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How to react - 10/5/2005 7:30:58 PM   
ropesubby39


Posts: 112
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline 		Hi:

The situation took place about 2 months ago, i was talking to this Dom, He seemed very nice and same kinks as mine. One day we were talking and He said *i will talk to you tonight*. Well, believe it or not, i waited that night til the *wee hours*. He never said something that could have make me think that there was nothing to go on. Before anyone tells me that maybe he was busy and didnt have time.......i would say 2 months is long. What sadden me is that i saw Him on another site we both go to and NO i wasnt spying on Him since i do have friends on that site. I never messaged him cause i gathered that He was a coward to not even bother to say bye.

So my question is how would you deal with that? Or am I just too sensitive? (ok that's two questions)

ropesubby
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How to react - 10/5/2005 7:44:35 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I would say "Oh well" and move on.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How to react - 10/5/2005 8:10:04 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

So my question is how would you deal with that? Or am I just too sensitive?


I would probably IM him and ask him if he ever thought he was going to get his balls back from his wife.

Of course I'm blunt and to the point. But, I do get answers.

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How to react - 10/5/2005 8:30:50 PM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline 		I think HE is the coward!

It is totally rude to just blow someone off. Courtesy, class, honesty, respect are always important.

Some will disagree..life is life..stuff happens..whatever: I feel that in a D/s context, consideration is even more important.
He could have said: "I don't think we click, sorry babe, hasta la vista!" something, anything!

No, you are not too sensitive. Just move on, be happy you found out early enough that he is a splineless boor.

Take care and good luck!


(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How to react - 10/5/2005 8:36:41 PM   
txsubbie


Posts: 25
Joined: 1/12/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for posting that question. That happened to me and i figured it was something i may have done. i sometimes forget that not E/everyone has class and is kind...It's nice to be reminded.

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How to react - 10/5/2005 8:41:27 PM   
JustaTop


Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		Does the phrase "he's just not that into you" ring a lil bell here?

Try not to expect too much from online stuff-you'll be happier overall.

(in reply to txsubbie)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How to react - 10/5/2005 9:33:06 PM   
txsubbie


Posts: 25
Joined: 1/12/2005
Status: offline 		This is a situation where honesty would be welcomed.

(in reply to JustaTop)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How to react - 10/5/2005 10:53:46 PM   
mossy


Posts: 189
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline 		Dear ropesubby,,,, don't be sad....be glad like me and i will tell you why.....

This has been happening to me ever since i have been online. At first i too thought it was me, and sometimes i bet it is........but i am very glad that most of these people have gone away. Better that they should get lost now? Than make my Life miserable in Real Life in the long run!!!!!
i have been told the most beautiful things by some dominants....that i am the one, they must have me, they have been searching for me all their lives, we have a spiritual connection.....only to have them drop off the face of the earth. Online "relationships" are a "no risk" proposition for some...it doesn't seem to matter if they hurt you, it's just online. That does not sound like anyone i would ever....want in my Life be glad.

_____________________________

~~inner peace & mental clarity~~

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How to react - 10/5/2005 11:29:11 PM   
JustaTop


Posts: 511
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		In this venue,lack of a reply is often all the reply you will need. Yes,I know it's chickenshit to be like that-but it's honest in it's own way.

Seriously,what part of "they lost interest" is so difficult to understand?

I'd say it's more about them than you.

(in reply to txsubbie)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 3:31:53 AM   
Dracironsgirl


Posts: 175
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ropesubby39

Hi:

The situation took place about 2 months ago, i was talking to this Dom, He seemed very nice and same kinks as mine. One day we were talking and He said *i will talk to you tonight*. Well, believe it or not, i waited that night til the *wee hours*. He never said something that could have make me think that there was nothing to go on. Before anyone tells me that maybe he was busy and didnt have time.......i would say 2 months is long. What sadden me is that i saw Him on another site we both go to and NO i wasnt spying on Him since i do have friends on that site. I never messaged him cause i gathered that He was a coward to not even bother to say bye.

So my question is how would you deal with that? Or am I just too sensitive? (ok that's two questions)

ropesubby


sorry that happened, i relate a lot but i feel a real Dom wouldnt conduct Himself in such a lowly way, reminds me a lot of Vanilla world where bad form like that runs abundant (my opinion) .....personally i say good to see His true colors now rather than later, even tho the pain is still felt, it is His loss for sure.

_____________________________

~love a Man in control~

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 3:36:44 AM   
ownedjulia


Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mossy

Dear ropesubby,,,, don't be sad....be glad like me and i will tell you why.....

This has been happening to me ever since i have been online. At first i too thought it was me, and sometimes i bet it is........but i am very glad that most of these people have gone away. Better that they should get lost now? Than make my Life miserable in Real Life in the long run!!!!!
i have been told the most beautiful things by some dominants....that i am the one, they must have me, they have been searching for me all their lives, we have a spiritual connection.....only to have them drop off the face of the earth. Online "relationships" are a "no risk" proposition for some...it doesn't seem to matter if they hurt you, it's just online. That does not sound like anyone i would ever....want in my Life be glad.


Sadly, This is very often the case. There are a lot of 'wannabe' doms out there who can talk the talk but when it comes to goin any FURTHER then you find that they dissapear on your quicker than a magic trick.

I have been through the same experiences when I first starteddabbling in BDSM and it took a while before I 'got wise' to the ways of the internet and some people profiles.

It's a shame that there are so many game players out there but unfortunatley it is a fact of life.



_____________________________

~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

(in reply to mossy)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 3:37:37 AM   
ownedjulia


Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		*Deleted - Duplicated - Sorry!*




< Message edited by ownedjulia -- 10/6/2005 4:59:32 AM >

_____________________________

~julia
owned slave and proud of it!

(in reply to mossy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 4:55:13 AM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dracironsgirl


sorry that happened, i relate a lot but i feel a real Dom wouldnt conduct Himself in such a lowly way, reminds me a lot of Vanilla world where bad form like that runs abundant (my opinion) .....personally i say good to see His true colors now rather than later, even tho the pain is still felt, it is His loss for sure.


Dracironsgirl: Sadly, some real life, in person, Doms (humans) are just as "incapable" as to be honorable, too. Even someone a person has dated, related, been intimate with. Promises...then?

Real life abandonment sucks even worse.

all the best to you and all!

(in reply to Dracironsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 5:45:54 AM   
Masterwolf61


Posts: 3
Joined: 8/20/2005
Status: offline 		I have read all of the comments on thi topic and i very much accept all of your experiences. I would like to keep something in font of us all and that is that we are all human Dom sub vanilla strawberry rocky road what ever it is you wish to be. I have made the mistakes as a Dom most of you share here and all I can do today is say I am sorry and hope to use the lessons learned not to repeat the mistake again. I also hear a lot of talk here and other places on wananabes well weren’t we all there at the first point we recognized what we are? If you spot a “wannabe” then I ask that you do the honorably thing and educate them in the way you want to be treated and if it doesn’t click for you then move on.

A great friend and mentor once said “some will some wont so what next number”

TJ

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 8:10:58 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

quote:

So my question is how would you deal with that? Or am I just too sensitive?


I would probably IM him and ask him if he ever thought he was going to get his balls back from his wife.

Of course I'm blunt and to the point. But, I do get answers.



very well put... and now i'm laughing... hardddddd

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 8:29:52 AM   
RainGod


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline 		I agree with dracironsgirl in that it is better to find out someone is incapable of keeping his word, no matter how small the promise may be, it is indeed still a promise. If One cannot keep His word in the begining, how then shall He act later on?

I also side with Fawne here, in her point that real-life andonment is so much worse. Even if the person doesn;t physically leave you, it is far worse they remain in physical form and their hearts and minds are obviously elsewhere. How sad it is that one would commit herself to someone, come to be with Him full time only to have Him spend countless hours otherwsie entertaining Himself with little regard to her happiness. Thats still abandonment, in My opinion.

_____________________________

Love is a razor & I walk the line on that silver blade... slept in the dust with His daughter her eyes red with the slaughter of innocence... The evil that men do lives on & on.
~ Iron Maiden

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 9:03:48 AM   
plantlady64


Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

RainGod
I agree with dracironsgirl in that it is better to find out someone is incapable of keeping his word, no matter how small the promise may be, it is indeed still a promise. If One cannot keep His word in the begining, how then shall He act later on?


Well said,
I agree if you find someone not living up to the words they have coming out of their mouth it's time to run the other way. What kind of trust can you have with someone who has no integrity.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to RainGod)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 1:36:42 PM   
ropesubby39


Posts: 112
Joined: 9/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dracironsgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: ropesubby39

Hi:

The situation took place about 2 months ago, i was talking to this Dom, He seemed very nice and same kinks as mine. One day we were talking and He said *i will talk to you tonight*. Well, believe it or not, i waited that night til the *wee hours*. He never said something that could have make me think that there was nothing to go on. Before anyone tells me that maybe he was busy and didnt have time.......i would say 2 months is long. What sadden me is that i saw Him on another site we both go to and NO i wasnt spying on Him since i do have friends on that site. I never messaged him cause i gathered that He was a coward to not even bother to say bye.

So my question is how would you deal with that? Or am I just too sensitive? (ok that's two questions)

ropesubby


sorry that happened, i relate a lot but i feel a real Dom wouldnt conduct Himself in such a lowly way, reminds me a lot of Vanilla world where bad form like that runs abundant (my opinion) .....personally i say good to see His true colors now rather than later, even tho the pain is still felt, it is His loss for sure.



Thanks for all the reply, i do think i did the right thing, so why do i feel like crap?? The funny thing is that the Dom has over 15 yrs in this lifestyle and this i did verified, so go figure


ropesubby

(in reply to Dracironsgirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 1:49:11 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ropesubby39

Thanks for all the reply, i do think i did the right thing, so why do i feel like crap?? The funny thing is that the Dom has over 15 yrs in this lifestyle and this i did verified, so go figure


ropesubby


Yea it's too bad that Experiance doesnt always equal a Back Bone...........

Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How to react - 10/6/2005 2:03:15 PM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		ok. so "I" am a mean ole fart. an alpha from the get go.

but if its ME?

i tell em to quit blowing smoke up my ass. either they are real people -- do as they say they will or go away and play in someone else's sandbox coz "I" dont have time OR patience for it.

but YOU do what ya wanna.

good luck to ya.

wolf

(in reply to ropesubby39)
Profile   Post #: 20
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