RE: Are doms so insecure...

RE: Are doms so insecure... (Full Version)

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AquaticSub -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 10:25:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx Yes, but if I don't ask questions how will I know the answers? HM doesn't keep track of me; He trusts me to do what's right in all areas. He owns you. I assume you usually obey, even if you don't want to. I assume he knows where you usually are, at least by city or state. By keep track I don't mean he slaps a GPS on you. To a vanilla person, the things happen even in the tamest d/s relationship can scream insecurity.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 10:31:02 AM)
He's considered it though. I think it would be a great idea. He calls me 'Miss Direction' for a reason...[sm=onphone.gif]

kyraofMists -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 10:35:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx ...or subs/slaves so unsure of themselves that they will not let anyone of the opposite sex contact them? Personally, I have enjoyed (non-sexual) conversation with both men and women on the collarme side of the site. But I've noticed that many women say that c-mail from men will be deleted unread, and/or that their daddy or master will deal with them. I guess if it works for you...but, honestly, I think you lose out on friendships and other views due to the fact that someone has, or does not have, something between their legs. Seems a rather flimsy basis on which to deny a friendship. You can look at it from that perspective if you wish but there are many different reasons that could also motivate this. My profile asks that anyone who wants to talk to me to send an email to him first. It has nothing to do with trust or security within our relationship. It is a simple request to see if the people who wish to interact with Alandra or I are capable of respecting the type of relationship that we have with him. We are his slaves and keep no secrets from him and if you can respect that, then there shouldn't be an issue. If I am losing out on friendships because they don't want to email him first, then what am I really missing out on? They are not willing to respect our M/s relationship, so why would I want them as a friend? They can't respect a simple boundary that I stated. I cannot think of any person who has sincerely approached him about wanting to talk with me or Alandra that he has refused. Some interactions only lasted for a few emails and others have lasted for a couple years now. Knight's Kyra

ChemistryMaster1 -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 10:36:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar CM am I to understand that you wou't have a relationship with someone who you can trust. I don't think that trust has anything to do with this. Some people are just plain nosey. The only time I would read other peoples mail is it was a sports magazine. Trust has several levels in my book and it has to be earned daily!! and No, I wont have a relationship with someone I can NOT trust...... It will take time to build it tho, To Me,Reltionships are not like instant coffee, they need time to brew and develop.... and by talking to/with someone doesnt mean that I trust them one bit.

FRSguy -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 10:57:07 AM)
I would certainly understand why some Masters would want to screen or control that portion of there subs life however I think some woman are just jumping the shark when it comes to a lot of it. A lot of the woman I have spoken to on here back and forth have problems with the concept of not being wanted sexually. Dont get me wrong a lot of them do understand but some just seem to think that oposite sexes cant talk...lol

Cuffkinks -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 11:20:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists If I am losing out on friendships because they don't want to email him first, then what am I really missing out on? They are not willing to respect our M/s relationship, so why would I want them as a friend? They can't respect a simple boundary that I stated. Knight's Kyra Let's see...Let Me find the biggest, boldest print here...Wait...Got it... BINGO!!!!!

xxblushesxx -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 11:34:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cuffkinks quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists If I am losing out on friendships because they don't want to email him first, then what am I really missing out on? They are not willing to respect our M/s relationship, so why would I want them as a friend? They can't respect a simple boundary that I stated. Knight's Kyra Let's see...Let Me find the biggest, boldest print here...Wait...Got it... BINGO!!!!! Sure, except every once in a while I write to someone whose post has touched me in some way, (anger, agreement, laughter) and write them wishing more info and/or advice. I actually think I did do this to Kyra at one point, and didn't bother reading her profile first, and hence, I guess, I was rude. I didn't mean to be though. She's someone whose opinion I respect, and in some ways I feel like I know many of the people who post here, and think nothing of dropping them a line every once in a while. I suppose I could read the profiles of everyone before I write to them, but, since it's just a friendly gesture and/or a question most of the time, I usually just go ahead and send the note.

metalmiss -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 12:03:33 PM)
i've never understood this myself either.. i always at least read my mail, no matter who it's from. i agree with you that conversation does not have to be sexual.. and as such i do not treat every single approach i get via c-mail as somebody trying to work their way into my knickers. In my opinion the people who don't even bother taking that chance are loosing out because i have also made some very valued (non sexual) friends here and on other sites through random mails i have recieved commenting on my profile & my blog. Sure.. i get troll mails.. but most of the time they just amuse me.. and they're worth putting up with for the few genuine people that occasionally come through. smiles Each to their own i guess.

LilMissHaven -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 12:09:17 PM)
My profile is hidden for the moment but I still receive emails. I don't really bother those that send one word emails though. Otherwise, I do try to keep up though lately I've had a hard time with the extra shifts keeping up with the amount of mail I receive a day. I've always enjoyed the interaction I've had with those I've met from here though most have moved to being added to my messenger so the emails are starting to dwindle thank goodness.

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 12:20:06 PM)
Heh, heh, heh. The innocent little owned slaves that I have gotten into innocent little conversations that ended in innocent little meetings that ended in innocent little play. Having said that, do I trust a submissive to be a good little girl? Yep, because even if I don't, she will never know. It leaves the power with me not to constantly check on her. When I start telling her to do this and that because I want her to, instead of her wanting to please me, it weakens my domination. Keep that in mind, boys and girls.

Justme696 -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 12:27:55 PM)
quote: Keep that in mind, boys and girls. nope :P

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 12:31:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Justme696 quote: Keep that in mind, boys and girls. nope :P Justme696, keep in mind, that statement is in support of the last part of my post about why it's not a good idea to limit a slave from talking.

Justme696 -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 3:43:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain quote: ORIGINAL: Justme696 quote: Keep that in mind, boys and girls. nope :P Justme696, keep in mind, that statement is in support of the last part of my post about why it's not a good idea to limit a slave from talking. I know ;) but the boys and girls part ruined it :P . you teacher!!!! [8D]

ResidentSadist -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 3:49:26 PM)
I've seen it a lot. I never truly understood all the reasons behind it. I imagine the isolation makes them feel secure.

Maya2001 -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 4:18:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChemistryMaster1 I call it putting the rules and regulations into effect. Trust no one period. How would any Dom/Domme protect you if They are unaware of what is going on? Not every sub needs to be protected and if you can't trust their judgment including choosing you, and has the potential to be swayed to choosing someone else over you... thenn why would you want to remain with them? Is forcing them to stay with you some how better??? If my partner is so weak that they can stray without me keeping a tight rein on them than they are not for me, I would much rather have someone that is dedicated and wants to be with me rather than one that is forced to by me preventing outside influences, and there is only one way to know if that person is dedicated to me or not and that is to allow them the freedom to choose. ....... another point is that a sub cannot nor should not give consent for others, mail/email involves 3rd parties be it friends, family and business associates who have not given consents to be involved in your lifestyle and have the right to believe their messages and thoughts are private with the person they are speaking to, it is a violation of their trust and privacy to have their messages read by a third party(dom/me), they are entitled to trust, respect and know what they discuss with you will be kept in confidence. Any new Dom that would order me to turn over my passwords, would be told to go fly a kite . If I was living and married to a Dom he may be entitled to more "if" it impacts our rellationship directly example family but business associates if he is not directly involved in my business then no, my business associates still have right to respect and privacy unlesss I felt their was a reason to share that info and it should be with the business associates consent/knowledge, there are many times my adult son just needs a sounding board or just to get another viewpoint and will want to talk to be a bit about an issue in confidence trusting me not to keep it private.......no Dom in the damn world has to right to demand to know or order me to divulge what we discussed, just in the same way if a Dom discusses something private with me would be entitled to privacy as well knowing I would not be discussing/blabbing what he told or showing his private messages to me to family members and friends.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 4:21:21 PM)
LOL oh we haven't discussed this THAT many times really. The majority of the time it is insecurity and a way to keep poachers at bay (in theory) and an easy quick buzz to give the sub her fuzzies. A lot of subs also can't stand saying no and aren't strong enough to do it well, so this allows them to avoid learning that skill. BUT sometimes it's just how it works for them. It's just how they need and want things to go and they see plenty of benefits to cutting down communication and no real downsides. I think banning communication based on gender or orientation obviously only works in the internet world where you literally have to allow someone in before you converse with them. Offline- you are only making a best guess at their gender or orientation and it would be fairly awkward to constantly fend off every hello from every person.

lilabbotsfordgrl -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 4:26:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx ...or subs/slaves so unsure of themselves that they will not let anyone of the opposite sex contact them? Personally, I have enjoyed (non-sexual) conversation with both men and women on the collarme side of the site. But I've noticed that many women say that c-mail from men will be deleted unread, and/or that their daddy or master will deal with them. I guess if it works for you...but, honestly, I think you lose out on friendships and other views due to the fact that someone has, or does not have, something between their legs. Seems a rather flimsy basis on which to deny a friendship. I also wonder a bit about doms who order their subs/slaves/pets to write this in their profile. If you are a dom, and if you are secure with what you own, why would you worry about your property having a conversation with someone of the opposite sex? Does your property have to refrain from talking to the opposite sex while at work? If she sells real estate, can she only sell to and from women? It's very seldom that I receive a 'troll' c-mail from a man. Quite often though, gentlemen will write to me to either clarify, compliment or disagree with something I've posted. I also get complimentary c-mails on my smile, or something I'm wearing in my pics. I thank them usually, and that is the end of it. HoneyMaster is secure in the knowledge that I am owned, and doesn't even bother to read my c-mail, let alone dictate it. So, I guess I'm just curious as to why someone would order something like this if they are secure with themselves and with theirs; I'm also a little baffled as to why someone would miss out on another's opinion just because of that person's sex... You spent a lot of time saying that you don't like how other people run their profiles. Seriously, spend some time offline.

xxblushesxx -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 4:31:40 PM)
I'm home sick today and this is my entertainment. If you would have read my post, and my answers to other posters, perhaps you wouldn't think that. I wanted an insight, and I do appreciate those who provided it.

DesFIP -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 4:54:13 PM)
About passwords, of course he has them. He's the computer tech in the household when his 16 year old is busy. He set up the new computer, including email, and he decided on the new password, which is the old one with a number on the end. However, since he's working out of town a lot with no email access, I have his email passwords and I check his mail and read him the business ones. The funny forwards are left for him to look at if he's bored enough.

ChemistryMaster1 -> RE: Are doms so insecure... (4/8/2008 5:09:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Maya2001 quote: ORIGINAL: ChemistryMaster1 I call it putting the rules and regulations into effect. Trust no one period. How would any Dom/Domme protect you if They are unaware of what is going on? Not every sub needs to be protected and if you can't trust their judgment including choosing you, and has the potential to be swayed to choosing someone else over you... thenn why would you want to remain with them? ....... T/they choose me above the R/rest for I fill their mind on a larger scale by making love to their minds. W/women fall for it all the time. As for the why I stay? .... the SEX is good. Is forcing them to stay with you some how better??? .......No, they are/will be in my life by their own choice, if I really have to work for it, it wont be worth it to me as we dont connect on the mental level, so it will NOT be worth the hustle. If my partner is so weak that they can stray without me keeping a tight rein on them than they are not for me, I would much rather have someone that is dedicated and wants to be with me rather than one that is forced to by me preventing outside influences, and there is only one way to know if that person is dedicated to me or not and that is to allow them the freedom to choose. ....... To each his own, and I only get the O/ones who are willing to give it all, body, and soul. T/they will feel the freedom of knowledge and wisdom as I allow it. I have two doors in my house' Enterance" and Exist. and T/they can exist at anytime. ....... another point is that a sub cannot nor should not give consent for others, mail/email involves 3rd parties be it friends, family and business associates who have not given consents to be involved in your lifestyle and have the right to believe their messages and thoughts are private with the person they are speaking to, it is a violation of their trust and privacy to have their messages read by a third party(dom/me), they are entitled to trust, respect and know what they discuss with you will be kept in confidence. ......My House, My Rules!! I heard that somewhere. Any new Dom that would order me to turn over my passwords, would be told to go fly a kite . If I was living and married to a Dom he may be entitled to more "if" it impacts our rellationship directly example family but business associates if he is not directly involved in my business then no, my business associates still have right to respect and privacy unlesss I felt their was a reason to share that info and it should be with the business associates consent/knowledge, There is no New and Old Doms, a Dominant person is born to Lead /Discipline those whose place is to follow. there are many times my adult son just needs a sounding board or just to get another viewpoint and will want to talk to be a bit about an issue in confidence trusting me not to keep it private.......no Dom in the damn world has to right to demand to know or order me to divulge what we discussed, just in the same way if a Dom discusses something private with me would be entitled to privacy as well knowing I would not be discussing/blabbing what he told or showing his private messages to me to family members and friends. .... It is all about the chemistry that makes us all different.

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