:


  • Service


I suppose under that I would expect to see what the person wants in terms of household service. If there were any skills on there that I didn't know how to do, I would expect them to provide the needed instruction.
quote:


  • Career


If I am expected to have a career in addition to everything, here is where I would expect to find something about working so many hours or making X amount of money or spending X amount of hours a week looking for a suitable job. I would also hope to see that, since I will be doing X amount of outside the home, the owner will help with chores.
quote:


  • Education


I would probably expect, given the heading, that the owner would want their property to complete college, or perhaps take a class every now and then.
quote:


  • Spiritual


Now that is a heading that, I'll confess, would trouble me. I do not believe that one person can dicate a person's spiritual growth or even put it on a timeline. While it is one thing to only want a partner who is also spiritual, I personally feel that saying that spirituality is part of slave training is a bad idea. You can't train someone to be more spiritual, that has to come from within.

However, if what I saw not along the lines of "I want you to improve your spirituality" but "I will pray/mediate/talk with you/go to *insert place of worship* with you/provide you with books/etc when you are ready/want to" that would appeal to me greatly.

I hope this was helpful,
Aqua



AquaticSub -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:20:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i would anticipate nothing because a) don't identify as slave, b) not willing to have myself trained as one and c) according to Daddy: training is for those who are weak

you may start flaming now


That's about one of the sillier and nastier things I've heard. I suppose my martial arts, military training, training for mechanics, pilots, etc are all for the weak too?

Training is instruction. Instruction is for those who know they don't already know everything.




wideeyedgirl -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:22:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

[

i would anticipate nothing because a) don't identify as slave, b) not willing to have myself trained as one and c) according to Daddy: training is for those who are weak

you may start flaming now


Not going to flame, because what you said was inflammatory and meant to rile things up. Maybe start a new threat discussing that very topic, I doubt many would think the same ways as your "Daddy", but maybe you could get some good feedback and not derail anothers post.



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:29:15 AM)

you offered your opinion and i did the same.  if you assumed that i did it to rile things up, then you assumed wrong. i stand by opinions and not going to change my stance on what i think about training.

apologies to Stephann solely



subtee -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:29:34 AM)

Hi AS;

It seems to me there is very little than could be consider wrong (or conversely a "correct" way) in journaling. There are some tips that can help, if you're interested, for example:

Put the pencil (pen) on the paper or the fingers on the keyboard for 30 minutes. You may not stop, but it matters not at all what is written. With time, thoughts will coalesce.

Journal at the same time every day in order that your mind does initial prep/percolating. (Like a BB player who does exactly 4 dribbles, breath, blink twice and shoot--it's mind prep, right?)

If you want other ideas, PM me on the other side. [:)]



TracyTaken -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:29:58 AM)

quote:

training is for those who are weak


So, you've never worked a day in your life, you were born knowing how to read and write, you've never been through any kind of physical fitness (you know, training), you've never in your life followed a recipe - and if faced with a bursting appendix, you would prefer to be cut into by a *strong* person who has no medical training as opposed to a *weak* surgeon who actually had to be taught how to perform surgery?

I've put myself on training programs to learn various things in an orderly fashion.  I take classes for the same reason.
I must be a real wuss.  [&:]



TreasureKY -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:30:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

Morning Folks,

I'm sitting here with a bullet list of about 14 different items, with "Slave Training Plan" at the top.  So far in the bullets, I have:

  • Journal
  • Exercise
  • Diet
  • Sexual
  • Service
  • Career
  • Education
  • Spiritual
... For submissive types, what would you anticipate on there?


I would anticipate a few moments of anxiously figuring out how I would explain to him that he seriously needs to improve on his math skills, without hurting his domly pride.  [;)]

Edited to add:

In serious response to your question, though, it really is a matter of what exactly you wish to control in her life.  There are a few additional possibilities that could be included in your list if you wish to control every aspect... psychological and emotional are very broad areas that you may have intended to be covered under the spiritual heading... but you could also be specific in a very general way. 

Time Management is an issue that many people could use improvement on... perhaps requiring her to adhere to a schedule so that she is able to accomplish everything that you desire.

Many individuals enjoy encorporating rituals into their lifestyle, as well.  Have you considered social behaviors?  How do you expect her to present herself under different circumstances?  A business dinner, perhaps, or a family gathering?



AquaticSub -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:36:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Hi AS;

It seems to me there is very little than could be consider wrong (or conversely a "correct" way) in journaling. There are some tips that can help, if you're interested, for example:

Put the pencil (pen) on the paper or the fingers on the keyboard for 30 minutes. You may not stop, but it matters not at all what is written. With time, thoughts will coalesce.

Journal at the same time every day in order that your mind does initial prep/percolating. (Like a BB player who does exactly 4 dribbles, breath, blink twice and shoot--it's mind prep, right?)

If you want other ideas, PM me on the other side. [:)]


That's the thing... I've done a lot of writing excerises because I've taken several writing courses. If I start doing that, I'll just start writing poems, stories, essays... not a journal entry. I'd honestly much rather have "talking period" where I can sit and talk to him about what I'm thinking and feeling. Things make more sense to me when I talk them out. And my hand hurts much less. [:)]

Now, if my owner wants to read a journal filled with short essays on whatever is buzzing around in my head at the moment (which would probably always directly relate to whatever book I was reading at the time) I could probably do that.



domahpet -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:37:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

quote:

training is for those who are weak


So, you've never worked a day in your life, you were born knowing how to read and write, you've never been through any kind of physical fitness (you know, training), you've never in your life followed a recipe - and if faced with a bursting appendix, you would prefer to be cut into by a *strong* person who has no medical training as opposed to a *weak* surgeon who actually had to be taught how to perform surgery?

I've put myself on training programs to learn various things in an orderly fashion.  I take classes for the same reason.
I must be a real wuss.  [&:]



very well said Tracy!
there isnt a thing you know, or your Daddy,
that you werent trained to do.
the only thing people know without training
is how to suck, and sometimes, babies even need to be trained
how to do that.[8|]



Stephann -> RE: Slave Training Plan (3/26/2008 9:37:46 AM)

Hi folks, and thanks to those of you who offered suggestions.

I didn't put a lot of caveats on here, because I doubt they would have been addressed.  I would hope it goes without saying that I'm not really asking 'how do I train my slave.'  Rather, I'm tossing ideas I have about various aspects of a slave's mental, physical, and emotional well being that can and (in my opinion) should be considered.  Obviously, I'm going to expect each slave owner to train their slave to suit their needs.  Service & protocol, for example, is more important to me than many others I've met in the lifestyle, so I've invested more time on it than I have in other aspects. 

For the past six months, all of the issues on my list, so far, have received some degree or another of attention.  I didn't felt compelled to compile this list because I think we have any severe deficiancy with our relationship.  In truth, we're very happy with the things we're doing with our lives right now.  We don't, and never intend, to have a written slave contract, for example.  Yet passing milestones are good reminders of the place we've come from and the direction we're going.  This morning I was tending some things, and realized I had three or four things I wanted to work more on with charlotte, and with all the travelling we've been doing (a 2 hour trip just about every weekend to LA) they've fallen by the way side.  So I figured instead of trying to write little stickies to myself, I'd simply get everything I could on paper; something we did about four months ago, and enjoyed at the time.

So, with this said, I agree that this isn't something anyone can write for me.  Rather, it was more of a query of what other aspects of slavery might have been glaringly overlooked; Health & Hygine being an excellent example, as it's something we address on a daily basis, but I didn't think to pen to the list.  I suppose it's worth mentioning that this isn't intended as a negotiation tool (though I suppose it certainly could be, a different direction to go in for M/s individuals who are more interested in Dominant/submissive aspects than they are in fetish/BDSM checklists.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wideeyedgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Hobbies.  She should have something that gives her a mental outlet.


Yeah! good idea. Hobbies/vanilla/side interests.

Umm maybe... something for family/outside contact. Again, depends on the type of dynamic. How involved. If 24/7...or at least full time: section about family involvment (as in what is she referred to, how dressed, collar around family friends. Does she need permission to call or visit family, friends?)

Maybe thats all better just under the social heading. Can then include (if it applies) to protocal for expected behaviors during scene parties and events. The places where a girl is expected to behave in proper fashion.


Great suggestions, thank you.  I'll chalk Social & Recreational up there.  We've already well established how interaction with families are to be dealt with. 

Stephan



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