hopelesslyInvo
Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
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yeah, i hate to seem overly defensive and i wasn't meaning to be, but i'd imagine that's the only way i was going to come across in my disagreement.
i wouldn't start to blame anyone if they didn't find themselves attracted to a person calling themselves worthless, i'm not sure i'd be attracted to it myself; but it's certainly not a quality i go looking for.
quote:
When you say "we", are you establishing yourself as the representative for submissives everywhere, or just those that refer to themselves as weak, useless and/or worthless?
i said we to emphasize that although i can only truly speak for myself, in reference to who might ask it, it pertains to more than just myself. i also said we in the sense that i do indeed associate myself with the meanings or feelings those three words imply in at least some substantial amount, but not in the sense i find myself even capable of, or that i'm trying to respresent others who might also feel an association to them. basically i said we because i feel i am among a related group of people the thread is speaking about, though i know that might also not be the case.
i would never label myself, especially in my profile as useless or worthless, but as it has been so long since i have felt important or useful to someone, over time it has made me feel fairly worthless. on one hand i feel like or tell myself i have so much i could give, and that i do have uses and value, but that simply no one seems to have an appreciation for them or cares. i feel like i'm on a shelf, collecting dust. perhaps i don't feel truly worthless or useless per se, though they are things i have felt time to time, but i have largely felt unwanted. it is a similar feeling if nothing else. because i have not felt wanted, i havn't felt like i am of much use, so i have felt little worth, and this is why i associate with those words.
when i look at weakness or frailty, i can look at and compare myself to others, who seem unbothered, carefree, unconcerned, or strong enough to not be bothered by things that would do far more than just dampen my spirits. i see people who are either so strong that they manage with little problem, or people who are so closed off they can't seemingly even be hurt, or those who are generally uncaring about such things that i would consider important, that they encounter and experience with little ill effect things that would leave me feeling completely crushed. i simply look at these people and say "i am not like that", and it is in this regard i associate with the word weak.
people have also told me i get too easily or perhaps too quickly attached to other people, but even in a relation that might last quite long, when my connection with them is severed, there are people... even my friends who often look at me as if they're unsure why it is bothering me so bad, which in turn makes me look at them like they're either clueless or have a heart of stone. regardless, this is why i have also come to associate myself with the word fragile.
so in a large degree these words touch home. i hate to be defensive, as i don't feel insulted by the thread, but i probably always come off that way because i almost never have anything to say unless i disagree, have something i feel is important to add, or have some inquiry. i'm pretty quiet any other time.
quote:
Intelligence is a trait I find pleasing in a slave. In my post, I was discussing my personal preference and how I was not attracted to slaves who consider themselves to be “worthless” or “useless” and thought I would use the trait of intelligence as a means of comparing and contrasting between the things I enjoy.. and the things I don’t enjoy. Hopefully you can now see the connection.
intelligence is something i think anyone else with intelligence will find desirable, the point is i don't see how intelligence relates in the case of worth or use, unless you mean that you find in some notion that what people are doing in this case is idiocy, which doesn't seem to be what you're saying either. so for the most part no, i still don't really see the connection, but i see i've taken it out of context from what you were saying.
quote:
Perhaps you haven’t met nearly as many submissives who consider themselves to be “worthless” as I have
aside from my skirts in chatrooms, it's pretty much a guarantee that i see very little. there was an occasion someone compared me one too many times to other submissives that i decided to see what these "others" are like, but i lost interest after about 5 minutes and haven't looked again since. maybe in some degree i'm out of line in my thoughts, or due to the context i really just don't know what i'm talking about on this subject, but to another degree, i'm not really just speaking of just submissives in concern to strength and self worth to begin with, but in relation to all people. i suppose that is a deviation of the topic, but it seemed a more accurate way to cover it, though it probably ended up causing me to just let my own sentiments hammer away at the keyboard instead of looking more closely as to what exactly is in question.
quote:
First, it is highly unlikely that a submissive will be willing to submit herself to a dominant who is unwilling or unable to overpower her.
maybe with all things considered i should just let my thoughts on anything else here slide, as quite frankly as much self awareness or understanding i may believe to have on my side of the dynamic, M/f and F/m is certainly as night and day in about every nuance that makes us tick as it can be, even in the wording. overpowering in this sense seems little different than tossing the word seduction around on my side of the yard, but while it struck me as odd for several reasons it is probably just because it's not something i hear a whole lot on this side of the fence. i really should have stressed further about the fact that it wasn't my aim to call you out or jump your ass, but in the sense of what piqued my interest, all in all it's just making conversation, and the things that stand out to me are the ones i'll want to talk about~
i do feel at least slightly out of place in the fact that the post is more or less pertaining to someone different than me, someone who would tell others that they are worthless or weak, or even say that they enjoy it, rather than associate with the words or feel it without advertising the fact. but i would neither lay claim to enjoying it, or list such viewpoints in my profile. for one, it's not how i would like to present myself, and two i don't want people to think i'm looking for sympathy, attention or trying to throw a pity party, and third is that i find my "self worth" to be irrelevant, since in the case i found it worthy enough to make a profile in hopes of meeting someone in the first place, what i'm concerned about is what someone else's assessment of my worth is, not what i think. i'm honest in how i feel, but i won't try to make up their mind for them.
so of course my arguement might seem askewed since in my profile don't refer to myself as these things, but the reason i found it pertinent to reply is that i do regardless identify with them.
maybe the problem people are having here is that there is just as much of a misunderstanding about the words "weak", "worthless", and "useless" as i was having when you said you "overpower". then again, maybe i'd feel the same way as just about everyone else here seems to if i was confronted with it.
< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 4/7/2008 12:24:49 AM >
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RE: "Weak/useless/worthless submission" - 
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