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RE: Rejected - 4/11/2008 3:37:21 AM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

ok Guys, time to share a bit, we Dominas share what it feels like when we reject or get rejected---well when we reject someone we get at times called all kinds of things---and the testosterone really comes out---so what happens when you reject or get rejected?? Or does everyone just go off quietly into the night?

I don't like how the persons feels when I reject him or her (I take time to explain them why not). I was never called names, not that I would care anyway.

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RE: Rejected - 4/11/2008 3:54:09 PM

Asmodeus

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Move on; there's always the next submissive. Hopefully that works both ways; I'm rarely interested in maintaining a "We're just friends" relationship except on the rare happenstance where we simultaneously decided it wasn't going to work out (once or twice since I've been involved in the lifestyle).

I ran in to a former sub at her place of employment (hospital; she was a Dr), about a year after she unilateraly ended the relationship. We chatted for a few minutes while I was waiting for someone else, and she eventually said, "you know, you could call." I looked at her and said "I deleted your number from my phone the day you left." She got really offended and stormed out. C'est la vie.

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RE: Rejected - 4/11/2008 9:24:40 PM

Real_Trouble

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It depends on the reason for the rejection, of course; I've only ever been angry once, and it was with someone who was wildly deceitful before I found them out. That bothered me, but much more for the deception than the actual rejection, a point they never really understood.

Likewise, I tend to be on the same page as Asmodeus: unless it was a mutual decision, I'm not interested in a "we're just friends" relationship.

I have more than enough friends already.

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RE: Rejected - 4/12/2008 5:51:42 PM

realtuffdom

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I have often wondered this myself, too, because I have never been rejected ever. I think it has something to do with my greatness and amazingness that knows no bounds. And yes, as I've mentioned before, my modesty.

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RE: Rejected - 5/10/2008 12:55:50 AM

ApathyRomance

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the one time i rejected a girl (and it was a non bdsm type realtionship) she was whiny and clingy and terrible so i warned her to stop or i would let my sadistic nature out. She didn't heed my warning and i took perverse pleasure in tearing her apart emotionally. Not really my ideal situation, but i did warn her. When i get rejected i tend to drop a bit emotionally, but i try to avoid involving other people (especially the rejector( in my wallowing.

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RE: Rejected - 5/10/2008 1:21:35 AM

GreedyTop

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I just got rejected for financial reasons.. neither of us make enough money (despite the fact that I was doing all I knew to do to make it a reality) Oh ... and it was never realistic, according to him..wuolda been nice if he'd have said so from the start.

*sigh* ignore me.. I'm just seven kinds of pissed off at the moment.

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RE: Rejected - 5/10/2008 1:34:39 AM

MissMagnolia

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You have mail GT.

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RE: Rejected - 5/10/2008 1:43:38 AM

GreedyTop

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*hugs* MIssM got it and replied....

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RE: Rejected - 5/10/2008 4:49:06 AM

antipode

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I go shoot some cans out back

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RE: Rejected - 5/10/2008 6:26:27 AM

wandersalone

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fast reply

It depends how long I've known them and if it has been r/l or restricted to online so far. A handful of emails then I don't worry about it. If we have met a few times and I thought it was going well ....I may wonder why and be sad for a short time. I try not to have room in my life for anger ....I acknowledge that we are all free to make choices and that they made a choice. It doesn't stop me from feeling sad and/or hurt though.

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RE: Rejected - 5/10/2008 12:27:17 PM

Stephann

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I was rejected by someone I was interested in, about a month ago. It was a little humbling, a lot frustrating. We've stayed friends, and now that I've gotten to know her better, I'm glad I'm not with her. Still, rejection hurts like a bitch. Fortunately, I have a slave to take it out on

Stephan

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RE: Rejected - 5/10/2008 12:58:39 PM

mstrj69

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Online only, I could care less as I have not put any real emotion into it. Real life, depends on how long we have been together, what is expected of one another, etc. I always wonder why the change but fo not push it. Anger does no good for me as it will just keep me upset and that is not good for my health or anybody's health. I might try to stay friends but if they do not want to be friends then I will drop it and let them go as if they never existed. Only exception is if they try to come back to me after some time and by then I have probably moved on and have no room for them.

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RE: Rejected - 5/10/2008 6:11:29 PM

corsetgirl

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Hey, I am a BBW short submissive and I am used to rejection. I don't take it personally because attraction is subjective and to each his own.

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RE: Rejected - 5/10/2008 6:27:51 PM

MadRabbit

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I used to take it really poorly, but with self awareness, I realized it was an insecurity and an ego problem. Rejection brings us face to face with the possibility that we aren't smart enough, good looking enough, rich enough, whatever and the ego wants to defend us from that feeling by turning it onto the other person.

I worked on internalizing the idea that with billions and billions of people on this planet, compatible partners for each of us rank statistically in the hundreds. That means there is a lot of people out there who are not going to be compatible with a lot of other people. We have a higher chance of dating someone not compatible then someone compatible. Rejection is inevitable and it's not evidence of inferiority, but simply the lack of a good match between two people with their own unique perfections and imperfections.

Now, most of the time, I just say "I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's probably the way it's meant to be. Best of luck with finding someone who can make you happy."

Then I go back to searching.

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RE: Rejected - 5/10/2008 7:02:25 PM

CelticPrince

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quote:

ok Guys, time to share a bit, we Dominas share what it feels like when we reject or get rejected---well when we reject someone we get at times called all kinds of things---and the testosterone really comes out---so what happens when you reject or get rejected?? Or does everyone just go off quietly into the night?

MLady,

For myself, I never put myself into a position of rejection by going on the hunt. There are ofter instances where I am contacted and a few priliminary emails are exchanged, and then poof. It is an aggravation as protocols and courtesy has been breached.

Simply put, I stand in no que lines.

CP

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RE: Rejected - 5/11/2008 7:09:19 AM

Evility

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It bothers me more to have to tell someone else that I am not interested in their offer than to have someone reject mine.

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RE: Rejected - 5/11/2008 7:32:31 AM

Leatherist

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Doesn't phase me now.

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RE: Rejected - 5/11/2008 8:15:01 AM

DiurnalVampire

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It depends on how ong has been invested into it. If someone rejects me early on, ah well bad match.
If I reject them, they get no more airtime, I know better than to give them the chance to "prove their case".
If its a longer relationship, then I usually tell someone off when I get rejected, unles its a mutual thing. Especialy if their reasons are... questionable.
I have never rejected someone later on in a relationship unless it has been beasue of somehting so incredibly stupid or dangerous they did that they knew it was coming.

DV

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RE: Rejected - 5/12/2008 8:50:28 AM

Dnomyar

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Why do some feel that their ego is bruised? Is that why your here for a ego trip? At some point life is going to reject you and your going to die. So much for an ego.

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RE: Rejected - 5/12/2008 12:39:34 PM

jm29jm30

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gemini1766

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Those I reject just tend to disappear, which is rather sad.

If I am rejected, I just assume it was for good reason and don't give it much thought.

In my younger years, I would probably not bother to go out of my way to remain friends, LaTigresse. Once rejected it's difficult to face the one who has rejected you. Now, however, I'd accept that we were not meant to be in that kind of a relationship and I'd look to keeping the friendship going.

Try out this one, because I just ended a relationship that falls into this category. It gets complicated, so try to follow. What if you were rejected by a person who you rejected first, but came back to, but then had them reject you because that person wanted to be with another person more than you, and never bothered telling you about that person it the first place while you were in your relationship, they only told you after you came back to them. Now the person cares about you so much that they want you to be friends while they're together with the other person, because they don't want to lose you? What's really crazy here is that each person is married and cheating. So, do you stay friends and endure the pain of rejection or move on. Some would say I got what I deserved in the first place for being the original rejector.

< Message edited by jm29jm30 -- 5/12/2008 12:43:18 PM >

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