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Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/27/2008 7:34:48 PM

MmeGigs

Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline

Since I got here a few months ago I’ve gotten quite a few emails from submissive fellows looking for a dominant woman. The vast majority of these fellows tell me that they want to be my sub or that they want to come and serve me or they send me a list of things they would like me to do to them. They don’t tell me anything about themselves and don’t show any interest in getting to know me. Some of the fellows who email me here haven’t even looked at my profile. Most appear to be looking for the services of a professional dominatrix without the fees.

Now, I know that this is nothing new. I’ve been getting contacts like this for years elsewhere, and I generally just delete them without giving them much thought. Lately, though, it has started to just irk the hell out of me that these guys – guys in my age group and in my area who are probably nice, decent fellows whose company I might enjoy if I got to know them, who might be what I'm looking for – are so flippin’ clueless. Would they go up to a woman on the street whom they find attractive and introduce themselves by saying to her, “Would you be my girlfriend and give me lots of sex?” Hell, no. They’ve all been around the block enough to know that such a thing would never work with any woman worth having, so it’s completely mystifying to me that they think this will work with a dominant woman. What are they thinking??

I’ve been feeling a bit ornery lately and have been responding to a few of these fellows. I’m not nasty in those emails, but I’m not particularly warm, either. I'm letting them know what I think of their rather vulgar advances. I suppose I could gently guide these fellows, but there’s just no reason on earth that it should be necessary to tell a 50 year old man that if he's interested in a woman he has to treat her like she's a person, not like she's a penis hardener.

Sadly, I am sure that there are many dominant women reading this who know exactly what I'm talking about. So what do you think, ladies? I've tried being nice and constructive with these fellows and it's been a waste of time. Being more assertive with them doesn't seem to be any more effective. Is responding to these fellows a waste of time? Is there any chance that they will get a clue and treat the next dom they contact more like a person? What is likely to be effective in imparting a clue to them?

I'm just really bummed that these guys are the norm rather than the exception to the rule.

Post #: 1

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/27/2008 7:38:07 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

Sweetie, that's what the Delete button is for. There are supposedly 10 male subs to every female Domme, and my guess by the emails I get on here is that the ratio is far better than that. You will find some true blues, and just ignore the rest.

_____________________________

(in reply to MmeGigs)

Post #: 2

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/27/2008 8:52:33 PM

chezzy52

Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

Don't lose hope...sometime,somewhere when you least expect it..that diamond in the rough will show himself much to your surprise.I would like to think it is at least a possibility.I highly doubt we are all mentally challenged.

(in reply to MmeGigs)

Post #: 3

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/27/2008 9:11:37 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Your odds are a lot better if you look through profiles and do the selecting rather than way for the right guys to contact you.
Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to MmeGigs)

Post #: 4

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/27/2008 9:26:17 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

I've developed a new way to combat those pesky pervs...

I respond to them by telling them to check out my blog/website, and proceed to Rick Roll them.

If you do not know what it means to be Rick Roll'd, http://www.smouch.net/lol

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 5

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/27/2008 10:47:44 PM

AtlantaMistress

Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

I've developed a new way to combat those pesky pervs...

I respond to them by telling them to check out my blog/website, and proceed to Rick Roll them.

If you do not know what it means to be Rick Roll'd, http://www.smouch.net/lol

OMG - that was so f-ing annoying, and I had to close all my open windows in Firefox AFTER the entire song before I could come back and tell you - THANK YOU. I am going to take your advice and send that to anyone who I get an obvious cut and paste email from...yes, I get them. Even though the top of my profile CLEARLY STATES IN BOLD RED LETTERS THAT YOU MUST READ MY PROFILE, AND I AM A PRO DOMME, I still get the letters from men wanting to devote their lives to serving me (of course not pay me - I have a boy I intend to spend my life with (profile says that too...only interested in those who can pay for my services now).

I have been hitting the delete button, but this is too good, so I will send them a link to "my site" (and Rick Roll them) with a follow up note LMAO and telling them to be careful whose time they waste with their BS letters, then HIT DELETE!

Fabulous!

_____________________________

Mistress Sandy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 6

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/27/2008 10:50:56 PM

Gemini1766

Posts: 991
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline

I just had to check that out. Thankfully I like that song. I love the way it is set up. Very useful for annoying pests.

_____________________________

"Strangers do not owe strangers anything, beyond an obeisance to the laws mutual conduct as dictated by the land in which they live. Anything else is negotiable." puella

"TwistedKinkerBell's online male companion of a nearly intimate nature."

(in reply to AtlantaMistress)

Post #: 7

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/27/2008 10:56:07 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AtlantaMistress
OMG - that was so f-ing annoying, and I had to close all my open windows in Firefox AFTER the entire song before I could come back and tell you - THANK YOU. I am going to take your advice and send that to anyone who I get an obvious cut and paste email from...yes, I get them. Even though the top of my profile CLEARLY STATES IN BOLD RED LETTERS THAT YOU MUST READ MY PROFILE, AND I AM A PRO DOMME, I still get the letters from men wanting to devote their lives to serving me (of course not pay me - I have a boy I intend to spend my life with (profile says that too...only interested in those who can pay for my services now).

I have been hitting the delete button, but this is too good, so I will send them a link to "my site" (and Rick Roll them) with a follow up note LMAO and telling them to be careful whose time they waste with their BS letters, then HIT DELETE!

Fabulous!

Good lord, I know what you mean. It's even funnier when they say they loved my profile and then proceed to tell me what an awesome "twue" submissive/slave/toilet they are despite the fact that I state quite clearly I'm not looking.

BTW, the only way for them to terminate that script early is if they ctrl-alt-delete and use "End Task" for Firefox. Extra-annoying if they've got other windows up! BWAHAHAHA!

Glad to spread the loooove!

(in reply to AtlantaMistress)

Post #: 8

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 4:54:36 AM

MmeGigs

Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline

I generally do delete these. I just wonder if telling these guys how they're coming across might help them straighten up and act like humans at some point in the future.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 9

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 5:17:46 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

Yes, it is frustrating. It's also frustrating to meet someone face to face, or on the phone and get that uncomfortable silence as the conversation goes longer and longer without any discussion of kink or sex. I just KNOW they are completely tuning me out and have no interest in my kids, my art, my philosophy nor do they have any interest in telling me about theirs. It's so obvious that I'm talking to someone who could give a rats ass about me! As soon as I mention any aspect of kink/play/sex, their ears perk up and suddenly they are present again. Grrrrrr.

Men are so focused on sex and their genitals it makes me wonder how they have ever managed to accomplish anything.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 10

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 5:20:07 AM

Parataxis

Posts: 56
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs

I'm just really bummed that these guys are the norm rather than the exception to the rule.

It's a chicken and egg sort of situation really. Especially for those who use this as more of a dating site than anything else. (not me, but y'know).

Females on the site get a lot of short, impersonal emails (copy-paste type stuff) as such, they ignore 99% of them.

Men on the site realise that 99% of their emails (copy and paste or not) are probably going to be ignored. As such, if they have a hope of finding somebody, they need to send out as many emails to as many people as they can. If you're sending out that many emails, making them copy/paste saves time.

Women get hit with lots of these emails, prompting them to ignore the vast manjority of mails, often unread, that hit their inbox.

Men realise they're not getting responded to, and so need to adopt a mass selection model of emailing.

etc...

Really unfortunate for everybody. And that doesn't even factor in the jerks, of which there are numerous.

(in reply to MmeGigs)

Post #: 11

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 6:05:24 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

Sweetie, that's what the Delete button is for. There are supposedly 10 male subs to every female Domme, and my guess by the emails I get on here is that the ratio is far better than that. You will find some true blues, and just ignore the rest.

Ma`am, i would question Your view that a high ratio of submissive men to Dominant Females is actually a plus for You. My reason being, its just a large number of flakes to sort through, before finding a nice guy. Surely an even balanced ratio of guys, seeking the same as You, would be a better benefit ?

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 12

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 6:12:19 AM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

Hello Dear Lady:

quote:

Would they go up to a woman on the street whom they find attractive and introduce themselves by saying to her, “Would you be my girlfriend and give me lots of sex?”

Well sadly they do, its called the bar scene and as long as women allow it to continue it will...

I believe that a substantial majority of men have come here because they believe it is easier to secure a spot in D/s then in a vanilla relationship because it takes less work---let's see " all i have to do is kneel, mention my tongue and agree to do whatever she says, then i will be taken care of and have all the sex i can handle"--

quote:

They’ve all been around the block enough to know that such a thing would never work with any woman worth having, so it’s completely mystifying to me that they think this will work with a dominant woman. What are they thinking??

Sadly there is a perception in the D/s world that it is easier, less gating requirements and freer acceptance of poor human skills.

Men come here--( not all men My darlings)-men come here to secure a position with a female because they dont have to have social skills, social graces, etc--they don't even have to be human like---a simple yes Maam on webcam can secure them--well, security.

quote:

I’m not nasty in those emails, but I’m not particularly warm, either. I'm letting them know what I think of their rather vulgar advances.

You are better than I am, for I am nasty and I don't pull punches, if one is vulgar--go away, if says I have read your profile and we may have something in common--then follow through---respond to what I ask--I have no time for little boy games.

quote:

just no reason on earth that it should be necessary to tell a 50 year old man that if he's interested in a woman he has to treat her like she's a person, not like she's a penis hardener.

Yes there is Dear, for men don't change--and now they think if they are hard with a good tongue, We will collar them and all will live happily ever after.

quote:

I'm just really bummed that these guys are the norm rather than the exception to the rule.

I am very jaded that there are no exceptions to the rule and the ones that are live in another country-- smiles

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to MmeGigs)

Post #: 13

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 6:33:22 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

It gets to all of us every once in while. My particualr favorites come in two categories. The first being that I absolutely don't have any interest in anyone who needs to include that they will relocate. When those types write Me, I copy and paste the part of My profile which mentions this specifically, and ask them what part of it was difficult for them to understand.

The second is the form letter types who send Me a second email with the same exact message that I just rejected three weeks ago. My usual reply to them is that they should keep better track.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 14

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 6:46:24 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

In general if someone doesn't live in my state and has not approached me in the appropriate manner, I merely write back to him/her saying "You need to reread my profile" and that 's all.

By the way, women also approach me like this, it isn't only men.

If someone lives in my state though I'll suggest they join a certain yahoogroup that has weekly announcements of kink events around the state but point out that my profile clearly states that I'm not looking to add to my household at this moment.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MmeGigs)

Post #: 15

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 7:01:25 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Will you women send me one of those form letter you keep talking about. It sure would save me a lot of writing. I guess I should keep a list of who I write to. Espcialy the ones who keep telling me to get lost. I blame it on my GPS.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 16

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 8:35:50 AM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Will you women send me one of those form letter you keep talking about. It sure would save me a lot of writing. I guess I should keep a list of who I write to. Espcialy the ones who keep telling me to get lost. I blame it on my GPS.

Form Letter 1: deer metress, i want 2 be a slave 4 u--i can cam and do whatever u want ---i am a lowly slave heer to serve ur needs---pls yahoo me at xxxxxxxxx

Form Letter 2: u have sex with ur subs?

Form Letter 3: i suck good maam, can i be ur slave

Form Letter 4: u r hot, i need to hurt 4 u

Form Letter 5: i have big dXXX and US visa.

Form Letter 6: I am an alpha male in the realworld who seeks to be a submissive to a strong Dominant, hwp female.

Any of these look familiar D?

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 17

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 9:23:26 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

Pyrrsefanie,

quote:

I respond to them by telling them to check out my blog/website, and proceed to Rick Roll them. If you do not know what it means to be Rick Roll'd, http://www.smouch.net/lol

Oh you cruel, cruel woman. I Rick Roll'd myself (by accident) thanks to *your* link. Very effective indeed, especially the close. :-)

Elan.

(in reply to Pyrrsefanie)

Post #: 18

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 9:25:15 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

LadyHathor,

quote:

Form Letter 1: deer metress, i want 2 be a slave 4 u--i can cam and do whatever u want ---i am a lowly slave heer to serve ur needs---pls yahoo me at xxxxxxxxx

Form Letter 2: u have sex with ur subs?

Form Letter 3: i suck good maam, can i be ur slave

Form Letter 4: u r hot, i need to hurt 4 u

Form Letter 5: i have big dXXX and US visa.

Form Letter 6: I am an alpha male in the realworld who seeks to be a submissive to a strong Dominant, hwp female.

Any of these look familiar D?

Respectfully, it's considered bad form to reprint private correspondence without permission from the original author. And to think, I wrote these thinking you were all nice and stuff. :-)

Elan.

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 19

RE: Frustrated and letting it show. - 3/28/2008 9:30:52 AM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MmeGigs

I generally do delete these. I just wonder if telling these guys how they're coming across might help them straighten up and act like humans at some point in the future.

No. Teaching them will accomplish nothing. I believe that these guys send dozens of these troll messages until someone stops to talk to them, get their rocks off, engage in cyber domination with them, or makes them go on cam and shove a dildo up their ass -- and guess what, 99% of the time, it's a man on the other end PRETENDING to be a woman. That's the irony -- the horny losers that send out those emails do get action -- from other horny losers pretending to be femdoms. So let them play with one another. My question is whether or not deep down these "submissive" horny losers know that most of the time it's a big hairy dude on the other end...and they just don't care.

What can you do? Take control and DO the searching. Go out and find a man. There are so many profiles on here, spend time reading them, and take action -- I have found that for every 3 emails I sent out, at least 1 starts a fairly good dialogue....it's much better when you are in the driver's seat, and as the "predatory" you can set the tone....

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to MmeGigs)

Post #: 20

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