RE: The Callback (or Not!)

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: The Callback (or Not!)

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: The Callback (or Not!)

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: The Callback (or Not!) - 3/31/2008 1:17:58 PM

Floggings4You

Posts: 240
Joined: 12/18/2006
Status: offline

I am married, and I now have a collared submissive (not My wife) who I see a couple times each week. My submissive and My wife have met--several times--and my sub knows that My wife approves of My D/s relationship.

I think that O/one needs to establish a reason for giving out/accepting phone numbers before actually exchanging numbers. While I was looking for My sub, I wanted to meet someone face-to-face, and get to know her at least a little, before any expectation of play. I didn't give out My phone number until I had already set (usually via email or IM) a date for the first meeting. Of course, I'm careful to make sure that the first meeting is 1) in a public place, usually a restaurant or bar, and that 2) she knows she's welcome to bring a friend or two, and 3) there is no expectation of play during or after that fiirst meeting.

Yes, I had a couple situations where I had visited enough with a lady via email, that W/we both agreed to meet. I would suggest a couple possible dates and times in the near future (usually, less than a week away) when I was available. If the lady was busy on the dates I suggested, and if she didn't suggest an alternative date when she would be free, I felt no need to exchange numbers. (It seems that many people on these sites enjoy the fantasy of chatting on-line as if they desire to actually meet and/or play, but have no desire to make T/their fantasies real.)

Of course, even after setting a date and exchanging numbers, I've been stood up a time or two, by ladies who never showed up--and who never called to explain why they were no-shows.

But, I've also had several wonderful experiences, and so I now have a collared submissive lady of My own.

Sometimes the price One must pay for many delightful evenings, is a few wasted afternoons.

To Me, it's a small price...easily paid.

(in reply to Taintedblood)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: The Callback (or Not!) - 3/31/2008 2:37:27 PM

jenara

Posts: 11
Joined: 2/8/2008
Status: offline

lol just had the same scenario with someone that seemed keen, has phoned and we chatted at length and things seem to be going well. When he didn't contact me as promised I gave him the benefit of the doubt but sent a quick email on CM suggesting that he wasn't interested in me and that was fine and he was like 'woah yes i am' but we were supposed to meet today and in the intervening time.. nada, nothing, zip.

i don't get it, surely it's simple courtesy to let someone know if you are or aren't going to meet, to confirm arrangements.

~sigh~ scritches another name of my list ;)

(in reply to bamabbwsub)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: The Callback (or Not!) - 3/31/2008 5:45:25 PM

bamabbwsub

Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

So did the last one ASK for your phone number, or did you just pony it up? If you just ponied it up and rather quickly, he may think you give it out to everybody indiscriminately.

Cali, he did ask me for my number. I rarely give it out unless asked.

quote:

Edited to add: The mere act of giving out your number does not obligate someone to use it... just as sending someone an email does not obligate them to respond to it.

You know, I had never thought about it that way, although I always assumed (dangerous, I know) that if someone asked me for my number, they planned to use it as a means of taking the "getting to know you" stage to the next level.

I use the analogy of having one's phone number as being similar to an employer having one's resumé. If the interest level is there, the employer will contact the prospective employee within a reasonable amount of time; otherwise, the person would naturally assume that the employer isn't interested. For a man to have my phone number and not use it means, to me, that he just really isn't interested.

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: The Callback (or Not!) - 3/31/2008 5:50:26 PM

bamabbwsub

Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I was talking to 'Daddy' on CM for a few days before moving to msn and then after a few more days i gave him my number and I didn't think he was interested as he never used it but then a few days later he sent a pic of his cat to me and we met later that day

Okay, so I'm not the only one who thinks that if a guy doesn't use the phone number then he at least doesn't appear to be interested. Makes me wonder why your Daddy (and thus, men in general) chose not to use your phone number.

What I'm curious about is what the men's reasoning is behind this. Is it, like Ron said, a fear of being rejected? Is it some game where they just see if they can get a phone number? Or is it one of those Mars/Venus differences that is just inexplicable?

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to Taintedblood)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: The Callback (or Not!) - 4/1/2008 7:13:27 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

If you gave a man your phone number why should he fear rejection???? Mabey he thinks that you are moving to fast or that you may be desperate or that your a pushy broad. You could be mentaly unstable. This is not to imply that the OP is any of these. They are just reasons why a man may be put off. 99% of the phone numbers I get are deleted probably for some of those reasons.

(in reply to bamabbwsub)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: The Callback (or Not!) - 4/1/2008 4:19:39 PM

bamabbwsub

Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

If you gave a man your phone number why should he fear rejection???? Mabey he thinks that you are moving to fast or that you may be desperate or that your a pushy broad. You could be mentaly unstable. This is not to imply that the OP is any of these. They are just reasons why a man may be put off. 99% of the phone numbers I get are deleted probably for some of those reasons.

Ahhh...my secret is out.

I suppose any of those are possible, but I'm actually very low-key and NOT pushy at all. I think I'll just chalk it up to "He's just not all that into me" and perhaps stop having any expectations of a phone call so that I won't be disappointed. :)

Thanks to everyone who provided helpful advice! Your time and words of wisdom are very much appreciated!!

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Profile

Post #: 26