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RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 8:23:49 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Nope. If someone announces that they deserve respect, it usually lowers the amount of respect I would have given them automatically.

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Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 41

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 8:48:04 AM

ThinkingKitten

Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline

OP: Why don't you send the nice lady a polite invite to come and participate in these forums? We'd love to have her.

Errr. Um. On second thoughts, maybe not....

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If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

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Post #: 42

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 9:17:38 AM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Nope. If someone announces that they deserve respect, it usually lowers the amount of respect I would have given them automatically.

But.....but....I am a 15th level Warrior Ninja Assassin, God-Emperor of All Kinkdom, and you must ALWAYS call me by my rightful title of High Lord Master Grand Poohbah of the Known Universe (Except That Part of Poughkeepsie Which Nobody Wants Anyways)! *pouts*

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 43

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 9:18:55 AM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Nope. If someone announces that they deserve respect, it usually lowers the amount of respect I would have given them automatically.

But.....but....I am a 15th level Warrior Ninja Assassin, God-Emperor of All Kinkdom, and you must ALWAYS call me by my rightful title of High Lord Master Grand Poohbah of the Known Universe (Except That Part of Poughkeepsie Which Nobody Wants Anyways)! *pouts*

LMAO - BTW love the signature as well, but can we play 2nd Ed, never liked the the D20 version <big grin>

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 44

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 9:20:06 AM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

~FR~ Everyone deserves courtesy, not respect, and that is only at first. Some very quickly throw out the right to courtesy from me also.

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This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to Deliena)

Post #: 45

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 9:54:00 AM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Deliena

LMAO - BTW love the signature as well, but can we play 2nd Ed, never liked the the D20 version <big grin>

Yeah, I tend to call safeword on anything past 2nd Ed.

But the actual D20 system (not D&D, separate system) works okay and is pretty versatile. I can go with that or with Gurps.

(in reply to Deliena)

Post #: 46

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 10:02:50 AM

Deliena

Posts: 623
Joined: 6/16/2007
From: Darlington, United Kingdom
Status: offline

GURPS - oh my Lord! It's been a while, although I've got a Rolemaster set that could do with a dust off....... :D

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 47

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 10:15:18 AM

marz0413

Posts: 3
Joined: 3/26/2008
Status: offline

Everyone is entitled to a level of politeness when meeting, i give that to all. Respect, however, like trust must be earned over time.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 48

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 10:18:01 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

She is not showing respect to others so why should she be given any?

Because how we treat others says more about us than about them... do either of you realize that?

quote:

Do you think a title, age and experience automatically give one respect?

Sometimes... why do we tend to open doors or show extra courtesy to the elderly if not because of their age? Why do we tend to look to those who have worked at something for years for advice on how that should be done if not for their experience? If you were actually invited to the royal court of England for an audience with the queen herself... would you not bow as instructed, address her as instructed... all because this is due her title? (Granted, I might not... but you get my point.)

quote:

Or should their actions towards others determine respect?

I think that was a rhetorical question. But here's another... if someone has earned a title, or spent time accumulating experience... are these not actions to be respected? Is this not beneath that respect for the elderly... because on some level we assume they've earned some measure of it over the years?

Course... then there's the question of whether someone actually does have experience or titles... or how they've lived all those years. Never said this was going to be simple.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 49

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 10:34:56 AM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

you would be polite to the queen because of her title - not her personally. Just like you would be polite to george jr - because he is the president, not because of who he is, or is not.

Holly - you are a BAD woman - geritol and teeth indeed!!! (grins)

Since this is the internet, and she is on a forum, why doesn't everyone just ignore her posts, and get on with it./ You don't actually have to read posts - do you????? Do the post police set a test after the fact and you get 40 lashes if you fail - oh- wait - half of us would fail deliberately and the other half would be arguing about who gets to do the lashing.. my bad, have to think up new punishment. hmmmmm.

and what forum are we talking about??

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 50

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 10:44:40 AM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

Greetings O' High Lord Master Grand Poohbah of the Known Universe (Except That Part of Poughkeepsie Which Nobody Wants Anyways)!

How's it shaking? I like the new pic :O)

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 51

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 10:51:49 AM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

I try to treat everyone with respect. It has nothing to do with BDSM, it's just the way I was raised. I know several Doms, who I feel are total asshats, but I still treat them with respect when forced upon them in public. If someone is being rude, and I am rude back, that makes me as bad as they are. There are times, when my true feelings come out, because I am also human and make many mistakes, but for the most part I try to behave and be polite.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 52

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 11:45:51 AM

Smoothicen

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/16/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I have been visiting another forum and a dominant in the lifestyle has caused a stir. She is very adamant because she is 62 and has 45 years of experience that she is due honorifics and automatically is due respect. I know because she repeatedly states" I have 45 years of experience and should be treated accordingly." My thing is that she is very rude and condescending to others. She is not showing respect to others so why should she be given any? Do you think a title, age and experience automatically give one respect? Or should their actions towards others determine respect?

In my opinion, no one deserves automatic respect....especially not anyone who demands it as their right!

If someone wants my respect, they earn it by being respectful themselves and acting in such a way as to encourage my respect and that of others. The same applies to me.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 53

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 12:06:17 PM

metalmiss

Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline

Nobody has the right to demand respect no matter what their excuse.. It is something that must be earned regardless of age, status or how she chooses to title herself.
Respect is a two way street.. if she is giving none then in turn she should expect to recieve none.

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Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 54

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 1:40:10 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

The only problem with not showing a level of respect automaticly is the impression you give to someone who really has been around, done stuff, contributed to what you have today, etc.

I know a woman who is adjusting to the idea of not being shown the level of respect she had become accustomed to.
This woman had worked for a long time with a group that had provided one of two top level local play and education spaces, she had been involved in the start up of an event that had served for many as an eucational forum where they got there start.

Burn out and other things had left her going private, later other things brought her back out and she floundered for awhile.
all her "cache" built up respect for things she had done, the knowledge she had built up and shared etc, had disappeared as the folks she had been around to introduce and educate years ago were in many cases no longer involved in the community. Took her awhile to adjust to the idea that, Yes she had paid the dues, worked for the community but the community has a short memory sometimes.

Years spent earning respect, for naught because young/new folks knowing nothing about what she had done years ago not giving her her due respect because the actions building that respect had been forgotten. Now she has made some adjustment but it still stings a bit for her to see some of the folks she remembers coaching a bit when they were new, and people she taught skills to years ago, being accorded respect from those same new folks who treat her as if she has to prove to them she deserves that added respect.

So the other side of the Nobody gets respect from me untiol they prove it, is remember you are going to have to deal with the same thing. Write a book, present classes, mentor dozens of folks but that record means nothing because the new guy who just walks in can fall back on the You don't get his respect until you prove yourself to him.

(in reply to metalmiss)

Post #: 55

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 1:54:13 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Same thing happens in other groups, organizations and subcultures. I had a top public profile for years in another statre being one of the founders of Wicca there. Taught and personally trained people who arew now running covens in a number of states and even lectured when I was holidaying in one state or another. I move to Queensland which has the attitude that if you weren't born or lived there you don't matter. Didn't matter what the majority of various forums said about it I was and still am an outsider. happens too because some people, newer ones just looking like starting their own group get scared of anyone they don;'t know who may know more or have more expoerience. Bet that happens here too. Will be a very few folks here in CM now who remember me brfore I left for a couple of years. Life goes on and you always have to re-establish yourself. It can be as hard as you want to make it or you can just do what you do well and what you used to do and let the new ones watch and realise you might know what you are doing. I pretty well live my life in dealing with people following my motto on the siggy line.

Iron Bear
Master of Bruin Cottage
(A Victorian Lifestyle poly home)

"I judge a Man by what I see him do and not by what others tell me he does." (Captain Sir Edward Pellew of the HMS Indefatigable to Midshipman Hornblower ~ C.S. Forrester)

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 56

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 1:58:14 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: metalmiss

Nobody has the right to demand respect no matter what their excuse.. It is something that must be earned regardless of age, status or how she chooses to title herself.
Respect is a two way street.. if she is giving none then in turn she should expect to recieve none.

To give the view from the other side of the coin from My girl there....

The only person in a position to demand ANYTHING of her.... is Me, I Own her.

There are a couple of aquaintences of Mine where she was told she would refer to them in a set manner.... They have earned MY respect therefor My girl will reflect that. Usualy however, so far she has found that those people have soon shown themselves worthy of that respect and it soon is there from her own perceptions of them rather than from her trust in My judgement. But there THEY haven't demanded anything (And would have lost some of My respect had they done so, she is Mine, not Theirs) *I* did.

I expect a certain level of politenes when people wish to interact with Me, if I don't get it I don't try to demand it.... I just have no further dealings with them. Just as they don't need to put up with bad attitude, neither do I.

I also don't expect My girl to put up with it just because some numpty chooses to announce himself as domly doesn't give him any rights over My girl. If they don't like it they are free to complain to Me about it..... which might be a mistake as I tend to be rather more abrupt than she is ;)

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to metalmiss)

Post #: 57

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 3:16:23 PM

OnlyMels

Posts: 115
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline

No body deserves respect unless they earn it. Doesn't matter who you are or how much experience you have.

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Low riders are for little boys who can't get it up.

Saw it, wanted it, threw a fit, Got It!!

Want to get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 58

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 3:54:24 PM

travelgman

Posts: 187
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

I tend to show everyone a basic form of respect and sometimes will use Sir and Mamn just when talking to people off the street. A lot of that is due to how I was raised and a few years of JROTC in High School. But also being courteous to people just seems the best way to do things to me and makes people relate to you better than if you are rude to them for no reason.

I will say that it does seem sometimes that basic courtesies have gone out the window in todays society many times. That people are just plain old rude and condescending for no reason other than they can get away it. Geez I sound like my Dad . But nonetheless it is true.

Having said that. The kind of respect this person is demanding is something that goes beyond common courtesies and basic respect. And as has been stated takes time to be earned. I give no one that kind of respect until I see they deserve it regardless of their titles. Just as an example. Why do some doctors think they deserve to be called Doctor so and so away from their job. So your a doctor. Big freaking deal.. Your just Mr or Ms so and so to me. But it seems like the person you are talking about wants this kind of respect. Makes me wonder if she has any kind of life outside of the lifestyle or if lifestyle functions are the only place she ever gets any respect.

I went to the cave. The dragon egg wouldn't load. Wonders if anyone is interested in a game of Awful Green Things From Outer Space.

< Message edited by travelgman -- 3/30/2008 3:56:36 PM >

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Post #: 59

RE: Automatic respect? - 3/30/2008 4:06:49 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

I'm a submissive and i agree that everyone should be given a basic level of respect, but as far as demanding it that would make me go the other way. i feel that the respect you get is proportional to the respect you yourself give.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 60

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