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RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 2:24:44 PM   
wanderingastray


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

Maybe you should seek out people with a lot more experience of modify your filtering proccess.




how should i modify my filtering process exactly? as far as people with a lot more experience, i've had a guy who was 25 years my senior with 30 years of experience try this on me as well...so i dunno.

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 2:25:57 PM   
wanderingastray


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

They are subs, playing bait and switch.

Mayvbe you should make it clear that playing this game with you is a waste of time, and you will dump them the first time that they attempt it.



why would they be posing as doms on this site then? ack!

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 2:27:56 PM   
wanderingastray


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DS4DUMMIES

quote:

ORIGINAL: wanderingastray

so, the last few doms i have attempted to pursue something with have all decided to switch on me. mind you, these are men who advertise themselves as dominant, not switch. it starts off well and good and by the 3rd or 4th date they are "curious as to what it would be like if i topped them." why does this keep happening? does anyone else have this problem?


It's called "I-am-not-really-a-dom-but-i-believe-that-women-on-bdsm-sites-might-be-more-loose-than-women- i meet-in-bars-and-so-maybe-i-can-get-them-to-top-me-if-i-order-them-to-syndrome"

Actually, I've heard many women voice this frustration in the past, so you;re not alone. Adding a line to your profile that says "...anyone who meets me professing to be a "dom", and asks me - or even HINTS at asking me - to top them, is going to be instantly and unceremoniously thrown out on their ass, never to return...", will help. That's not satire.....

Ds4



thanks Ds4!

(in reply to DS4DUMMIES)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 2:30:38 PM   
LadyPaige


Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wanderingastray


quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

They are subs, playing bait and switch.

Mayvbe you should make it clear that playing this game with you is a waste of time, and you will dump them the first time that they attempt it.



why would they be posing as doms on this site then? ack!


Because they're posers. 

(in reply to wanderingastray)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 2:51:14 PM   
johntom571


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wanderingastray

so, the last few doms i have attempted to pursue something with have all decided to switch on me. mind you, these are men who advertise themselves as dominant, not switch. it starts off well and good and by the 3rd or 4th date they are "curious as to what it would be like if i topped them." why does this keep happening? does anyone else have this problem?


ok maybe i missed it in the posts, but i have a question: are those "doms" that contacted you, or that you contacted? 
also a comment: it might be a common problem with false advertisment.  for example, i run into lots of profiles from subs who claim to be intelligent and articulate and looking for a male dom, but when i contact them, they don't reply, which might indicate that they are not necessarily all of the above.  so don't feel bad when you ferret out the fake doms out there, eventually you'll find a real one.  like i'm hoping to find a real sub one day.

JohnTom

(in reply to wanderingastray)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 2:51:45 PM   
wanderingastray


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPaige

quote:

ORIGINAL: wanderingastray


quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

They are subs, playing bait and switch.

Mayvbe you should make it clear that playing this game with you is a waste of time, and you will dump them the first time that they attempt it.



why would they be posing as doms on this site then? ack!


Because they're posers.



oh, right! forgot. ;)

(in reply to LadyPaige)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 2:59:21 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wanderingastray


quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

They are subs, playing bait and switch.

Mayvbe you should make it clear that playing this game with you is a waste of time, and you will dump them the first time that they attempt it.



why would they be posing as doms on this site then? ack!


Because they don't have what it takes to get a Domme, and hope you will be a cheap substitute.

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I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to wanderingastray)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 3:00:39 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: johntom571
i run into lots of profiles from subs who claim to be intelligent and articulate and looking for a male dom, but when i contact them, they don't reply, which might indicate that they are not necessarily all of the above.


Humm I am intelligent and articulate and would rather like a male Dom, and I dont reply to all mails, normally because I dont fancy them or their mails are annoying. Though your point about the wording of a profile is a valid one. Maybe OP you should jsut take out the stuff abotu you being a Domme totally, you can tell people after the initial contact but maybe that attracts people.

< Message edited by colouredin -- 4/3/2008 3:09:47 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 3:04:17 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I rather think a lot of women don't replay BECAUSE they are intelligent-and the ones writing really have no clue as to small hints-such as what the sub writes in the profile.

It's funny how that works.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 3:05:35 PM   
chatondamore


Posts: 86
Joined: 12/22/2007
Status: offline 		I end up with tons and tons of male dominants that as soon as they find out i'm a switch, with a bi hubby, i become like the holy grail. AHhhh! An excuse to do all those  naughty things i've been fantasize about doing with men, without having to really take responsibility for doing it!

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http://bipolswitch.wordpress.com/

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 3:09:15 PM   
wanderingastray


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: johntom571

quote:

ORIGINAL: wanderingastray

so, the last few doms i have attempted to pursue something with have all decided to switch on me. mind you, these are men who advertise themselves as dominant, not switch. it starts off well and good and by the 3rd or 4th date they are "curious as to what it would be like if i topped them." why does this keep happening? does anyone else have this problem?


ok maybe i missed it in the posts, but i have a question: are those "doms" that contacted you, or that you contacted?
also a comment: it might be a common problem with false advertisment. for example, i run into lots of profiles from subs who claim to be intelligent and articulate and looking for a male dom, but when i contact them, they don't reply, which might indicate that they are not necessarily all of the above. so don't feel bad when you ferret out the fake doms out there, eventually you'll find a real one. like i'm hoping to find a real sub one day.

JohnTom



doms that contacted me.

(in reply to johntom571)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 3:23:34 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wanderingastray


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPaige

quote:

ORIGINAL: wanderingastray


quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

They are subs, playing bait and switch.

Mayvbe you should make it clear that playing this game with you is a waste of time, and you will dump them the first time that they attempt it.



why would they be posing as doms on this site then? ack!


Because they're posers.



oh, right! forgot. ;)


If you want only a dom ...take out all mention of topping or being a domme in your profile, just mentioning those things are going to attract desperate subs or switches  looking for a domme,  you can still be honest if you feel the need to reveal  that information  by telling after you meet a dom your interested in....just do not stick it in your profile, as those subs and switches  that read that in your profile   can easily create  a new profile calling themselves a dom just inorder to create an opportunity for themselves


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(in reply to wanderingastray)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 4:43:10 PM   
Smoothicen


Posts: 17
Joined: 2/16/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wanderingastray

so, the last few doms i have attempted to pursue something with have all decided to switch on me. mind you, these are men who advertise themselves as dominant, not switch. it starts off well and good and by the 3rd or 4th date they are "curious as to what it would be like if i topped them." why does this keep happening? does anyone else have this problem?


My guess is that they were switches or subs to begin with. Remeber that switches tend to go either way based on the personality they encounter and some subs have not completely accepted that part of themselves.

It is also possible that they are in the discovery phase and would like to try it the other way.

(in reply to wanderingastray)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 10:40:22 PM   
AMaster


Posts: 814
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		I'll never be a switch.

(in reply to wanderingastray)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 10:53:59 PM   
MasterKalif


Posts: 648
Joined: 5/24/2004
Status: offline 		Amen...me too switching goes against my personality...

(in reply to AMaster)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 10:59:19 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I'm too evil and ornery to be a sub..(though I wish I could find an evil and ornery sub-we would have great times together!)

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 11:08:59 PM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		(fast reply)

I speculate that those folks contacting you aren't Dominant at all.  Rather, they say they are Dominant because that is what men by definition are ... masculine, dominant, assertive.  They probably percieve submissive men as being effeminate, compliant, and 'less'. 

This is just my speculation but it is based on a lot of insecure men that I've met.

Wickad

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 11:16:00 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: johntom571
i run into lots of profiles from subs who claim to be intelligent and articulate and looking for a male dom, but when i contact them, they don't reply, which might indicate that they are not necessarily all of the above.


Humm I am intelligent and articulate and would rather like a male Dom, and I dont reply to all mails, normally because I dont fancy them or their mails are annoying. Though your point about the wording of a profile is a valid one. Maybe OP you should jsut take out the stuff abotu you being a Domme totally, you can tell people after the initial contact but maybe that attracts people.



Typically I ignore the profiles that say I'm smart n stuff.  Like anyone is gonna say "dumb as a box of rocks,  My feet stink and my mommy dresses me funny.  And OH those are my good points".  Looking for the same in my mate.  If you have to point out your smart sexy witty.  How smart can you be???

Give me a fucking break.  BadOne

_____________________________

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 11:18:29 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Uh huh.........

You can call yourself  "roast beef sandwhich" if ya want to.

Still doesn't mean you belong in the deli section.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: what's with doms switching on me all of a sudden? - 4/3/2008 11:24:58 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Uh huh.........

You can call yourself  "roast beef sandwhich" if ya want to.

Still doesn't mean you belong in the deli section.


Yup yet also calling myself a girl, a human being, a mamel and no one would have any problem.

Well SB its true no one would say that they are dumb, and of course the way you are should speak loudly enough for you. And I think that calling yourself sexy is slightly differant but thats just my opinion Its true that we can apply whatever label that we want to each other and not everyone may agree but I dont see why is matters. Also by just stating that I have brains doesnt mean that I instantly became thick.


< Message edited by colouredin -- 4/3/2008 11:25:48 PM >

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 40
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