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RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/30/2008 11:09:21 AM

vampchick88

Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline

I loved being able to actually thank my sub. I've been around people in my past who were rude assholes. pet did shock me and I'm still a bit stunned by his kindness. He was so kind, except for the first day when I arrived at night a bit jetlagged and feeling a bit queasy from the flight. We stopped at walmart and he looked at me right in the eye and said "Your not letting me do my job" I was completely bewildered and asked what? He replied "Your not letting me open the car door for you, thats a job I take pride in" I was so taken back and tried to remember. I must sadly admit that I thought for sure that this would only take place the first few days or that he would forget....nope every single time like clockwork he would happily walk around to my side of the car, open the door, smile and offer his hand to help me up. I constanly was thanking him.

He also cooked a chicken sandwich up for me, as he asked for me to sit at the table and he would serve me. He constantly showed courtesy and always got praise and thanked for all that he did. What can I say, he's definately a keeper.

~Lorelei

_____________________________

Proud owner of rubberpet, the best investment of my time, trust, and heart that any Domme could ever dream of.

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Post #: 21

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/30/2008 11:19:47 AM

longjohnsilver

Posts: 15
Joined: 3/5/2008
Status: offline

When i'm with a Domme, i don't expect any thanks, and it doesn't bother me not to get any. But those who are able, from that position, to thank, and even sometimes to apologize, are always appreciated, and elevated in my mind.

Edit: Oops, forgot this was the Ask a Mistress board as i just open them all up at the same time. Apologies.

< Message edited by longjohnsilver -- 3/30/2008 11:21:11 AM >

(in reply to vampchick88)

Post #: 22

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/30/2008 11:54:03 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

I can speak from both sides of the fence here. When I was a dominant, I thanked my submissives, always. Sometimes this was for nice things they did for me, but often this was just for being caring, loving partners and for being people who I respected. As a submissive myself, I certainly appreciate receiving thanks from my partner, whether this be verbally or just a physical caress. I don't always expect thanks for the things I do, but if I never hear any words of encouragement, praise, or affection, it can feel a little cold and I'll admit, I'm less motivated. Physical or verbal gestures of thanks are a wonderful motivator and they are also a lovely way to tell someone "I love you" or "I appreciate you". In my opinion, courtesy and politeness are attributes that wear well on all people, and they certainly help keep the gears of romance in a relationship well oiled and running smoothly.

Elan.

< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 3/30/2008 12:42:08 PM >

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 23

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/30/2008 12:31:05 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSakura

Do you believe in thanking your submissive/slave? If yes, how so and how often. If not, why?

I absolutely do. It's just good manners to thank someone if they do something for you. After a scene I've been known to kiss him and say "Thank you, pet, that was wonderful." And really, I do get plenty out of it even if it's not a sexual scene, so I suppose I'm thanking him for the smile it always puts on my face to see him submit.

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 24

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/30/2008 1:39:24 PM

LadyJeelys

Posts: 99
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline

It depends...I say "thank you" habitually because of where I was raised. But I don't always thank secondary. I can't speak for him (darn it), but it just seems like he enjoys being the "unappreciated"

Sooo, I keep my thanks and appreciation to moments when it counts. Rather that works or not....well, you'd have to ask him :)

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 25

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/30/2008 2:42:25 PM

BlackSakura

Posts: 131
Joined: 7/23/2006
Status: offline

Great! Thank you all for your responces. ^_^ I naturally thank my subbies for what they do for me as I also do not equate dominace with rudness. ^_^

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Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away, and you have their shoes!

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Post #: 26

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/30/2008 6:07:00 PM

bipolarber

Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline

Etiquette and being polite is a sign of superior behavior and upbringing. Just sayin'...

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Post #: 27

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/30/2008 10:00:32 PM

MistresssAria

Posts: 165
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline

I ALWAYS say thank you, Pro session or not!!!!!

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~*~*~Mistress Aria~*~*~

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Post #: 28

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/30/2008 10:08:56 PM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

I definately say thank you and please to my submissives .. I do not think it diminishes my authority at all.... I do not equate rudeness with dominance.

I also want them to know that I appreciate their submiting to me and thus their service ... Manners count even for a Dominant.

< Message edited by MissHarlet -- 3/30/2008 10:10:20 PM >

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Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to MistresssAria)

Post #: 29

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/30/2008 11:41:37 PM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSakura

Do you believe in thanking your submissive/slave? If yes, how so and how often. If not, why?

Is water wet ?
Politeness cost nothing, and it encourage anyone whom you thank for what ever they done for You!
It's like with kids, reward the good
*EG*

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 30

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/31/2008 12:45:13 AM

undergroundsea

Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

Sure, dominance does not equate with rudeness, and I don't think not saying thank you necessarily equates with rudeness in a BDSM relationship. If I am generally comfortable that a domme appreciates me and is respectful of me, a thank you for each and everything I do is unnecessary and accepting my service in itself thanks me. In fact, a lack of thank you can even enhance the submissive mindset for me--the sentiment that I see behind such a response is not that my act of service is unappreciated but that it is the natural course of things and the service is to be expected.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 31

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/31/2008 4:50:49 AM

MissLily

Posts: 146
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

I pretty much always thank My subs after a chat or play. I do it because I honnestly find it's the polite thing to do and manners are important to Me, but also because, after a play, they made themselves vulnerable for My pleasure. That is a gift. Also, being reasured after a play is, I think important for a sub. I believe in respect on both sides, and that is a way for Me to express it.

Miss Lily

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 32

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/31/2008 6:32:01 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Saying thank you is part of my upbrining. I always try to give little gifts also. I look at it as another way to say thanks.

(in reply to MissLily)

Post #: 33

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/31/2008 8:13:16 AM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Saying thank you is part of my upbrining. I always try to give little gifts also. I look at it as another way to say thanks.

It is very much a part of mine also ..... and a part I dont wish to change ....I may not say thank you for every single thing that is done .. but overall it is said a lot

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 34

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/31/2008 1:58:10 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSakura

Do you believe in thanking your submissive/slave? If yes, how so and how often. If not, why?

Yes, absolutely. More often I phrase things in the terms of praise but I also believe in saying "Thank you". When a sub (mine or someone else's) is serving me I often thank them when they offer me something or do a task. It's a polite acknowledgement of their effort, expressing approval from the dominant position and appreciation from the just the human exchange.

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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

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(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 35

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/31/2008 2:06:38 PM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

Yes I do, I thank everyone for things they do for Me, whether expected or asked, it is a way of letting them know I notice and am thankful for them and the task--My sub is no different.

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Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 36

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/31/2008 3:03:14 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

Yes, I thank him. I also thank God for him every single day.

MoGa

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Post #: 37

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/31/2008 3:06:12 PM

MsDonnaMia

Posts: 95
Joined: 6/30/2007
Status: offline

They're the ones usually thanking me, and I'm usually saying, "oh, you're MOST welcome." ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackSakura

Do you believe in thanking your submissive/slave? If yes, how so and how often. If not, why?

(in reply to BlackSakura)

Post #: 38

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/31/2008 4:35:50 PM

secondary

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline

As a slave, I liked being thanked in a certain tone. A casual "thanks slave" or "thanks boy" reconfirms my lower status more than being ignored or being snapped at. My slave position is subtlely but surely re-inforced.

(in reply to vampchick88)

Post #: 39

RE: Do you thank your sub? - 3/31/2008 5:01:25 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

I always thank anyone who ever does anything for me, from slaves to family to work mates to the little kid who held a door open for me.

It's the way I was brought up. Good manners and appreciation were everything.

I concur. Daddy thanks me when I do something that He appreciates or finds helpful. I, in turn, thank my gem when she does thoughtful things for me, like cooking something nice when I go visit her for dinner, etc.

I also thank Daddy when He does something I find thoughtful. My gem does the same when I do for her. She thanked me over and over for her birthday lunch Saturday. It was nice to let my girl know her day was important to me, too.

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Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to MissMagnolia)

Post #: 40

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