RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ?

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ShaktiSama -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 12:51:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued Perhaps I'm a bit of an odd submissive. I find a Domina's trust and vulnerability very, very sexy. There is nothing sexier than when my partner looks at me with a smile and asks "pet, would you please show me how to do that"? Service comes in many forms and sharing information (about life, the world, and play) is one of the many ways I love to help my partner. I think this is very sweet, actually. [:)]

ElanSubdued -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 12:57:27 PM)
mal, One more comment, just to address the youth / age issue. There are many Dominas (and Dominants, switches, and submissives - be they male or female) who I enjoy reading. As of late, one particular Domina, 20 years in age, caught my literary attention. She posts with such wonderful emotion, creativity, humanity, and insight that I always find something interesting in her thoughts and I often learn a thing or two as well. Along with a few other Collar Me regulars, this young, Dominant woman is on my "always read" list. As I wrote in my post above, I'm more interested in how someone communicates and in what they have to say and share, than in their age. Elan.

ElanSubdued -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 1:04:54 PM)
Shakti, quote: ElanSubdued: Perhaps I'm a bit of an odd submissive. I find a Domina's trust and vulnerability very, very sexy. There is nothing sexier than when my partner looks at me with a smile and asks "pet, would you please show me how to do that"? Service comes in many forms and sharing information (about life, the world, and play) is one of the many ways I love to help my partner. ShaktiSama: I think this is very sweet, actually. [:)] Thank you. Your comment put a smile on my face. :-) Elan.

LadyPact -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 1:13:40 PM)
As you know, mal, I am on that same thread on the other side. I will do My best to paraphrase here what I said there.To date, I have yet to meet in person, anyone of 21 years of age who has suited the title of Mistress (or Master). To Me, claiming that particular title encompasses many things. The most important of which being that, the Mistress in question is fully capable of taking care of all of their slave's needs, should that be the obligation. A home of their own, medical care, education, and establishing a support system. No, these things are not necessary in all situations, but a Mistress should be able to provide them if needs must. Aside from this responsibility, is also one of merit. What experience and skill does the Mistress bring to the table? Have they accomplished such things in the unbrella of BDSM to know what they are doing, on a physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional level with their slave to have earned the title? Have they taken the time to become well versed in different styles of play? Along with this, is the matter of ownership. Do they know what it is like to own their slave? All that it encompasses? To be fully responsibile for their care, above and beyond the simple matters? Have they learned the difference between ownership, and dictatorship? Between dominance and domineering? As I said earlier, I have yet to meet the 21 year old who can fulfill these same standards that I hold Myself to. I look forward to meeting the first.

ShaktiSama -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 1:22:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact To date, I have yet to meet in person, anyone of 21 years of age who has suited the title of Mistress (or Master). Knowing that you speak with an eye to Old Guard protocol, however, puts this very much in perspective, wouldn't you say? The terms Master and Mistress in Old Guard protocol are applied very much as they were in the days of the medieval trade guilds: a Master/Mistress is someone who has served an extended apprenticeship and worked as a journeyman as well. Biologically it would be impossible to achieve such a status in BDSM by age 21, given that our society does not define you as a legally adult entity capable of taking responsibility for her own sexuality prior to the age of 18. Also, just as a side point--how many people of ANY age do you meet who can suit the title of Mistress or Master, from your point of view? Surely not many.

Pyrrsefanie -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 1:27:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact As I said earlier, I have yet to meet the 21 year old who can fulfill these same standards that I hold Myself to. I look forward to meeting the first. Playing devil's advocate here, LadyPact, if you don't mind. When you do encounter young dominants, how do you react to them? Are you polite and respectful as you would be to anyone else (of course, dependent on how they conduct themselves) or is there some sort of stigma that you just can't get past, and you choose to ignore/snub/be downright unpleasant to them? There's nothing wrong with not agreeing with them, but I'm curious because the ones that always make me roll my eyes are the ones who stomp their feet and say "NO NO NO I'M BETTER THAN YOU STUPID KID!" I don't get that impression from you, but as I said, satiating my own musings here. quote: To Me, claiming that particular title encompasses many things. The most important of which being that, the Mistress in question is fully capable of taking care of all of their slave's needs, should that be the obligation. A home of their own, medical care, education, and establishing a support system. Of course I also read where you said that this is not always necessary, and I took this to mean unnecessary when a sub is well-established themselves and does not need any assistance... so I must point out that not all dominants, regardless of age, choose to provide all of these things for their sub. Or is the trick here in the use of "slave" rather than "submissive?" Going by the typically accepted definitions of the two, my boy would fall under the "submissive" category. Nowadays it's hard enough for a young couple to get started on their own, but we are managing to do just that at this point in our lives with a place of our own. I don't believe that the responsibility for all of those expenses should fall solely onto the shoulders of one party in the relationship. If the two parts of the whole cannot survive on their own but succeed when brought together, then isn't that just as important? In my mind, being able to establish the emotional component of a D/s relationship is the most important thing. Most twenty-year-olds are too busy going out and partying to worry about running a household or caring for another person, but there certainly are exceptions to this rule. I believe the emotional age of a person is much more vital than the physical age. After all, I've read posts from some dominants on here (none of them the regular ones, but the passing-through-God-I-hope-they're-a-troll-and-not-serious kinds) professing to be in their forties who don't seem fit to even care for themselves, let alone another person. Lucky me, I hate being called Mistress. [8D] Edit to add: I should probably point out here that other people's opinions of me, dominant or otherwise, don't really matter to me -- I'm not out to impress or attract, as I'm quite happy with the boy I have waiting for me at home every night. But it does make me bristle a bit for anyone to imply that I'm not taking care of my boy or putting him in danger or anything like that just because of my age (going by some of the responses to the other thread, there are those out there who would think just that). It's the equivalent of someone walking up to you, if you have children, and saying "You're a terrible mother, you shouldn't have those children."

LadyPact -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 1:48:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact To date, I have yet to meet in person, anyone of 21 years of age who has suited the title of Mistress (or Master). Knowing that you speak with an eye to Old Guard protocol, however, puts this very much in perspective, wouldn't you say? The terms Master and Mistress in Old Guard protocol are applied very much as they were in the days of the medieval trade guilds: a Master/Mistress is someone who has served an extended apprenticeship and worked as a journeyman as well. Biologically it would be impossible to achieve such a status in BDSM by age 21, given that our society does not define you as a legally adult entity capable of taking responsibility for her own sexuality prior to the age of 18. Also, just as a side point--how many people of ANY age do you meet who can suit the title of Mistress or Master, from your point of view? Surely not many. I am too honored that you would consider Me to be Old Guard. I have never made such a claim here, nor even that of being a fully regarded Leather Woman. In fact, I have gone to great pains not to establish this. However, the fact that you would think of Me so, without having ever met, gives Me reason to think that, at the very least, you would tend to think of what I write here has some basis in truth, at minimum from My own beliefs. As to the claim of 'not many', I think that is a matter of perspective. There are how many members of the boards of CM? Along with this goes the question of how many do I know r/t who would absolutely satisfy this who are not members here? This opens several cans of worms, does it not? In either event, I will satisfy your curiosity. KinkMasterDave Archer Master Regi EvilGeoff Moon TenderDomAtl MasterTantino SirDale MasterGarn Insatiable To those who I haven't met personally, there is Stephann KnightofMist theTammyJo Madame4a MistressVnus Ma'amJay LadyHugs SftTigress SimplyMichael (sue Me for the choice) LadyD and many more who escape Me at the moment.... I am not so exclusive as to not think others ways are different from My ways, but they work for them. Take it for what you will. Your opinion need not be that of My own.

chastityvale -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 2:02:42 PM)
Hi A/all... my thoughts..... i am a lifestyle submissive and have been for about 15 years.... i am only 34 so that makes me about 19 when i finally accepted who i was born to be. my previous Mistress started out with me as a Domme at a younger age then me she was 17, but had known for years what she was meant to be. with me as her 'pet', we explopred many realms of BDSM and the D/s lifestyle. Needless to say she is an amazing person with a complete understanding of what it truly means to be Domme, not the crap wannabe's out there, (no offense intended to anyone, but as you know there are alot of wannabe Dommes and subbies in this big bad world)... she is no longer my Mistress (due to personal circumstances) but she is my best friend in the world and i would drop everything if she called. so you can have young Dommes out there who are very experienced and understand the importance of accepting someones submission. As a lifestyle submissive, my submission is a gift to be cherished... it is not something that can be taken. im sure many of you agree. anyway, just wanted to share some of my experience with younger Dommes...... hope you A/all have a wonderful week warmest regards chastity

thetammyjo -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 2:04:12 PM)
I'm flattered to be included in your list, LadyPact. It's always makes my day when someone says something positive about me. Thank you.

LadyPact -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 2:10:26 PM)
You are quite welcomed, but I am afraid I must disappoint you. It has been My perspective over the last year or so, that I base My opinion solely based upon your own truthfulness on the way that you have been living your life. Not on some trumpted up theory of what should and what should not be. Though years younger than Me, I commend you on keeping your house in the way that many would hope to have. This has less to do with titles and community, than it does to home and hearth. This is the best that all of us should hope to obtain. My brightest hope is that you have found it.

OnlyMels -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 2:14:32 PM)
Well it all depends on the person I mean a 21 year od could have 5 years of experience compaired to a 41 year old that just found her place in the lifestyle. I think the 21 year old with the 5 years should be more qualified as a mistress rather than the 41 year old who has no experience. But thats my opinion. Course if I had no experience myself which I have very little it probably wouldn't matter a Misstress and slave/sub could grow and learn from each other.

Lynnxz -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 2:30:28 PM)
I think it depends entirely on the person. Some people are a natural dominant, it comes to them as easily as speaking their native language. They can pick up on the bottoms feelings and state of mind with little effort, and respect the limits that are in place. I'm a professional submissive, basically, when you boil it down, I get hit for a living, and I've had the pleasure of submitting to many different dominants, from people who have never tried anything like this, to people that have been at it for years, and just want a playdate without the commitment of a relationship, to professionals like (next month) the guys from hogtied.com. From what I have seen, age does not play a huge factor in the whole dominance thing. Sure, a older man may have a few more years experience with that singletail and know all the fancy tricks, but the younger one may pick it up, use it on me after a few minutes of practicing, and then find that not only is he decent at it, he loves it, and loves the response that he gets from me, and can use it to his advantage. He'll go out an buy his own, so he can practice and learn with it, and hopefully make the next girl happy too, haha. It all depends on the person. Are they mature? I've met some pretty idiotic older people... and some younger ones as well. To them, BDSM might be just a way to take out some frustration on someone. Personally, I met with one person who was so angry about something else in their life, that I refused to complete the session, because I feel that anger has no place in a scene, just like I'll never do a session with a person that is under the influence of anything. As far as the submissive having more experience than the top, it doesn't matter to me. The best (in my opinion) dominants are the ones that learn from everything around them, be it someone who has a great knack for tying ropes, or the submissive they are playing with, who has a toy the dom has never used before. If your ego prevents you from accepting and learning from people around you, then to me, that's a mark of insecurity and a horrible attitude. I can't stand it. If someone chooses to call themselves Master, Mistress, Goddess, whatever, it's their opinion. It does not affect anyone around them. How do you determine when a woman can call herself Goddess? There's no water to wine business going on, but she calls herself Goddess, and it's cool with me. I call myself Lynx, because its what I like. Works for me. This is my own opinion. You are welcome to do whatever you like with it, but you aren't going to change my mind by getting huffy about it. [sm=2cents.gif] Edited for grammar failure

AAkasha -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 2:35:46 PM)
You specifically are asking about professional femdoms. If there is a market and it's legal, sure, she can be a "Mistress." A lot of men have money and want to be dominated by a college-aged girl. Hell, the whole fantasy might consist of him taking off his clothes to reveal he is in bra and panties and she just laughs at him with her 21-year old girlfriends.

LadyPact -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 2:36:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OnlyMels Well it all depends on the person I mean a 21 year od could have 5 years of experience compaired to a 41 year old that just found her place in the lifestyle. I think the 21 year old with the 5 years should be more qualified as a mistress rather than the 41 year old who has no experience. But thats my opinion. Course if I had no experience myself which I have very little it probably wouldn't matter a Misstress and slave/sub could grow and learn from each other. I beg to differ. One with five years experinec at 21 means they were fully ready to be responsible for another at 16. I find not many cases of that based in reality.

AAkasha -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 3:02:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: OnlyMels Well it all depends on the person I mean a 21 year od could have 5 years of experience compaired to a 41 year old that just found her place in the lifestyle. I think the 21 year old with the 5 years should be more qualified as a mistress rather than the 41 year old who has no experience. But thats my opinion. Course if I had no experience myself which I have very little it probably wouldn't matter a Misstress and slave/sub could grow and learn from each other. I beg to differ. One with five years experinec at 21 means they were fully ready to be responsible for another at 16. I find not many cases of that based in reality. It's a matter of semantics. How does someone define "Mistress" anyway? in the op's case it might be someone who knows how to use a strap on for hours and can do it in a variety of positions and also knows how to use words and body language that are degrading and nasty. Sure, it takes a long time to develop that skill, comfort level and fine tune the imagination by watching the reactions of the subs... But I was dominating at 16 years old. I was, as many would define, a "Mistress." Was I strapping it on? Hell no! What I was doing is making my boyfriend (who was also 16) obey my orders for the purpose of arousing me or amusing me. And I was making him do things for MY PLEASURE, not his. While this is not as erotic (I was a virgin), nasty or sexy as what some see as a "femdom scene," it was still honest, organic "domination." My pleasure before his. Obedience. Arousal. Satisfaction. These are the building blocks of power exchange. Sadly, in the hurry to become a "true femdom" many women skip that stage entirely and go right into toys, costumes, complicated roleplay and trying to satisfy eager, fantasy-driven submissives. The end result? Women who aren't enjoying it. I would think the number one "criteria" for the label of "female dominant" or "Mistress" would be that the woman empowers herself with the self awareness and self confidence that she owns her own PLEASURE and is comfortable in expecting, demanding and ultimately enforcing behaviors from her man that will deliver this. Akasha

EvilKitty -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 4:33:14 PM)
Have you absolutely ascertained that the sub-in-question has more experience than our hypothetical 21yr.old dominatrix? Is our pro's mother a Domme? Has she been mentoring under someone experienced enough to teach domination? Did she start her "adult" life as a sub or a slave; learning what it is to be on the bottom, before assuming a place she knew in her heart was right for her? I don't think equating age & experience works across the board. I know I meet many mistresses (both professional & non) young enough to be my daughters. It always seemed, inside myself, to be right in treating them with the respect I would show a domme my own age unless they've shown otherwise. Do I tend to see the good in folk before suspecting the bad? Yes. Do I believe a 21yr.old "could" be good enough in some textbook to be called Mistress & have the right to practice pro-domination for money? Yes. Lady Cat Artist at Large

LadyPact -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 4:48:09 PM)
I admit, that I Myself, grow weary of the debate. Yet, I stand by My convictions. It is My belief that with power, there is a mandate of responsibility. That means total responsibility of those who are owned. No, not everyone will accept this task, and it is to their own, and those who chose to follow them's detriment. It is, but a simple request to turn the question inward, and look upon one's self. Are you prepared to take the task, to be solely responsible for another? Should you have to stand, and chose right now, in this moment, are you prepared to accept all, that in your world, shoulders the responsiblity, for that slave you care to own? Can you take upon yourself his/her welfare, the needs and wants for another, and are you qualified to do so? Have you created the means and resources, to substain the life of, not only your own, but their well being? These are greater things, than I, Myself, would hope to decide. My final answer to this querey, is not Mine, but from your perspective, that you should chose to preside. It is an answer of the heart. Has not anyone, chosen to see this? Mistress Amy

Alida -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 5:16:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: malloves69 suxs when the bottom has more experience then the top doesnt it ? [:)] I don't understand this at all.

LotusSong -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 5:45:18 PM)
Whenever I read these type of threads.. and the young'uns counters with "well, we are exposed to more at a younger age!" What they miss is that knowledge is not to be confused with wisdom. A monkey can be taught to swing a whip is given the proper amount of bananas. But do they know WHY they are swinging the whip? Acting on theory and text is not enough. Sorry kids.. there is such a thing as growing up too fast. Unfortunately you will find that out too late.

MadameMarque -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/9/2008 6:20:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: malloves69 greetings ..saw this question asking how can a man be called a master at the age of 21 which i totally agree ..thought i would turn the tables so to speak and ask how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? ecspecially if shes a pro-dom /mistress that expects to be paid to play ? suxs when the bottom has more experience then the top doesnt it ? [:)] she should be paying you for you to be her guinea pig so to speak ..right or wrong ? sure she might be great eye candy [:)] but for serious players i love the older woman [:)] she still looks great ..has way more experience in life and i think the trust factor is there more so with a older lady then a younger one [:)] maybe just my opinion of course ..but older woman i think are better as mistresses then younger ones [:)] any thoughts ? thanks mal [:)] Must you go out of your way to needlessly, baselessly insult and invalidate every young woman who is dominant? Are you the same person who posted exactly the same thread a few weeks ago, under a different ID? I would suggest that there is some of the immaturity about which you complain, in your disrespect for a whole group, based upon over-generalization and prejudice. There is nothing so unfortunate about a bottom having more experience that their top. It can be an interesting dynamic. In any case, it's about the individuals involved and their taking satisfaction in each other. If you prefer a dominant who's both older and more experienced than you, then look for one. If you share with her your low regard for young woman, you ought to endear yourself to her, since she has been one, herself.

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