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RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/8/2008 5:47:50 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trueshadow
 

But, as statistics have borne out time and time again, liberals are quite stingy with charity.  Conservatives are much more generous.  I don't know why that is, but I see a glimpse here.

I've just learned a heck of a lot in the past 20 minutes, more so than in years of being in the community.
quote:

http://www.arthurbrooks.net/excerpt.html


Its wonderful that you are such an esteemed psychic that you know whether everyone here is a liberal or conservative (because of course political theory only falls into liberal or conservative).

BTW, more specifically examined religious conservatives and secular liberals and their giving - but again since you magically know who is a religious conservative and a secular liberal... can you tell me what the powerball numbers are?

C~ the soon to be rich!

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 4/8/2008 5:49:46 PM >


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
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(in reply to trueshadow)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/8/2008 6:05:36 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
quote:

Your dog story reinforces your curious lack of feeling. Whoopee! The dog could have been injured whether the driver was speeding or not! You use this as an excuse to avoid helping. Good for you! Leaves no ambiguity as to who you are.


No ....it meant I made a decision on where my help can be put to the best use, instead one helping one with a clueless owner who who likely  allow it to become injured again or killed because they failed to see that they are at fault for not preventing to dog from being able to go on  the road in the first place and because of that they are not willing to suck it up and pay their own vet bills and expect others to do it for them because they refuse to accept blame not because they were unable to afford.... I instead helped 40 dogs  who I knew would get the most benefit from my aid who truly needed it.....maybe your a fool for not understanding the difference in providing aid and enabling users

I run a business in which a part of my proceeds I donate,  I get request for aid often,  I cannot help every single animal or person  so I have to choose where my efforts will do the most good ...that does not mean I lack feeling or empathy,  I could donate everything I own and leave  myself and my pets pennyiless, homeless  and starving  and their still will be those that need help desperately, what would I achieve by doing so ??? 
And unless you are a multi billionaire I am pretty sure you are selective in what aid you provide and to whom and how much ....why are not others allowed to do the same without being attacked ??   Maybe you need to get off your mighty high horse and quit telling others what they should do and attack them for not helping ....if you are such an extraordinary  angel of mercy then why don't you contact the OP and have her put you in contact with the Dom and  so you go there and take her place to care and perform for him instead of spouting off and putting every one else down.    HMMM bet you won't .....which would prove my point quite well....meaning you just like playing holier than thou with everyone



And nothing in the OP's post indicated the Dom was dying he does not even know "IF" he has cancer .... he treated her like crap when they were together .....why should she now owe him  anything especially when they no longer have a relationship together.......  Let me ask you a question ... if someone violated you or your family member ....example raped your daughter ....and then you learned he was dying ... can you honestly tell me that you would make sacrifices to go way out of you way to tend to this person fulltime even if it meant emotional trauma to your daughter??  but you expect the OP to do this???

The OP's situation is not that extreme granted  ... but she has been violated in the past by this person and his request would cause  emotional trauma and making huge sacrifices for him that could jeopardize her future ....on a chance maybe he has cancer whuch even if he had may not even be life threatening ....plain and simple he is exploiting her and her good nature


_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to trueshadow)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/8/2008 6:16:06 PM   
shigglyboom


Posts: 110
Joined: 10/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trueshadow

quote:

ORIGINAL: shigglyboom

Trueshadow,


As for the "conservatives are more generous" argument - that's a piece of fluff based on far too little evidence to be so widely tauted these days by those who would like it to be true.

Shig



It's a fact conservatives are more generous. Liberals don't give because charity is 'government work'.

"In 2000, households headed by a conservative gave, on average, 30 percent more money to charity than households headed by a liberal ($1,600 to $1,227). This discrepancy is not simply an artifact of income differences; on the contrary, liberal families earned an average of 6 percent more per year than conservative families, and conservative families gave more than liberal families within every income class, from poor to middle class to rich.
If we look at party affiliation instead of ideology, the story remains largely the same. For example, registered Republicans were seven points more likely to give at least once in 2002 than registered Democrats (90 to 83 percent).
The differences go beyond money and time. Take blood donations, for example. In 2002, conservative Americans were more likely to donate blood each year, and did so more often, than liberals. If liberals and moderates gave blood at the same rate as conservatives, the blood supply in the United States would jump by about 45 percent."

"Among the states in which 60 percent or more voted for Bush, the average portion of income donated to charity was 3.5 percent. For states giving Mr. Bush less than 40 percent of the vote, the average was 1.9 percent. The average amount given per household from the five states combined that gave Mr. Bush the highest vote percentages in 2003 was 25 percent more than that donated by the average household in the five northeastern states that gave Bush his lowest vote percentages; and the households in these liberal-leaning states earned, on average, 38 percent more than those in the five conservative states."

etc. etc. etc.

http://www.arthurbrooks.net/excerpt.html


Shadowed Truth,

Without taking this thread any further from the OP, I suggest you might look further than a single source before you make ringing generalizations about Americans' generosity. One can carefully tailor statistics and examples to demonstrate almost any argument, but that doesn't make it true. The wiser among us will refrain from judgment until there is a comprehensive body of evidence, not just skeletons and sensationalism.

Perhaps if there's further debate on this and the shockingly appalling lack of empathy among BDSMers you've discovered, it should take place in a new thread under "Off Topic".

< Message edited by shigglyboom -- 4/8/2008 6:19:06 PM >

(in reply to trueshadow)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/8/2008 8:11:20 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline
It could be that the man in question is a louse and using non-existant cancer to swindle somebody.  What set me off was no one thought he might be telling the truth, and was afraid; instead, the uniform reaction was, so what?  The man could be dying and is reaching out one last time.  But...so what?  A job is much more important than a dying man!

This reminds me of the parable told in Luke of the Good Samaritan.  Many walked by a severely wounded man, but the Samaritan stopped and help a total stranger.  It is a powerful message that we need to have compassion for our fellow travelers, who, like us, are here for such a short period of time. 

Perhaps a few of you could have spared a word of concern or empathy to the man, that's all I'm saying. 

I hope I would.  

Remember, none of you knew this man, just as the Samaritan did not know the wounded stranger. 

I will end my posting on this thread, for I have explained myself enough.  In general, replies to my first posts have been thoughtful and I appreciate that. 

< Message edited by trueshadow -- 4/8/2008 8:12:25 PM >

(in reply to shigglyboom)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/8/2008 8:57:52 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
In the OP "He has already told you there will be no argument about you coming back"
 
He may be scared, but that doesn't give him the right to try and control an ex. He is not reaching out for help, he is demanding it from someone who already left his life.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/8/2008 8:58:39 PM >


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to trueshadow)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/10/2008 7:58:26 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trueshadow
The man could be dying and is reaching out one last time. 
He's not asking that she reach out. He's demanding that she become involved in a relationship with him and in the process give up what she has worked for. There's a very large difference between the two. She can "reach out" and not be expected to give up everything she has worked for. But, you seem to have hard time seeing that she can refuse to give into his demands and still reach out, be a shoulder and be support.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to trueshadow)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/10/2008 9:19:20 AM   
clearlightblack


Posts: 107
Joined: 3/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trueshadow
This reminds me of the parable told in Luke of the Good Samaritan.  Many walked by a severely wounded man, but the Samaritan stopped and help a total stranger.  It is a powerful message that we need to have compassion for our fellow travelers, who, like us, are here for such a short period of time. 

Perhaps a few of you could have spared a word of concern or empathy to the man, that's all I'm saying. 

I hope I would.  

Remember, none of you knew this man, just as the Samaritan did not know the wounded stranger. 


I am sorry I have not responsed to this thread.  The new job has kept me very busy. I forgot what 12-14 hours days were like.....we are still waiting for results....I say we because I still call him and make sure he is well.....

I have to answer this......because......well.....anyone can be the man who was robbed on the side of the road and left for dead........

I appreciate the people who have encouraged me to think of myself before giving away the life I have created without my ex-Master. Thank you for seeing me as the one asking for help.  I have been so use to being the one who was the one who accepted abuse or accepted being invisible when others thought someone else deserved to more help.

I think true shadow you are being so very unfair to these people who could filter through the emotional turmoil I have been going through.  You may think that myself or these wonderful people could careless about my ex-Master.....

I think they care enough to at least sympathize with the fact that he would need help.  I don't ever remember anyone saying just ignore him.  There was sound advice on giving him respect and dignity......

And what you must think of me.... I really shouldn't care but the bottom line is, yes I did ask for my release and yes I am far away from him now....but I still love him...and maybe if he had learned to ask instead of command things would be better.......

Lately I have found he has softend....perhaps it is a ploy and perhaps it is the truth. From a heart that has been scared and broken by his wrath I am uncertain and cautious.  Whether he has cancer or not....he will have my help.....but not my life....

I love him .......that I cannot help...........but i do not owe him my life......


(in reply to trueshadow)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/10/2008 10:07:40 AM   
clearlightblack


Posts: 107
Joined: 3/3/2008
Status: offline
I am also very sorry to anyone and everyone who was left with a bad taste in their mouth after reading or responding to this post.  I never meant for anyone to get their feelings trampled on our bad memories brought up.

I was only asking for help during a time of need and uncertainty.....i have very few people to turn to....especially in this lifestyle adventure I have stepped into wholeheartedly.....

I want to thank everyone for everything, good and bad and for those who understood that I feared my actions would mean that I was cold for choosing my life over his needs.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/10/2008 10:14:49 AM   
Poetryinpain


Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clearlightblack
I love him .......that I cannot help...........but i do not owe him my life......

I can almost feel the tears that must be falling or very near the surface. I think you were wise to ask for release if the situation was not one you could tolerate. But I can understand the tug-of-war your emotions are engaging in.

I'm glad you have chosen to pursue the career, and that you will offer the man your support and what help you can give. You have chosen wisely, and I hope you find the balance that will help him and allow you to keep your identity intact.

pip, offering [hugs] and [tissues]


_____________________________

There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to clearlightblack)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/11/2008 6:47:02 PM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline
There is a reason he's an EX.  Take the job and tell him to take a hike.  You owe him NOTHING,

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/11/2008 7:18:08 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: clearlightblack

I am also very sorry to anyone and everyone who was left with a bad taste in their mouth after reading or responding to this post.  I never meant for anyone to get their feelings trampled on our bad memories brought up.

I was only asking for help during a time of need and uncertainty.....i have very few people to turn to....especially in this lifestyle adventure I have stepped into wholeheartedly.....

I want to thank everyone for everything, good and bad and for those who understood that I feared my actions would mean that I was cold for choosing my life over his needs.


*hugs you tightly*  if anything i said helped you, it was well worth it.

just because you are a s-type, doesnt mean that just any dominant can order you around.  *especially* one who has already been shown to not really appreciate your submission to him.

you still have to be able to take care of yourself, and it sounds as though you are.  there is nothing wrong with feeling compassion for someone you once cared very deeply for, and offering a shoulder.  but you cant sacrifice yourself and leave nothing left over for yourself if its not a good relationship to begin with.

good that you are able to find a balance.

kitten

(in reply to clearlightblack)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: When an Ex-Master Calls..... - 4/11/2008 11:22:44 PM   
trappedinamuseum


Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trueshadow

I'm glad for everyone who posted here.  I have a much greater insight into your hearts than I have had before. 

I've just learned a heck of a lot in the past 20 minutes, more so than in years of being in the community.


You used a parable of the Good Samaritan in one of your posts.

Which parable tells you that you have the right, or the ability to look into others' hearts from a post?
You don't know their posts, you don't know their stories, you don't know the pain they hide behind the mask of the internet.  The OP asked for advice; others gave their opinions on it, and you judged them for it.

Wasn't there a story that taught about casting the first stone?

I'm not saying that I agree with what everyone has said; but I certainly don't judge them, or the lifestyle because of it. 



_____________________________

"You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside you soul.
Don't come back for me.
Don't come back at all" - Jar of Hearts

(in reply to trueshadow)
Profile   Post #: 92
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