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Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 10:40:51 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		The acceleration of new folks, finding out about the lifestyle or path continues as they jump in with both feet and finding a "Master / Mistress" in as short a time as one month continues.

In reading the forums, I see directly and indirectly questions about how a relationship should develope from some of these same "s"s thus the point of this post. Can you candidly discuss issues with your "D" now that you wear a collar. Can you discuss fantasies, tendencies toward yeast infections etc.

If you cannot, should you be wearing a collar?

CP
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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 10:42:39 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I can, yes.

Should you be wearing a collar if you cannot? I would imagine that would be between the two people to decide. Some masters prefer a very distant (literally and figuratively) relationship.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 10:44:06 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		That's a nice idea, that if you have a collar that it should be an unspoken truth that you should be able to communicate well with your Dom/me, but sometimes the situation changes once the collar is put on and the Dom/me no longer seems to care as much if the sub/slave is being fulfilled.  After all, they belong and are given the chance to please their One, so what else could they possible want?

_____________________________



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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 10:48:20 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

so what else could they possible want?


queen,

well to start with...................................

CP

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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 10:53:51 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		chamberqueen you are right. They belong to you now. Who do they think they are saying I want this or I want that. Their purpose is to please you. They have given up their right to have and want anything.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 11:02:22 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		I can and always have chatted candidly with Sir, its a pretty central requirement that we communicate.  Though I often feel uncomfortable discussing things with Him that is because of myself not because of anything He has ever done, I am just not used to having that degree of intimacy with anyone, so its all new.

THough protocol does govern how and when I communicate with Him, I cannot imagine Sir ever blocking me from doing it. This would be hugely counter-productive. If we couldn't have candid conversations I would soon become frustrated and a poor service girl, either leading to my dismissal or me begging release.

That said ... He doesn't ever have to follow my wishes or desires, its simply my duty to make them available to Him. He will do exactly as He pleases.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 11:04:00 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

chamberqueen you are right. They belong to you now. Who do they think they are saying I want this or I want that. Their purpose is to please you. They have given up their right to have and want anything.


Dnomyr,

This point that is to be considered is informed consent. How in the hell does ma newbie understand the true nature of their commitment when a "D"'s hops on them right out of the vanilla box?..


CP

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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 11:06:47 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

That said ... He doesn't ever have to follow my wishes or desires, its simply my duty to make them available to Him. He will do exactly as He pleases.


softness,

Then it appears that your in solid when you overcome your comfort zone.

thanks for the input.

CP

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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 11:08:01 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		Guys, I was being facetious.  That's what I'm going through now since I've been collared.  The whole relationship dynamic has changed.  We went from great communication to me being told that I was only to take orders and it doesn't matter how I feel about them but they are to be done.  All I have heard is how I am to obey, and what I asked what His job was He told me that I would get the pleasure of His company when He chose to share it.  Given the choice I would have picked the good relationship we had when I was non-collared over being told that I am to be brainwashed into living to serve only Him and that my thoughts and opinions no longer matter.

_____________________________



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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 11:12:36 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I think that even if it's a case that the D type has made a decision, if the s type has anxiety about it, knowing that she can talk her feelings out can be of great benefit.

If it ever got to a point that the s type didn't feel like the D type was listening, that is a good time to have a conversation

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 11:20:42 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Celtic I was just being facetious with chamberqueen.  I think that before you commit to someone you should have a few long sitdown talks and bring everything out into the open. Making out list and going thru them is a start. I have always advocated communication in here.

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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 11:40:17 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have always advocated communication in here.


Dnomyar,

Well then lad, tho art a fine "D" indeed!

CP

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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 12:00:57 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
How in the hell does ma newbie understand the true nature of their commitment when a "D"'s hops on them right out of the vanilla box?..


CP


It is my opinion that anyone in any kind of relationship has a responsibility to him/herself to know what he/she is getting into before getting into it.

To answer the original question, I not only can be completely open to him about everything, I am required to.  Always have been, always will be.  If I didn't, I wouldn't have the place I have in his world.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 12:14:45 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		He and I can, and do, talk about anything and everything.  It's something I am not used to, and His persistance and patience in dealing with my communication issues has paid off.  It's not always easy, but I have made great strides thanks to Him.  Oh heavens, do I love this Man!

sidenote:
Were I in the situation that chamberqueen is in, I'd feel as though some sort of bait and switch game had been played on me, and I would seriously consider whether or not it was in my best interests to continue in such a relationship. 

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 12:31:44 PM   
hopelessfool


Posts: 988
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Talking about any man besides my obgyn about a yeast infection might Be hard. I love my Obgyn, trust him with my genitals and everything, but hes a doctor, he handles the situation of yeast, and various other female problems daily. Men usually even when theres open communication dont want a detailed explination of the fact that you have a yeast infection and need to treat it this... and that way untill its cleared up. I dont think its lack of open communication there, as much as squickiness. As for a change in the dynamic like something honestly drastic as to great open communication about everythin to a .. Stfu your the sub Im the dom now, Its not something Ive encountered so I can only guess how I would handle it. And that handling it would be a polite smile and a kick to his bottom on the way out my front door. My job as a sub is to serve your needs wants and whims Yes, this is very true but in return your job as my Owner is care more abot my needs then your whims... Just my two cents...

_____________________________

" I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end, You remain to make it hurt, disappear in to the dirt, carry me to heavens arms.....Dear Agony Just let go of me, suffer slowly, is this the way its gotta be, Dear Agony...."

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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 12:47:12 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Master amd i talk about everything.  Master wants me to make my needs known to him weather or not he acts on it that is another matter.  We are very open ith each other.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to hopelessfool)
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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 1:03:24 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		He's not only my Daddy but my BFF (best friend forever) like a trusted girlfriend. even before the collar, we would talk everything and anything including my medical concerns and issues about my TBI teen. He has been there to help me understand and ease my fears about her ongoing/changing conditions. i've found it easier to talk to Him about secrets that i couldn't tell my own mother. 

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 2:17:15 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Can you candidly discuss issues with your "D" now that you wear a collar. Can you discuss fantasies, tendencies toward yeast infections etc.


absolutely.  it is a requirement.
however, this slave would like to add that He isn't required to listen to this slave drone on and on with more information than necessary, and thankfully, will let her know if that occurs.

quote:

If you cannot, should you be wearing a collar?


if this slave could not, she wouldn't be wearing one.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 3:47:08 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		I'm a married submissive in a poly family and i am required to be open and honest with my M'Lady. this said there are times when she will say end of subject and i have to obey. in your example of asking into your Dom's work it may just be a end of subject for you right now. pleasing your Dom and trusting your Dom are very high on the list if not on the top, just try to separate your "wants" from your "needs". do you need to know where your Dom works or just want to. as far as emotional connectivity to your Dom you do please them and in return you will be rewarded. a special treat or being allowed on the furniture or some such. you must trust your Dom in all things and it takes some changes in oneself to do this Ive been a soldier for 20 years so i have the trust and obey down pretty well you might have to practice this to get the hang of it. just ask yourself what do i need to please my Dom, then ask yourself what do i really need for myself.

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RE: Candid convo with your "D" can you? - 3/28/2008 5:24:04 PM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		Yes I can even before the collar or wedding ring my Master is my best friend we are very open with each other. However I don't think I would talk to him about a yeast infection he wouldn't want to hear that lol.

_____________________________

Princess Andie


"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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