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RE: my Master said... - 3/27/2008 6:00:18 PM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

Take a step back and look at the situation objectively. Was the slight intentional? Was it public? Did he have a reason for doing what he did? Have you talked to him about it? Was it part of a humiliation scene? Are you simply being overly-critical of this situation due to a lack of experience? Or could he really be a dickhole? Impossible to say from your two-line post.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: my Master said... - 3/28/2008 10:57:31 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


Look, if you're going to kill an experienced poster


have to defend the Op a little

experienced posters can be wrong too ;)
not in this case..but  a high amount of posts don't make us godlike

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 3/28/2008 10:59:04 AM >

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(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: my Master said... - 3/28/2008 8:50:28 PM   
FirmhandKY


Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


Look, if you're going to kill an experienced poster


have to defend the Op a little

experienced posters can be wrong too ;)
not in this case..but  a high amount of posts don't make us godlike


No ... some of us were godlike before we ever post for the first time  .....




Firm


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(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: my Master said... - 3/28/2008 10:17:37 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


Look, if you're going to kill an experienced poster


have to defend the Op a little

experienced posters can be wrong too ;)
not in this case..but  a high amount of posts don't make us godlike


No ... some of us were godlike before we ever post for the first time  .....




Firm



If post numbers make one a God, then LA must be the Goddess I have been searching for!!!  I have to tell her now!!!

well wishes ~ fairer


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(in reply to FirmhandKY)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: my Master said... - 3/29/2008 1:33:48 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


Look, if you're going to kill an experienced poster


have to defend the Op a little

experienced posters can be wrong too ;)
not in this case..but  a high amount of posts don't make us godlike


No ... some of us were godlike before we ever post for the first time  .....




Firm



that is why I am a satanist :P
haha


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RE: my Master said... - 3/29/2008 7:08:09 AM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		if being forth-right and honest with someone is considered 'hitting below the belt', then yes, i would consider them to be my friend.

(in reply to sexysusieq11215)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: My Master said... - 3/29/2008 8:28:34 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexysusieq11215
Aren't a Master and sub supposed to be friends?



Nay. A Master is a Master first. Friendship—as it's traditionally thought of—doesn't have to be present at all, nor love.

Perhaps you are too full of yourself, and need to be reminded of something for your own good. Perhaps he's not Master of much at all and stoops to using petty judgment as a weapon. One thing I know is, inviting anonymous strangers online to mull over crumbs of your private life is not very productive.

Edited to add: Is it Master and slave, Dominant and submissive or top and bottom? Mixing the arrangements have their consequences. Food for thought, perhaps.



< Message edited by amayos -- 3/29/2008 8:39:24 AM >

(in reply to sexysusieq11215)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: my Master said... - 3/29/2008 8:48:16 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		speaking about my own relationship with Daddy, we were friends first before moving towards our current D/s dynamic. and as such He wouldn't use things said in confidence to toss back in my face knowing that would ultimately break my trust and respect for Him. yet like others have chimed in, every relationship differs from the other.

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(in reply to sexysusieq11215)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: My Master said... - 3/29/2008 8:48:58 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos


Nay. A Master is a Master first. Friendship—as it's traditionally thought of—doesn't have to be present at all, nor love.



I think we should let every individual Master decide that from case to case :). I can be a friend first..and then get interested in a girl. Doesn't make the "friendship"suddenly go away..or  less important then domination.


< Message edited by Justme696 -- 3/29/2008 8:52:36 AM >

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RE: my Master said... - 3/29/2008 8:54:08 AM   
knotslandingdom


Posts: 23
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexysusieq11215

my Master professed undying love and then took a personal event and hit me below the belt with it....arent a Master and sub supposed to be friends....?


Supposed to be?  According to whom?  It's unwise to make such assumptions about people.  Doing so will surely bite you in the butt, as your personal example above illustrates.

(in reply to sexysusieq11215)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: my Master said... - 3/29/2008 8:55:43 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knotslandingdom

It's unwise to make such assumptions about people.


yes...don't be so human girl!!!!!

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(in reply to knotslandingdom)
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RE: my Master said... - 3/29/2008 8:59:56 AM   
knotslandingdom


Posts: 23
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

quote:

ORIGINAL: knotslandingdom

It's unwise to make such assumptions about people.


yes...don't be so human girl!!!!!


Yes, be human, make assumptions about people, get bit on the butt, learn from said butt-biting, become wiser in the process, and hopefully, have a more satisfying relationship the next time around, without all the heartbreak.

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: my Master said... - 3/29/2008 10:02:53 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexysusieq11215

my Master professed undying love and then took a personal event and hit me below the belt with it....arent a Master and sub supposed to be friends....?

No.  If my Master were my "friend" first he would not be my Master, he would be my friend.  Different people view such arrangements differently, but this is my view.   And when he believes necessary, I am, on accasion "hit below the belt" with personal information.  Having no clue what occurred between you, there is no way any of us can accurately advise you.

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RE: my Master said... - 3/29/2008 10:08:38 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexysusieq11215

my Master professed undying love and then took a personal event and hit me below the belt with it....arent a Master and sub supposed to be friends....?


No... Masters are suppose to be Masters.

But... they MIGHT be a friend, lover, confident and a host of other labels.  It is for you to decide what a Master is for you.  You then to ensure you made the right choice!....... I suspect that you questioning your choice..... I suggest you look into what you want in a Master and then answer the question... "Is he the Master I want?"

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to sexysusieq11215)
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RE: My Master said... - 3/29/2008 3:16:24 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

I can be a friend first..and then get interested in a girl. Doesn't make the "friendship"suddenly go away..or less important then domination.



Can a Master be a lover or friend first and a Master second? It's an interesting thing to think about. I personally don't believe Master can take secondary or even equal importance to another relational dynamic and still retain the essence of its meaning. I think believing so is where many get into trouble.

Master and Mistress are heavy words, or they should be considered such, in the least. Opinion. Not the decree of Chairman Mao.



(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: My Master said... - 3/29/2008 3:33:46 PM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
Status: offline 		Its interesting, the number of times I've encounted the situation of replying honestly to a request for feedback from a slave/sub/bottom/friend, etc. in which my answer put some of the responsibility for the situation she found herself in back in her lap... and *surprise* - she doesn't like the answer at all.

It may be common in vanilla relationships, but I find an amazing number of 'submissive' women that are *completely* unwilling to shoulder any responsibility whatsoever for the impact of their own decisions.  This can suddenly appear in a completely normal conversation. 

She says - Want your opinion on X, did this thing with this guy and have a concern.... etc
He says - Wow, you didn't think that one through.  No wonder it went bad on you.
She says - How dare you, thought you were my friend!  He's an abuser... etc  I'm a victim here.

and so on.



(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: my Master said... - 3/29/2008 3:36:54 PM   
warmdomination12


Posts: 20
Joined: 4/18/2007
Status: offline 		Hitting below the belt is generally a sign of emotional immaturity. Caught up in a temper filled moment its still not a good thing, and an apology would be due.

Noones perfect, Im sure not, but a good Dom is generally more in control of their emotions......and does not lash out with personal insults in emotionally charged moments.

(in reply to sexysusieq11215)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: my Master said... - 3/29/2008 4:26:04 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We are friends, lovers, top and bottom, and dominant and submissive. What we aren't are one dimensional characters.

I'm even a mother, a daughter, and a sister too. I can be all these things at once and am.

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: My Master said... - 3/29/2008 4:29:02 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos


quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

I can be a friend first..and then get interested in a girl. Doesn't make the "friendship"suddenly go away..or less important then domination.



Can a Master be a lover or friend first and a Master second? It's an interesting thing to think about. I personally don't believe Master can take secondary or even equal importance to another relational dynamic and still retain the essence of its meaning. I think believing so is where many get into trouble.

Master and Mistress are heavy words, or they should be considered such, in the least. Opinion. Not the decree of Chairman Mao.





It can work for me...right now it does. In the relation I have. I am always a Master, but friend first.
and yes..I agree..the roles change...right now it is 50/50..while it started by not beeing her Master at all. Because we chose that situation then.
Indeed a nice thing to think about.


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(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: my Master said... - 3/29/2008 5:34:38 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: warmdomination12

Hitting below the belt is generally a sign of emotional immaturity. Caught up in a temper filled moment its still not a good thing, and an apology would be due.

Noones perfect, Im sure not, but a good Dom is generally more in control of their emotions......and does not lash out with personal insults in emotionally charged moments.


I agree, but then I'm glad you qualified your comment a little bit too.

We shouldn't be too general in our criticisms, I think.

Whether you mean emotionally below the belt or physically, that sort of thing isn't ruled out as something which can be part of consensual kink. I think just this sort of activity was in fact described in one of the responses above.

I'm not suggesting that this would apply to the case of the OP, I'm just sayin'.

Personally I'm not above hitting below the belt with the belt if it falls within the relationship parameters, physically or emotionally. Different strokes from different blokes; isn't that the saying?

(in reply to warmdomination12)
Profile   Post #: 40
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