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ownedgirlie -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 10:10:36 AM)
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Some are insecure, some are not. I was not who I am today when we first began talking. Nor was I a member of CM. I frequented a few chat rooms a bit and I had a restriction which forbade me from speaking to any dominant men in IM who I was not already friends with. At the time I was skittish and didn't understand that I didn't need to submit to any human with a penis. I had been grossly misinformed about certain aspects of submission and he was protecting what we were creating by limiting my contact.
That rule was in place for a few months, until he felt confident in my growing self confidence and stability.
By the time I joined CM, his only rule was, "Be clear you are owned" so I chose a really obvious name to cover that requirement. He no longer cares who I talk to. I've made some friendships with dominant men with whom I have either met or spoken to on the phone. He initially asks what we talk about and then leaves it alone. Frankly I've received more inappropriate behavior from non-dominant friends than dominant ones.
I never understood the "that's so insecure" conclusion. Having been on the side of the equation where a slave friend was no longer allowed contact with others, including myself, I can understand feeling angry, confused or upset about having a friend suddenly removed from my world. And I know it can be easy to jump to conclusions about the owner which has made that decision. But to decide any owner with such a rule must surely be insecure and his/her submissive must surely be unsure of themselves isn't something I believe in. In my case, yes I was unsure of myself, however, so it was a good rule for me to have.
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