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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 12:39:09 PM   
ModeratorEleven


Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline 		Folks, chill out please.

XI


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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 12:41:32 PM   
LilMissHaven


Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline 		I'm honestly not trying to be rude to the OP or her Dom.

I am just curious to see if being punished for her lack of trust was beneficial to their relationship.  Since everyone reacts to different situations and experiances on their own level I am only interested in her view as to the benefits of this practice.

Where myself is concerned I believe it would be a step or five in the wrong direction.

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 2:12:26 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I wanted to send this to LilMissHaven on the other side but it seems her profile is gone.

I want you to know that I understand your feelings on this issue and I agree. The bond here is thiers and if she is following through with the punishment and not walking away from it's intent I can only assume that she does believe it has merit. I am with you however I do not believe a Public Appology is appropriate because the Master would have had to have known the Scrutiny that the poor girl would be under on this forum and as it seems she likes being here this is would leave her feeling less inclined to come back here as she would have to deal with these kinds of questions from those who do not understand thier union.

I do wish to say however that it is refershing to see someone have a BAD experinece and not end up running away from it or feeling that leaving was thier only option.

Either way I wish the OP the best that her union has to offer.

Steel

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 2:16:18 PM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyrrsefanie

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven
I never quite got the reasoning behind public apologies and punishment. 


Simple.  The person demanding the public apology/punishment is an egomaniac who needs an entire community to see just how awesome of a dominant he is over another human being.  Chances are he's compensating for some insecurity of his which makes him come across as a complete douchebag to other people.




ahhhhh teenie weenie syndrome---

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 2:58:14 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		congratulations for accepting accountability - a rare event in todays world.

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 3:22:16 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh the drama of it all...

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 3:29:28 PM   
athomesub


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: Louisiana
Status: offline 		 
Gee people I didn't mean to start WWIII. If I knew how I'd just delete it as well as the post yesterday.I already had talked with him at length before posting this. It was more to let those who had posted to my original query know the outcome. The posting was entirely at my initiative. Since I have only vanilla friends I don't have anyone to bounce thoughts and ideas off.

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 3:53:42 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Have you considered getting any?



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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 3:53:43 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		*yawn*

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 4:00:11 PM   
amuzingtoyou


Posts: 144
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		If you felt the need to appologize in a public setting I see no harm in that. I don't know the circumstances of what happened, so I can't really comment on that. But I wish to remind you athomsub, that it always takes two to make or break a relationship.  I have heard some people on here say that they think he treated you badly from what you had said. Like I said, I don't know, but I would caution you to not take the full blame for everything. It always takes two...always.

(in reply to athomesub)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 4:10:25 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		No, this isn't the place or way to do it.

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 6:49:15 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		Let see--
Dom ignores me,
refuses to communicate 
refuses to respond to questions about why when I make an effort to communicate inorder to deal with the issues
I then seek  from  advice from others  since he has made himself unavailable--then Dom says  .... bad subbie for not trusting me so now you  deserve to be  punished ... but will keep you and forgive you

......And now I should feel eternally  grateful and tell the world what a bad subbie I am  for not trusting him  and praise him for being so wonderful   .............

NAHHH that is not going to happen at least not with me... because trust and respect is a 2 way street ....trust cannot be demanded ...it has to be earned ....and if my trust in him becomes shaken by his actions  ...he should not be punishing me for that  but should be reflecting on why it is happening...  in order that he make corrections  to right and to prevent from occuring again  and recognize it  as his own shortcoming for allowing it to happen in the first place.   I do not expect a dominant to be perfect, they are human after all but would at least expect them to take responsibility for their mistakes/actions instead of passing the buck and trying to make me feel guilty by punishing me for.... as long as they can own up to their blame in most cases they would not be diminished in my eyes --depending of course of the severity of the mistake/action ,  but when they refuse to take responsibility  for their actions and put the blame on me instead ...  it will only serve to cause further loss of trust and respect  and would be making me question whether they are worth it




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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 7:01:11 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

No, this isn't the place or way to do it.


I agree. She should take out a full page ad in her local newspaper, and also put it on a billboard by the highway. Anything less than that is inadequate.




< Message edited by happypervert -- 4/1/2008 7:02:06 PM >

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 7:05:29 PM   
masterofdrkness2


Posts: 1697
Joined: 3/17/2008
Status: offline 		maybe a few tv spots in prime time  as well.

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Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
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From a cold steel rail?
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Do you think you can tell?
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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 7:07:37 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorEleven

Folks, chill out please.

XI



We don't all have to be mean, come on guys 11 already asked once.

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to ModeratorEleven)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 7:11:25 PM   
KCherry


Posts: 2264
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: Send Help, Fla.
Status: offline 		*Hugs the OP* It's alright darlin. We all do not so smart things sometimes. Whether it was you or him I hope it works out for you.

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 9:04:48 PM   
faithfulfemme


Posts: 113
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorEleven

Folks, chill out please.

XI



We don't all have to be mean, come on guys 11 already asked once.



Goodness, i seem to be hi-jacking threads right and left nowdays.  i apologize, but i'm new here and there's so much to know.....

.........*whispering*........WHO is Moderator XI?  And the thread could be moved?  

i mean, is there a Moderator X?  And we're being watched as we post?......*yikes*......i guess i'm just very naive, here.......


edited for typoitis

< Message edited by faithfulfemme -- 4/1/2008 9:05:44 PM >

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 9:34:27 PM   
HerLord


Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm curious as to why you are not apologizing to your Daddy, rather than making a public statement?

I take it to be an open apology. One where he can see it is not only words to him, but also to everyone.

That said, I agree. I also am unsure of the transgression, but if it is the one I am thinking, "seeking the council of others before him" then, I think this may be a bit more of a control thing than an actual issue. I do not belittle the significance of the issue of the control dynamic of this particular relationship. I do believe that in my relationship, this level of control is WAY to extreme, but if it works for them great.

This said.

OP

Is this the type of Domination YOU seek? Do YOU want to be made to display YOUR scarlet letter for YOUR humiliation? Do YOU want to made fool of for every ones, particularly his, amusement?

OP's Dom

Is this the type of Dom YOU seek to be? Do YOU think that YOUR "hurt" is more important than Athomesub? Are YOUR insecurities ( perhaps "issues" is more palatable word) worth branding her in such a manner.

ALL
Is it not justifiable to seek council of others to clarify your thoughs, if only to strengthen or quantify your thoughts? Is wanting to know how to approach a particular issue, or even determine if it is an issue at all, offensive? How is wanting to discuss with "others" (who may or may not be more intune with the inquisitors personal position, i.e: Top/dom/sub/sub/WTFever) to determine if this is just a mere communication thing, or something that actually needs addressing, a source of conflict for any? This I have difficulty with.

Athomesub. You hereby have my acceptance your apology. Hope that some one's who you will never meet, talk to (more than on these forums), or give a damn about, namely me, acceptance of your apology helps you and him through this.

Sincerly Confused

*edited to add*
If the above highlighted and quoted is not correct, plaz disregard entired post.

< Message edited by HerLord -- 4/1/2008 9:36:53 PM >

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 9:37:09 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I just lost respect for your Top. This way only costs him more face than before-not very bright.

I'm really not trying to be snarky-I think this could have been handled with a lot more compassion.

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 4/1/2008 9:38:20 PM >

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RE: A Formal Apology - 4/1/2008 9:47:16 PM   
trappedinamuseum


Posts: 5066
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: athomesub


Gee people I didn't mean to start WWIII. If I knew how I'd just delete it as well as the post yesterday.I already had talked with him at length before posting this. It was more to let those who had posted to my original query know the outcome. The posting was entirely at my initiative. Since I have only vanilla friends I don't have anyone to bounce thoughts and ideas off.


I'm sorry, but  don't buy that.  If this thread had just been created to let people know the outcome of the thread, wouldn't it have said something like, "Thanks for the input; everything worked out"?  I am confused as to why the apology was necessary to tell people what happened.  There seems to be another motive.

But hey...your relationship, not mine.

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Don't come back for me.
Don't come back at all" - Jar of Hearts

(in reply to athomesub)
Profile   Post #: 40
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