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RE: Input Invited - 4/4/2008 1:15:58 AM

HerLord

Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
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Ladypact-
The "asshole factor," as you paraphrased, is definitely an issue, as My Love says that it takes a special breed to put up with me. (No offense taken.) We appreciate your input, and are discussing changing our methods. I will am definitely take a more active role, in hopes of heading off the girlfriend effect.

Domiguy-
You're a pretty big dick, you know that? You're also right. I do happen to know there are men out there looking for some no-strings-attached sex. I am one of them.

Faitfulfemme-
The BDSM is optional, though preferred. Vanilla or not, it's more the ability to mesh with us then particular interests that we are concerned with. Thanks for the input. We have discussed the option of a male sub.

Ladypaige-We have considered approaching our admittedly limited group of friends. My Love considers many of them to be brother types as opposed to potential lovers. There is potential there.

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Post #: 61

RE: Input Invited - 4/5/2008 9:15:04 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
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My apologies for posting this, then handing it over to My Lord. He has, with a single exception, answered well for both of us, so I hope no one has taken offense. It was a rough week at work, and I put in some major OT.

For all of your input, thank you so much. We learned a lot, and I think we've found a better way to handle things. We have begun revisiting SLS, and find MANY more people in our area have signed up. Could be promising. My Lord is also taking a more active role in our passive "search" and being the point of initial contact. I think, handling it this way will help us weed out those who can't take the asshole factor.

I will shorten the length of the message, as suggested, and will also soften it. Reading it reflected back to me through your eyes helped me realize how it sounds, and that is really not how I would choose to sound.

To Creative Dominant: Again, my apologies for the misunderstanding.
No, I do not expect them to court me at all. I am sitting back and waiting for initial contact, but if they interest me, I take the bull by the horns, tell them all about us, and ask a lot of question. I will keep the ball rolling if I am interested, and am more than happy to do the legwork of setting up a phone call, IM session, or any other contact such as meetings. I will go out of my way to talk to them and email them, if that's possible for me to do. The thing I am trying to head off is being cussed out for not being online when someone else "expected" me to when I never made any commitment to do so, or to avoid repeated requests for nude photos, etc, etc, etc.

I don't expect them to email and/or call me anymore then I do them, nor do I expect them to quit living their life just because I'm in it. If they hang up on me because their best friend just called or their dog needs to go out, I don't take it personal. They do have to live their life. Even if they politely cancel a date for something more important; I hope they will be as understanding if I do the same to them. The ideal person for us at this stage would be like the many male friends I have. Happy to get together for some drinks every few weeks, occasional texts or myspace comments/messages, and once in a while a phone call when they need a friend. I have only one friend with whom I have daily contact and he works with me, and is not this nature of friend. Fwb is exactly what we seek.

Again, thank you all for you input on the letter, and our not-so-search.

Cheers!

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RE: Input Invited - 4/6/2008 2:27:49 AM

PhoenixRed

Posts: 174
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

Hello to both of you...HerLord and StormSlave. I understand what you're looking for, because I've searched for the same for myself and my mate. We have a little different dynamic.....I'm a Domme and my mate isn't into BDSM at all, but supports my interest in it totally. We've been doing 3somes (and moresomes) for quite a number of years now. It is true that most men would related better to the female half than the male half initially. I've always done all the communication for the both of us. We have a number of partners of the kind that you seek.....we met them in the swinger's community. I have profiles on a few swinger's sites, and they've worked well....some are single female profiles of mine, one is a couple's profile for both of us. In all of them I state that I have a mate...on the non-BDSM sites I also state that we prefer to play as a couple. When I e-mail with prospective male partners, I tell them up front I am looking for someone to be with both of us. I/we have found a number of great partners that we've had as friends for years this way. Some have gravitated into BDSM activities, some haven't. It's all good.

There are good single men both in the BDSM and swinger's scenes that will respect a couple's relationship and be a friend as well as a sexual partner. It does take a lot of patience to find them. The best way we've found is that my mate and I attend local swinger's events together. We're affectionate with each other in public, and there's no question we're together. So, anyone that approaches us knows that. That's one thing I would suggest. The events are a good way to meet people, and have people get to know you both. If you'd like more info and/or the sites that have worked best for me/us please e-mail me on the other side, I'd love to chat with you about it. Best of luck to you both.

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In the great experiment known as evolution, evidently there are some people who's ancestors were in the control group.

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Post #: 63