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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/29/2008 10:55:46 PM   
Kirren


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quote:


So the QUESTION? Do you think it is really possible for Male Dom's and Female subs to be friends when there is flirting involved or when the friendship is emotionally involved?


I think that no matter what it is in the genetics of the human to wonder what the other person can do..what they are like physically...especially if there is a mental attachment.  I think flirting is part of who we as people are...its a way of feeling out the other person...how honest they feel that they can be with us and how honest we feel that we can be with them.
Think about it...when we have sex, we are at our most vulnerable...we are naked, we are powerless, no matter who we are or what role we play in any given relationship. Our emotions and brains are laid bare to the other person...when you flirt, you show that person who you are. Nothing wrong with that. I think that the frienship can be maintained, no matter what, if the two people are honest with each other, themselves and any significant other they happen to have in their lives.

quote:



Do you think that a Female Domme can be frineds with a Male sub and keep it STRICTLY Platonic? And do you think that they relationships can be sustained when one person is interested in the other for any reason.


I have been friends with a male sub that is on here for some time. He has even asked Me to session with him, which I know he needs because he doesnt have a Domme at this point. I told him that I wouldnt mind sessioning with him, but as with any other session, there would be no sex involved.  We have never sessioned, because of distance and schedual, but we stay in touch on the regular...and even exchange advice on things in our day to day life.

I have also had other subs who have come to Me wanting a 24/7 relationship, which I can not and will not have for a few reasons (mainly that I am married and I do have kids and I have no intrest in a 24/7) and those turned into great friendships.  But I think it depends on the two people and how well they maintain their boundaries.

quote:



When Sex is involved, or rather sexual attraction, can Friendship actually be achieved?


For some it can. For others it is trickier. When D and I first met, we were the best of friends. We met on line, and chatted for a LONG time, and stayed friends for 6 years before meeting face to face, when we met face to face, I knew...I knew the instant I looked into His eyes...I wanted to sleep with Him and come hell or high water, I was gonna. And I did. We have been together for 5 years now, and we have been married for 2. We are still the BEST of friends.  

I also know of another person, who has a friend, that she sleeps with regularly, (wont name names...) and they are just that, strictly friends...they get together, they get naked, they get cleaned up and go out bowling. She dates when she wants to, he dates when he wants to, what ever...and when they are dating or exclusive, they dont sleep together, they introduce each other to the s/o's and simply state that this is a friend...It seems to work out well. They dont do the jealousy thing, and they dont do the cheating with each other on some one thing. In fact I think he has a baby now, and she is getting or has gotten married, its been a few months since I have talked to them.

quote:


Do you often think that just because the person being your friend discusses sexuality with you that they are only intersted in having sex with you?


In My case, no...I happen to have a vast amount of good ideas ( or so I think) and decent advice ( or so I think) and expeirence ( so I am told) when it comes to sex. I have made it My active area of intrest for years now, studying it in so many different ways, from books, to porn, to groups, to just asking people...I love sex...I think it is the best thing God could have ever given us...I think it is the one blessing we can all say we have...(maybe...) I have people that call Me, My sister for example, to ask Me for ideas on new positions, or to ask Me why her old man ( and for her being 30 and him being 52 he is older...) cant get it up and what she can do to help...I have gone and helped people pick out lingerie...I have given advice to My own mother on oral sex, which she thinks is gross and totally doesnt understand...lol...but I think people who ask Me about sexuality want to know what I know, or at least a portion of it. I often joke that I would like to be like Dr Ruth with a flogger. I would love LOVE to help work with people in the life style on role reversal or coming out or training..I could have sooo much fun doing that...
quote:


How is frindship in this lifestyle supposed to be sustained in this lifestyle if everyone simply assumes the worst of the other person?


I can not say enuff that this life style, well any life style, should be based on trust, but you also have to understand the medium in which you are meeting people. You can not be 100% on the way that people will receive what you type. You miss alot in translation with no real feel for the persons tone or dialect...you dont see body language. You also have to take into account the fact that the person may have baggage from previous encounters, and may be gun shy.  And speaking as a woman, if you go from talking about sports and movies to asking what a person wants in a relationship...eh...that could go either way...as if maybe you are asking for advice or maybe looking for the in. Its kind of shaky ground. But there has to be some level of trust involved on both parts. And that may not be your fault for not establishing it, it could be the persons interpretation of your actions. Also, you dont know who else they are talking to. There may be some one else that they feel a stronger chemistry with...yanno?  



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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 6:59:20 AM   
cjan


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Steel,

I just want to say that I'm impressed with your openess, honesty and apparent willingness to listen to other folks input in this thread. It demonstrates, imo, your sincerity in asking for input in the OP.

Also, I think there has been a lot of good input from posters in this thread. It's given me some things to consider as well.

Thanks, y'all.




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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 3:02:22 PM   
subtee


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Steel, where's the nakie?

...I thought we were friends ~sniff~

~hangs a sign: All Friends Welcome"


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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 3:49:19 PM   
domiguy


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Hmmmm.. It is a rather interesting thread. It all comes down to what is the definition of "a friend"....I have always seperated between friends and acquaintances. Few friends many acquaintances.

I am very picky about who I want to have as my friend...If I hang out with a woman she has to be a "guy's girl" not some fucking girly girl...The type of chick I want as a friend, fuckbuddy, sub is the woman who prefers the company of men over that of women. (unless we are both tappin' it) Someone that flys by the seat of her pants, wears little make-up...Just an easy going gal.

So when someone starts out saying that they are looking for friends ...My response is that hopefully we might be able to fuck our way towards a friendship cuz we ain't going out to watch the final four without me geting a blow job at halftime.


You need a friend and a companion...Buy a dog. You want a friend some companionship and some cock...Then we cool.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 3/30/2008 3:50:42 PM >


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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 10:03:51 PM   
SteelofUtah


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Domiguy,

I gotta admit usually I review your Posts looking for the Hard talking wit and a chuckle, But this time there was some wisdom in your words.

Thank you

Steel

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 10:39:58 PM   
LadyPaige


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I have no problem being "just friends" with men.  In fact, I generally like men more than women.  I have to say though that most men don't mean it when they say they want to be "just friends" and will disappear once it becomes apparent that I mean it.  I'll tell them straight up that I'm very open and I'll talk about anything, but it doesn't mean I'm interested in having sex, but they don't seem to believe me.  I've had a lot of good male friends over the years though, so it's possible.  Same goes when you're just looking for someone to play with and tell them no sex; why can't they just accept it and not push?

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 10:46:23 PM   
HerLord


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPaige

I have no problem being "just friends" with men.  In fact, I generally like men more than women.  I have to say though that most men don't mean it when they say they want to be "just friends" and will disappear once it becomes apparent that I mean it.  I'll tell them straight up that I'm very open and I'll talk about anything, but it doesn't mean I'm interested in having sex, but they don't seem to believe me.  I've had a lot of good male friends over the years though, so it's possible.  Same goes when you're just looking for someone to play with and tell them no sex; why can't they just accept it and not push?


Part of having a cock, is the necessity of learning to be smarter than the dick. People are stupid. Hence the problem.

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 10:59:45 PM   
LadyPaige


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Not sure why I even asked that.  I suppose it was just an expression of my frustration.  I spent most of my life from 17-40 surrounded by military men, so I understand man's desire to put his dick anywhere he can, it's just frustrating when someone who would have been a perfectly good friend can't get over the fact that he can't use me to get it wet.

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 11:14:33 PM   
HerLord


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*adding LadyPaige to list of commentators to look for*

Thanx...

In all I have to agree with Diurnal Vampyre. Yes, coed friendship is possible. But it usually works out better when the sex IS involved. Other than that... I have no basis of aswering this/these questions, cuz... well my freinds don't like me, but they stick around because I fuck like a Greek God and cook like a limpwristed frenchman.

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 11:32:09 PM   
LadyPaige


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*chuckling* I can see the Friend w/Benefits working out with the FwB since as I've said, I understand men in general are just happy for a place to put it, but picture the other side of the conversation.

"Yes, I'm looking for a serious, long term relationship.  Because I'm looking for something serious and long term I want to take our time and get to kow each other before jumping into bed and having mind blowing kinky sex because once we do that it'll be all you can think of.  I know it might be hard for you since I'm such a sensual desirable creature, but it'll be easy enough for me since I have a friend who takes care of my sexual needs.  But don't worry, if things work out with us I'll stop having sex with him.  You won't mind if we all stay friends, would you?"

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 11:39:30 PM   
petitespitfire64


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Hey Steel...ummm...wanna be FRIENDS??? *waggles eyebrows*

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 11:42:19 PM   
HerLord


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPaige

*chuckling*  You won't mind if we all stay friends, would you?"


LMMFAO.
*adjusting list to move LP to top*

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"People as a whole think they want to hear the truth, until they hear it." -Stormism

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 11:44:04 PM   
CalifChick


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From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord
well my freinds don't like me, but they stick around because I fuck like a Greek God and cook like a limpwristed frenchman.


Hellloooooooooooooooooo there, how YOU doin? <-- said in best Joey voice she can muster

Cali


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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 11:45:52 PM   
HerLord


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord
well my freinds don't like me, but they stick around because I fuck like a Greek God and cook like a limpwristed frenchman.


Hellloooooooooooooooooo there, how YOU doin? <-- said in best Joey voice she can muster

Cali



Dammit Cali... You are the front page of my list. Oh and how's the BJ thread?  I should go look.
*edited to add*
[ /hijack]

< Message edited by HerLord -- 3/30/2008 11:46:36 PM >


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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/30/2008 11:58:15 PM   
LadyPaige


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BJ thread? *perks up*  I went to a "class" on BJ's once thinking, who knows?  maybe I'll learn a little something new.  Nahhh, it was given by fem doms and it was more about strap-on use than anything else.  You'd have thought they'd have at least given some advice about the gag reflex.... *shakes head* (polically correct statement here.... I've nothing against fem Dommes, just hadn't factored the different interests in when I went to the class so I was disappointed)

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/31/2008 12:35:46 AM   
Leatherist


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Uh huh, throatin rubber cock ain't quite the same-is it?

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/31/2008 12:54:34 AM   
HerLord


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Joined: 2/14/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPaige

BJ thread? *perks up*  I went to a "class" on BJ's once thinking, who knows?  maybe I'll learn a little something new.  Nahhh, it was given by fem doms and it was more about strap-on use than anything else.  You'd have thought they'd have at least given some advice about the gag reflex.... *shakes head* (polically correct statement here.... I've nothing against fem Dommes, just hadn't factored the different interests in when I went to the class so I was disappointed)

Dear Cali

Sorry, but it is not an instructional forum... However you could definately ask...

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/31/2008 1:08:12 AM   
MissMagnolia


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Uh huh, throatin rubber cock ain't quite the same-is it?


Thank you. I now have the visual of someone gobbling down one of those revolting rubber chickens that magicians/comedians used to use.

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/31/2008 1:11:31 AM   
HerLord


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LOL... Thanx... just what i needed. to spill my coke all over the keys...

I thought there was a law or something round these parts about warnings and such on this type of hilarity...

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RE: ~~Let's be Friends.....Now can I see you Naked??~~ - 3/31/2008 1:16:19 AM   
faithfulfemme


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Joined: 5/24/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HerLord


Part of having a cock, is the necessity of learning to be smarter than the dick. People are stupid. Hence the problem.



.......**standing in line to become one of HerLord's thread groupies**.......

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