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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/5/2008 11:26:54 AM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Real_Trouble


Likewise, I'm not so sure I'm about to buy into any definition of maturity, either.  Most people are staggeringly "immature" by any reasonable standard, so this is sort of like lecturing trees about not photosynthesizing. 




Come come, let's be reasonable.......I think I'm more than just a piece of cheese you know......


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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/5/2008 12:22:19 PM   
Sirsinini


Posts: 172
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheKingofKings

What do you do when your sub betrays your love?  Your Trust?  Your enduring spirit to live for her as she supposedly lives for you, only to have her drop off the face of the planet and re-emerge with a new love, leaving you there heartbroken and furious.


NOTE: While writing this I am trying to get over the shock of it happening to me, that and it took five minutes because my havds are violently shaking, as is my whole body.



~~fast reply ~~  and the s type always seem to blame the D type for this "unethical" behaviour.  Being a human with feelings is a damned bitch.  Been there says this s type and I know what violently shaking feels like. 
 
Sir's devoted property

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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/5/2008 3:12:13 PM   
CelticPrince


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quote:

What do you do when your sub betrays your love?


King,

Whisper thanks for not taking up any more of your time.

CP

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Profile   Post #: 83
RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/5/2008 8:30:32 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		The best revenge is living well.

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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/6/2008 8:26:44 AM   
egelante


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/24/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pyrobabe

My thoughts are once a sub betrays you like that there is no going back. You will end up always being paranoid about whether or not your he/she is lying to you or not. You were the one obviously all for the relationship and your sub obviously was not. Put all your energies into finding a new sub that won't lie to you and that you can trust. You can not have a relationship with someone that isn’t willing or doesn’t have the passion to make the relationship work.



I found (and partly find) myself in a similar situation, KingofKings... A sub "gave herself"' to me one day and went and saw another dom literally the next. It took me ... five weeks to tease that particular truth out of her, albeit that I knew from the beginning. Even with the foreknowledge it hurt like hell. With so much time in between, particularly "aware" time, I couldn't very reasonably break the thing off, and so I'm still involved. I could say much more about the situation, but I do not want to discuss it publicly any more than I have here, as it seems hypocritical to do so without first resolving it one way or another, and I would ask that other posters respect that sentiment.

Anyway, my rather bizarre and unfortunate situation only serves to set up an example. I have put myself through emotional and intellectual hell to go back and trust, and every time I found myself pushed away again or betrayed in some other way - I am no emotional masochist, I simply want a mutually agreed and satisfactory situation.

But with this experience in mind, I can only agree with pyrobabe. Unless you want a lot of pain, there is no going back. The betrayal of trust can only be overcome by love by the forgiver, and action by the betrayer, and even then it takes an awfully long time. The chances are that if someone is betraying you in this way, they are not certain enough about having a future with you to either make or merit that effort.

Please excuse the fact that this post is somewhat... scattered!

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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/7/2008 1:18:37 AM   
Willowmoon


Posts: 227
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline 		Theres nothing you can do to change it, doing anything to get 'revenge' just makes you look petty and isnt nice anyway not to mention it eats you up more then if you just let your self grow, heal and move on so thats what you do. You deal with it like you would any other break up, one day at a time one foot in front of the other.

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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/7/2008 3:25:15 AM   
ChemistryMaster1


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Joined: 3/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Willowmoon

Theres nothing you can do to change it, doing anything to get 'revenge' just makes you look petty and isnt nice anyway not to mention it eats you up more then if you just let your self grow, heal and move on so thats what you do. You deal with it like you would any other break up, one day at a time one foot in front of the other.


"ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is."  Unknown

< Message edited by ChemistryMaster1 -- 4/7/2008 3:57:16 AM >

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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/7/2008 3:28:18 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		According to a study I read once, that is because men have a lesser developed, evolved brain. After reading that particular study, I understood a great deal more.... Just saying.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/7/2008 3:35:30 AM   
colouredin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChemistryMaster1
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.


Shouldnt you have put quote marks around this too?


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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/7/2008 4:57:58 AM   
DesFIP


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From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		At 20 years old, forever in love is supposed to be only a few months. Mourn, heal and go make new friends. Spend time studying as finals are in a month, clean your room, go out with friends who you've neglected. Call your mother and your grandparents.

Life isn't going to stop because she got tired of you.

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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/7/2008 6:45:49 AM   
ChemistryMaster1


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Joined: 3/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

At 20 years old, forever in love is supposed to be only a few months. Mourn, heal and go make new friends. Spend time studying as finals are in a month, clean your room, go out with friends who you've neglected. Call your mother and your grandparents.

Life isn't going to stop because she got tired of you.


Well said!

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Profile   Post #: 91
RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/7/2008 9:45:31 AM   
Cucker


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/4/2008
Status: offline 		Seems to me, you were inadequate, or she would not have left. Don't take this personal as an attack from me, but if you were intuned to this woman you would have seen she wasn't digging you. You can't take your property for granite.

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/7/2008 10:54:26 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cucker

Seems to me, you were inadequate, or she would not have left. Don't take this personal as an attack from me, but if you were intuned to this woman you would have seen she wasn't digging you. You can't take your property for granite.


I call bullshit on this one! Just because two people don't get along, does not mean one is inadequate. In fact, if one was, I would say it was her. Given the way she behaved.

And as an fyi, that would be "You can't take your property for granted." Granite is a type of stone.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/7/2008 8:41:56 PM   
Hippiekinkster


Posts: 5512
Joined: 11/20/2007
From: Liechtenstein
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real_Trouble


Likewise, I'm not so sure I'm about to buy into any definition of maturity, either.  Most people are staggeringly "immature" by any reasonable standard, so this is sort of like lecturing trees about not photosynthesizing. 




Come come, let's be reasonable.......I think I'm more than just a piece of cheese you know......

I like cheese. <sings "Be gouda to meeee bay-beeee!">

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Profile   Post #: 94
RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/7/2008 9:01:10 PM   
Real_Trouble


Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cucker

Seems to me, you were inadequate, or she would not have left. Don't take this personal as an attack from me, but if you were intuned to this woman you would have seen she wasn't digging you. You can't take your property for granite.


Two things - first, what does granite have to do with this?  I'm pretty sure this was a thread on breaking up, not geology.

Second, I also call bullshit on this.  I know plenty of fucked up people who have left relationships that were perfectly good for them and wiped out into things that were much worse.  For instance, I saw it happen to one of my good friends about eight years ago - he's now a multi-millionaire in his early 30s and happily married, and she's a crack whore who is in jail.  Somehow, I don't think it's anything he did, knowing the two of them and seeing how things work out.

It's quite possible the only thing inadequate here is your comment.


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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/8/2008 12:27:38 PM   
Cucker


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/4/2008
Status: offline 		Sue me for bad spelling, I still stand by my assessment, if he was intuned to her he would have seen she wasn't into him.

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Profile   Post #: 96
RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/8/2008 1:25:44 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cucker

Sue me for bad spelling, I still stand by my assessment, if he was intuned to her he would have seen she wasn't into him.


Sue me for saying you are talking out your ass. I still stand by my "bullshit!"


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 97
RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/8/2008 1:58:51 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cucker

Seems to me, you were inadequate, or she would not have left. Don't take this personal as an attack from me, but if you were intuned to this woman you would have seen she wasn't digging you.



swap out intune with objective and I would agree with this part of his statement.

BadOne

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RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/8/2008 2:13:19 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		My anger in this type of situation is with myself for making such an error in judgement.  Forgive yourself, forget about her.  All exchange based relationships require trust...  without trust, there was truly nothing to start with.  Be glad you didn't travel that path further.

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Profile   Post #: 99
RE: When your sub betrays you. - 4/9/2008 3:56:49 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cucker

Seems to me, you were inadequate, or she would not have left. Don't take this personal as an attack from me, but if you were intuned to this woman you would have seen she wasn't digging you.



swap out intune with objective and I would agree with this part of his statement.

BadOne


As would I.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 100
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