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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/29/2008 8:28:48 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I believe everyone should be treated politely, but you do not get respect just becasue you want it. If you cant act respectful, I do not care who you are or how long you've been that way you arent going to get it. I lose resect for anyone who tells me they deserve it... if you have to announce that you deserve respect thats probably becasue its the only way you might get it. As for honorifics... I dont refer to ANYONE as Sir or Maam unless they have a higher belt than me in the martial arts, or they are a customer and paying my wages. So, unless you are going to either pay me or kick my ass... you can demand al the honorifics you want and I will endeavor to keep a straight face when I call you a title you might not appreciate quite so much.

DV


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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/29/2008 8:29:37 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Rank based on possition (usually militarfy these days) in my book gets automatic respect .. The Rank that is, NOT the person wearing it. Personal respect needs be earned. Age is no reason to demand anything other than a fair go and not be discriminates against on age basis.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)


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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/29/2008 9:16:00 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		If she has not learned self-control, self-Mastery and courtesy to others in all that time, clearly she's doing it wrong.  

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/29/2008 9:24:40 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I give courtesy at first meet until given a reason otherwise.  Respect? Nahhhh. 

Cali


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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/29/2008 10:06:33 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

Do you think a title, age and experience automatically give one respect?


Absolutely not.

quote:

Or should their actions towards others determine respect?

Yes.

I try to be respectful to others...... but they have to earn my respect.
 
 


That's exactly what I was going to write, but you beat me to it.  Well said.  I'm of the mindset that I will treat a person with respect until they either prove they deserve it, in which case I treat them with more respect, or they prove they don't deserve it, at which point I will try to be civil and avoid that particular person like the plague.

< Message edited by NakedOnMyChain -- 3/29/2008 10:07:39 PM >

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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 3:14:09 AM   
Goddess2002


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline 		There's a bid difference between demanding respect and commanding it through one's actions. To command respect takes time and consistency with behavior that is respectful to others.

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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 3:27:50 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Courtisy and good manner are something which should be epected unless attitudes, language and actions indicate otherwise. I may have to be at the same place and time with one or more people who i do not respenc and have no time for. I will still treat them with the same courtesy and good manners for why should I lower myself to their standard? The obvious difference between their behavbiour and mine will tell a better story than 10,000 words.  I aply this even to my enemies.. They and others know that I wish them  ill health and a short life. No need to be ill mannered about it though it wouldn't be cricker now would it?

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)



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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 3:54:57 AM   
mastervalentine


Posts: 157
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline 		I try to treat everybody with respect, wether or not they deserve it. Being polite and courteous costs me nothing, and nobody of any merit will think less of me for it.

Treating someone poorly is like calling myself a bastard from every mountain top. Everyone will know me for what I have proclaimed myself to be. 
Holding hatred and ill will is like drinking a bitter poison and hoping someone else feels the results. All I will know is the taste of my own bitterness.
At the end of the day, I am always myself. Better to cultivate that person than to focus on destroying another. For even should I succeed, I will be ruined in the process.

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Say not, 'I have found the truth,' but rather, 'I have found a truth.' Kahlil Gibran

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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 3:58:57 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I have been visiting another forum and a dominant in the lifestyle has caused a stir. She is very adamant because she is 62 and has 45 years of experience that she is due honorifics and automatically is due respect. I know because she repeatedly states" I have 45 years of experience and should be treated accordingly."


Boy...you guys are vicious!!! I mean...45 yrs of experience should count for something (hands the Grand Domme her daily dose of Geritol). She DESERVES respect, damnit! *slams hand on table...knocks over glass containing Dommes teeth...oops...sorry*. Now you young whippersnappers might find her to be rude and condescending, but how pleasant would YOU be if your Depends are chaffing your ass? 

Sheeeeesh.

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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 4:05:13 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I respect everyone who behaves in a way that deserves resepct, I dont need to be told to respect someone. But I respect people even when I dont agree with them and all that. I dont think experiance or age means that you should respect someone because that implies that you therefore shouldnt respect young people with no experiance. People should get respect for how they hold themselves and who they are and what they are like, especially online where we dont really know who is typing on the other side of the screen, you have to let their words speak for them. Anyone who bangs on about anything that they are/have and say that people should treat them accordingly are frustrating because everyone should be treated the same until they do something that either means you respect them or dont. 

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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 4:30:51 AM   
pyrobabe


Posts: 53
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		I like to follow this rule. Treat others how you wish to be treated. Unless they do something to piss you off or strike a pet peeve. I believe everyone deserves respect unless they show they aren't worthy of it.

Just because someone calls themselves Master/Mistress it doesn't mean that they are qualified to be your Master/Mistress. As a sub/slave your Master/Mistress should stir the desire to submit, and be somebody that you can look up to with respect, which only shows as you get to know each other. Only time will tell.

Master and I have a saying "The only way to be a great Master/Mistress, is to have served as a great slave first."

Mistress Carol

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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 4:39:30 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		~~FR~~

i think there is a difference between respect and courtesy. I try to be courtious to everyone (with the exception of those i am rude to) but respect is earned

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 6:43:15 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pyrobabe


Master and I have a saying "The only way to be a great Master/Mistress, is to have served as a great slave first."


You'll find a lot of people that won't agree with that, but if it works for you, that's a good thing.

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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 6:53:07 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		you could have 50 or 10yrs of experience in your kink life but it doesn't mean you'll automatically get respect from me.

imho, respect (like trust) has to be earned and it goes both ways too. 

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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 6:54:29 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pyrobabe
Master and I have a saying "The only way to be a great Master/Mistress, is to have served as a great slave first."

Mistress Carol


I've seen some very good tops come by that route, but I've also seen some remarkably lousy ones.  The problem seems to be that some come out of it with the attitude "I don't have to communicate.  I know what a bottom wants; I was one."  Not a receipe for success.

Much of this may come from the fact that this was the model adopted by those we refer to as The Old Guard.  However, many see their "you must serve first" as a simple con job so that the old farts had plenty of young guys to fuck.



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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 6:59:57 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyrobabe
Master and I have a saying "The only way to be a great Master/Mistress, is to have served as a great slave first."

Mistress Carol

"I don't have to communicate.  I know what a bottom wants; I was one."  Not a receipe for success.


So true, thats the problem though people seem to assume that they know whats going on in other peoples minds, its like the whole "ill smack you, oh no wait your a sub so you will like that" you what? cant we have our own tastes and stuff? Knowledge that we gain is knowledge for ourself it is rarely applicable to other people, just because something works for us doesnt mean it will work for all.


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There would be no gossip without secrets
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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 7:01:52 AM   
Exquemelin


Posts: 113
Joined: 2/2/2007
From: CT
Status: offline 		Does she realize this is the internet? I mean I could go take two minutes and create an 80 year old dominant with 60 years of expierence. Respect the the figment of my imagination, he's got 60 years of expierence.

Ex


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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 7:17:04 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

~~FR~~

i think there is a difference between respect and courtesy. I try to be courtious to everyone (with the exception of those i am rude to) but respect is earned



This reflects my thought process on the subject 100%.

Yes I know we've beat this dead horse into dust on these threads. I kow different people have vastly opposing views on the word "respect". However, I could count on one hand the number of people I respect. Courtesy is something I try to extend to everyone until they've removed their right for it, from me. Many tend to do that as soon as they open their mouths or start typing on here.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 7:28:39 AM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		I give everyone a certain amount of respect. in certain cases where more request in required (ie. my boss) they get more. after they get this "free" amout of respect from me they have to show me that it is not misplaced, or they can earn more.

someone demanding my respect automaticly looses a great measure. I respect many new Dom and many slaves/subs more than I do many so-called Doms.

just my 2 pennies to rub together...

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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 8:03:11 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		damn...wrong forum


< Message edited by sirsholly -- 3/30/2008 8:05:13 AM >

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 40
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