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Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 2:02:35 PM

Riesa

Posts: 94
Joined: 5/27/2006
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Not sure if this is the right forum to post this in but here goes.
I have had an interest in Bdsm and Dom/Sub Relationships. I had a previous partner who got me interested but we played a while, then we split, But before I had any chance to explore further. I met my current partner, we have been together a year, he know about my interests, but we havent took it further. He would like to 'play' with me and wants to Dominate me, but we don't know where to start with him learning so to speak.
I have been a member here a while. Anyway, any directions of something to read, or a website to start him off, he really isnt into trawling the internet, he is a bit of a 'net phobe'
anyway thanks for your help in advance.
Riesa

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Live for today, Not for what might have been Yesterday.

Post #: 1

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 2:08:14 PM

faithfulfemme

Posts: 113
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline

Here's some fairly good books on the subject:

Screw The Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller and Molly Devon

SM 101 by Jay Wiseman

Master's Manual by Jack Rinella

Sensuous Magic by Patrick Califia

Different Loving by Gloria G. Brame

The Loving Dominant by John Warren, Ph.D

The Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Listz

A good website, CastleRealm.com

Others may have better and/or different sources, but this collection worked for a friend of mine just starting out as a Dom.

Good Luck....

edited for typoitis

< Message edited by faithfulfemme -- 3/31/2008 2:10:34 PM >

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Post #: 2

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 2:20:13 PM

Riesa

Posts: 94
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline

Thanks for that, I will have a look, I forgot to add, My partner before I met him was in a very 'plain' long term relationship, being honest he has led a very sheltered life, and he certainly had his eyes opened meeting me so to speak.
Riesa.

_____________________________

Live for today, Not for what might have been Yesterday.

(in reply to faithfulfemme)

Post #: 3

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 2:45:56 PM

LadyPaige

Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

CastleRealm seems to be defunct. I think I read somewhere that there was a death. Anway, can anyone reccommend another comprehensive site like it since that is where I used to send newbies.

(in reply to Riesa)

Post #: 4

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 2:49:53 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

You might try a site, that I believe is subdomfriends. (I'm sure I have the title wrong, so someone please correct Me.) The last time I visited there, I remember there were quite a few articles.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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Post #: 5

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 2:52:19 PM

SimplyMichael

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Lucky for everyone CastleRealm is defunct.

Pick up a copy of Screw the Roses, it is a great intro with great pictures.

After that I would recomend The Wild Side of Sex by Midori

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 6

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 3:13:01 PM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
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normally SimplyMichael I agree with you, but I have huge issues with Midori and Her stolen material----

A Different Loving gives a different perspective

S&M: The Final Taboo bu Gerald Greene

good reading!

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Post #: 7

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 3:29:38 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

slavecraft. Good Book.

Screw the roses is best for SM Style relationships and doesn't focus much on D/s relationships and slavecraft deals much more with the daily ins and outs of a D/s Relationship

As Always

Steel

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Post #: 8

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 3:39:20 PM

LadyHathor

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steel who wrote slavecraft, I am very interested in that one---

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Post #: 9

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 3:47:54 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
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It is Guy Baldwins New Book Pretty good too it deals with things on both sides and is probably just as good for a Dom to read as it is for a sub

Also Dr Rubels Books on Protocols are Good as well

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Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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Post #: 10

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 4:45:51 PM

SNoB

Posts: 145
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

Is he looking for information on playing, or living a D/s life? I'd say start with SM101. Try to attend as many local workshops and events if its about play. You cant teach someone to be "dominant". You can only hone instincts.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 11

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 4:46:48 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

I'll add my one fav book, in addition to some of the good ones mentioned...

Guy Baldwin's Ties That Bind ... I love that one...

But I really do suggest that you don't rely solely on books -- please see if you can find some like minded folks in your area to talk to.. events, munches... meetings... those will help too... nothing like live people to bounce things off of

(in reply to Riesa)

Post #: 12

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 5:28:28 PM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

normally SimplyMichael I agree with you, but I have huge issues with Midori and Her stolen material----

Who exactly did Midori steal from and what exactly do you think she stole? I have never heard a bad word whispered about her and I can't think of any books that come close to anything she has done.

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 13

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 6:00:49 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Gather some household implements and let him experiment. Hairbrush, wooden spoons, chopsticks, bamboo skewers, little hair clips, mint toothpaste, listerine strips, etc. Warn him not to hit bony bits and that he has to be careful to listen to you if you say there's a problem ie hand going numb or cramp.

Ask him to think about what interests him, tying girls up, or hitting them and making them cry. Keeping you on the edge of orgasm so you're writhing constantly and pleading to be allowed to cum or being made to orgasm over and over until you beg to stop.

Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage for safety with tying.

Additionally you could write down things you want to try when you see them and stick the index cards into a big jar. He reads through the ideas and tosses the ones he doesn't like the idea of and then chooses which to do. You'll know that it won't be something that squicks you, and he'll decide what and when.

You can bet on the outcome of a baseball game. If your team wins, you get to pick the activity of your choice. If his wins, he gets to pick it.

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Post #: 14

RE: Training a Partner - 3/31/2008 6:45:06 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Have you tried talking to eachother about what you want and just DOING some of it together?

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Post #: 15

RE: Training a Partner - 4/2/2008 4:56:13 AM

Riesa

Posts: 94
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline

I already have a very large collection of ''toys' one of my friends referred to my box of toys as a 'tack' room. I have been through Amazon, and also Ebay so got some reading coming, thanks to everyone on here, I already have Screw the Roses, I forgot i had that book. Will have to find it out.
Thanks again.
Riesa

_____________________________

Live for today, Not for what might have been Yesterday.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 16

RE: Training a Partner - 4/2/2008 5:37:45 AM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
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Guy Baldwin's Slavecraft is hardly new (2002), but it is a pretty good read. I also enjoyed his Ties That Bind that is a collection of his old Articles from magazines.

Different Loving was a wonderfull book but it's approach was quite academic, it reads very much like a college textbook.
Love, Gloria Brame, and recomend the book but not for a newbie unless they are academicly bent.
There are some pretty good newbie type web articles on her website though.

Screw The Roses to me always seemed to be a good newbie book.

The Topping book and The Bottoming book have almost always gotten good reviews from people I trust, but have not added them to my collection yet.

< Message edited by Archer -- 4/2/2008 5:38:35 AM >

(in reply to Riesa)

Post #: 17

RE: Training a Partner - 4/8/2008 8:28:07 AM

switchmt

Posts: 67
Joined: 8/20/2006
Status: offline

There is a new edition of The Loving Dominant by John Warren, Ph.D.. has anyone given it a try?

I have the old edition myself.

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 18

RE: Training a Partner - 4/8/2008 9:41:00 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

http://xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html

There's some good stuff for newbies on this site.

(in reply to Riesa)

Post #: 19

RE: Training a Partner - 4/8/2008 10:09:11 AM

Daddyslilpookie

Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Have you tried talking to eachother about what you want and just DOING some of it together?

I agree with LuckyAlbatross on this one. This is how Master and I started and He learned on his own by experimenting with me, because he is the type to just do and not read about it.

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"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

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Post #: 20

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