Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches"

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Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches" - 4/1/2008 8:17:47 AM

EbonyPhoenix68

Posts: 70
Joined: 6/25/2007
From: Central Indiana
Status: offline

I gave some thought to a conversation I had with a fellow Dominant about wannabe Doms and their switches and after what he told me, it made me wonder how many of them are allowed to get away with the things they do. Case in point: My friend was asked by a Dom and his switch to help them train a slave for their household, unaware that their intentions for her were dishonest in that once she arrived to them, they took control of her money, restricted her from contacting any of her friends on the internet or by phone as well as keeping her from going outside of my friend's home, claiming that it was for his protection as well as hers. What's even more disturbing is this couple also restricted her from any sexual contact whatsoever as well as not being allowed to scene with my friend, claiming that it was part of her training in terms of detoxing some of her alleged past behavior from her previous owners. After a he had a conversation with the switch, which degraded not only some of his friends as well as boasting about her own BDSM group, he decided that this situation was not beneficial to him nor the slave, given that they offered to mentor him (which was not needed as he already had one) as well as a position in their house as a "major domo" which would have meant giving up his own life to live in their dungeon with the same restrictions. He also learned that this same couple doesn't practice safe, sane and consensual play as far as using safewords to say nothing of having no compassion nor love for anyone but themselves.

After listening to this story, I felt that were I in the same position, I would have done as he did by disassociating from them based on their negative actions, behavior and character. Even more so, I'd advise him to be very careful of who he gets mixed up with if their intentions are dishonorable. With all this in mind, what's your take on this situation?

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RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 8:21:20 AM

angelbluewingsz

Posts: 324
Joined: 10/10/2004
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I agree...

(in reply to EbonyPhoenix68)

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RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 8:23:56 AM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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I always ask if people's intentions are dishonest before I get involved with them. I also have a protector and a trainer to help me make good choices so I am both protected and...

Oh fuck it, what a bunch of fucking drama queens. Stupid is as stupid does.

(in reply to EbonyPhoenix68)

Post #: 3

RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 8:50:10 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

I always ask if people's intentions are dishonest before I get involved with them. I also have a protector and a trainer to help me make good choices so I am both protected and...

Oh fuck it, what a bunch of fucking drama queens. Stupid is as stupid does.

Aww Michael you too the words right out of my mouth.

First thing I thought reading this was "BS" but hey, I'm cynical.

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RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 8:51:32 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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run Forest run

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Post #: 5

RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 8:53:56 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Well, it is April Fool's Day.

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RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 8:55:19 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
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Doh, I totally forgot it was April Fools Day lol

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RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 8:56:23 AM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

Everytime I see these things posted I think of children playing on the playground.. and picking teams.. and being... well, children.

That said, sounds like this person (and I sure as hell can't tell by the end who is who) didn't do their homework in terms of knowing who they were getting mixed up with. How much does it take?

I don't think bad actors are ALL that good at fooling people all the time and then turning around and becoming someone else.

I'm not sure what the switch reference has to do with any of this... and frankly, one person's wanna-be is another "One and true only" ... you never know

(in reply to EbonyPhoenix68)

Post #: 8

RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 8:58:11 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

run Forest run

Hahahaha!! Now, that was funny. I don't care who you are!!

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Post #: 9

RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 9:04:54 AM

kinkypuppy2

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/4/2007
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Hopefully they are in the very small minority

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Post #: 10

RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 9:09:08 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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You_are_using_the_term_switch_in_a_way_that_suggests_of_a_negative_bias...
I_have_no_way_of_knowing_if_that_was_your_intent_or_just_my_perception.

It_was_not_prudent_of_your_friend_to_agree_to_this_without_negotiating
terms_that_he_was_agreeable_to_especially_re:_the_use_of_his_home.

Since_you_say_she_was_not_allowed_to_leave..what_if_she_pressed_kidnapping_charges?

Why_was_it_such_a_dilemma_for_him_to_stop_his_relationship_with_them...?
I_don't_understand_that_part_at_all.

(in reply to MistressVnus)

Post #: 11

RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 9:52:33 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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So when she showed up to spend the week there and was told "Give me all your money and your cell phone", why didn't she turn around and walk out the door? Why didn't she inquire as to what the training would be composed of before she showed up? Shit, my teenager is smarter than this.

Besides, total isolation for a period when you first show is not an uncommon training technique for a slave. It allows them to focus entirely on the new master. It's not a technique that I would go for, but there are lots of people who are fine with this.

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RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 10:00:06 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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They aren't mutes by any chance, are they?

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RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 10:26:39 AM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

quote:

You_are_using_the_term_switch_in_a_way_that_suggests_of_a_negative_bias...
I_have_no_way_of_knowing_if_that_was_your_intent_or_just_my_perception.
It_was_not_prudent_of_your_friend_to_agree_to_this_without_negotiating
terms_that_he_was_agreeable_to_especially_re:_the_use_of_his_home.
Since_you_say_she_was_not_allowed_to_leave..what_if_she_pressed_kidnapping_charges
I_don't_understand_that_part_at_all.

Did you really type that like that?

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 14

RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 10:38:59 AM

domahpet

Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline

hello, this is officer domah of the csi.

your journal says it was in fact yourself, and not a friend,
that 'helped with this training'.

id like to ask, was this person under your mentorship when you gave him over to this couple?
or were you her dom?
and how long did you actually know this couple?
what id like to know is how do you feel about what you did after
you found out these people were in fact "Nothing more than a couple of psychos?"
what did you do to help the slave when you found out the situation was bad?

sounds like youre just butthurt because you gave your slave away. they didnt want to share and you
didnt want to submit with her and join their family.

in the first half of your post, you speak of this slave as a she, then later as a he (is the he you?).

and finally, how does it 'make you wonder', when you are in fact the very person that enabled it
in the first place?

would you like to call your lawyer bafore you answer? heres a quarter.

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RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 10:58:56 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Thank goodness I wasnt the only one who couldnt work out who was who in that post, ta Domah

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RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 12:07:15 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressVnus

quote:

You_are_using_the_term_switch_in_a_way_that_suggests_of_a_negative_bias...
I_have_no_way_of_knowing_if_that_was_your_intent_or_just_my_perception.
It_was_not_prudent_of_your_friend_to_agree_to_this_without_negotiating
terms_that_he_was_agreeable_to_especially_re:_the_use_of_his_home.
Since_you_say_she_was_not_allowed_to_leave..what_if_she_pressed_kidnapping_charges
I_don't_understand_that_part_at_all.

Did you really type that like that?

The spacebar on her keyboard is broken and she hasn't gotten a replacement yet...lol

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A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to MistressVnus)

Post #: 17

RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 1:08:05 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

Even if the OP is legit, this is reason #1 why i would never ever allow anyone to "give me" to someone. ya hello! i'm a person not a chair.

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I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 18

RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 1:59:45 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

And this person didn't just call bullshit on this whole program in the first fifteen minutes and walk?

Why?

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RE: Dealing with wannabe Doms and their "switches&... - 4/1/2008 1:59:47 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

The ones that are allowed to do the things they do, do so because someone will allow it.
There is a sucker born every minute and unfortuantely too much is tainted by the drama they willingly participate in.
I wonder when people will get some sense.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyPhoenix68
it made me wonder how many of them are allowed to get away with the things they do.

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
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