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Kirren -> RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ (3/29/2008 10:55:46 PM)
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So the QUESTION? Do you think it is really possible for Male Dom's and Female subs to be friends when there is flirting involved or when the friendship is emotionally involved?
I think that no matter what it is in the genetics of the human to wonder what the other person can do..what they are like physically...especially if there is a mental attachment. I think flirting is part of who we as people are...its a way of feeling out the other person...how honest they feel that they can be with us and how honest we feel that we can be with them.
Think about it...when we have sex, we are at our most vulnerable...we are naked, we are powerless, no matter who we are or what role we play in any given relationship. Our emotions and brains are laid bare to the other person...when you flirt, you show that person who you are. Nothing wrong with that. I think that the frienship can be maintained, no matter what, if the two people are honest with each other, themselves and any significant other they happen to have in their lives.
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Do you think that a Female Domme can be frineds with a Male sub and keep it STRICTLY Platonic? And do you think that they relationships can be sustained when one person is interested in the other for any reason.
I have been friends with a male sub that is on here for some time. He has even asked Me to session with him, which I know he needs because he doesnt have a Domme at this point. I told him that I wouldnt mind sessioning with him, but as with any other session, there would be no sex involved. We have never sessioned, because of distance and schedual, but we stay in touch on the regular...and even exchange advice on things in our day to day life.
I have also had other subs who have come to Me wanting a 24/7 relationship, which I can not and will not have for a few reasons (mainly that I am married and I do have kids and I have no intrest in a 24/7) and those turned into great friendships. But I think it depends on the two people and how well they maintain their boundaries.
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When Sex is involved, or rather sexual attraction, can Friendship actually be achieved?
For some it can. For others it is trickier. When D and I first met, we were the best of friends. We met on line, and chatted for a LONG time, and stayed friends for 6 years before meeting face to face, when we met face to face, I knew...I knew the instant I looked into His eyes...I wanted to sleep with Him and come hell or high water, I was gonna. And I did. We have been together for 5 years now, and we have been married for 2. We are still the BEST of friends.
I also know of another person, who has a friend, that she sleeps with regularly, (wont name names...) and they are just that, strictly friends...they get together, they get naked, they get cleaned up and go out bowling. She dates when she wants to, he dates when he wants to, what ever...and when they are dating or exclusive, they dont sleep together, they introduce each other to the s/o's and simply state that this is a friend...It seems to work out well. They dont do the jealousy thing, and they dont do the cheating with each other on some one thing. In fact I think he has a baby now, and she is getting or has gotten married, its been a few months since I have talked to them.
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Do you often think that just because the person being your friend discusses sexuality with you that they are only intersted in having sex with you?
In My case, no...I happen to have a vast amount of good ideas ( or so I think) and decent advice ( or so I think) and expeirence ( so I am told) when it comes to sex. I have made it My active area of intrest for years now, studying it in so many different ways, from books, to porn, to groups, to just asking people...I love sex...I think it is the best thing God could have ever given us...I think it is the one blessing we can all say we have...(maybe...) I have people that call Me, My sister for example, to ask Me for ideas on new positions, or to ask Me why her old man ( and for her being 30 and him being 52 he is older...) cant get it up and what she can do to help...I have gone and helped people pick out lingerie...I have given advice to My own mother on oral sex, which she thinks is gross and totally doesnt understand...lol...but I think people who ask Me about sexuality want to know what I know, or at least a portion of it. I often joke that I would like to be like Dr Ruth with a flogger. I would love LOVE to help work with people in the life style on role reversal or coming out or training..I could have sooo much fun doing that...
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How is frindship in this lifestyle supposed to be sustained in this lifestyle if everyone simply assumes the worst of the other person?
I can not say enuff that this life style, well any life style, should be based on trust, but you also have to understand the medium in which you are meeting people. You can not be 100% on the way that people will receive what you type. You miss alot in translation with no real feel for the persons tone or dialect...you dont see body language. You also have to take into account the fact that the person may have baggage from previous encounters, and may be gun shy. And speaking as a woman, if you go from talking about sports and movies to asking what a person wants in a relationship...eh...that could go either way...as if maybe you are asking for advice or maybe looking for the in. Its kind of shaky ground. But there has to be some level of trust involved on both parts. And that may not be your fault for not establishing it, it could be the persons interpretation of your actions. Also, you dont know who else they are talking to. There may be some one else that they feel a stronger chemistry with...yanno?
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