RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/11/2008 2:36:16 PM)

Hiya Stephann,

Oddly enough, there's another thread running around here somewhere that gives My opinion on the other half of it as well.  I find that ownership, either past or present, also contributes to this debate.  That's My way of saying that, in My defition when it comes to this lifestyle, the term Mistress/Master has something to do with having a dynamic with an s-type (to steal jen's term).  Yes, a person could possibly arrive at being at a level of skill in a certain technique without ever having had that in their life, but I find that extremely rare.  Anyone who could be considered a Master at Shibari, for example, has probably had a serious relationship during those years of study and practice.

A statement that you made above, my slave may think of me as a great man, but that's not the reason that I own her, does work in the reverse as well.  It's entirely possible that the reason you own her today, is because she was first drawn to the great man.   I'd give her that much credit in knowing the quality of her potential Master back then, wouldn't you?

Prrysefanie, yes, there are people who don't see the need for continuous improvement.    Even in this thread, there's been a mention or two of the type.  Unfortunately, some have come to hear terms like "Old Guard" or "leather" to be synonymous with this, which really isn't the truth.  As I've said before earlier in this thread, I don't claim either of these terms, but maybe you can understand the point.  There are members of both the older generation, and the next generation, who do a disservice to those in their age group.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/11/2008 8:30:02 PM)

I realized today that I don't call myself a mistress/master, other people call me that.  I refer to myself as a Dominant, always. 



AcademyForSlaves -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/11/2008 8:50:02 PM)

Age is irrelevant. Experience is more important than age. Although a woman of any age or experience level can call herself a Mistress. Title has nothing to do with either age nor experience. (ie-A doctor can be a young doctor with a few years experience or an older doctor with many years experience, and sometimes a younger doctor might be better at what she/he does.)

We have Mistresses of all ages and we've seen some of the younger Mistresses train slaves better than the older Mistresses who we've had longer.



LotusSong -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 8:18:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AcademyForSlaves

Age is irrelevant. Experience is more important than age. Although a woman of any age or experience level can call herself a Mistress. Title has nothing to do with either age nor experience. (ie-A doctor can be a young doctor with a few years experience or an older doctor with many years experience, and sometimes a younger doctor might be better at what she/he does.)

We have Mistresses of all ages and we've seen some of the younger Mistresses train slaves better than the older Mistresses who we've had longer.


This public service announcement has been brought to you by Academy for Slaves.  You got the money, honey..they will be whatever you want them to be.



BoiJen -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 8:43:37 AM)

Forget that somebody might have actually had a valid point....their handle and possible affiliation totally negates what they may have said.

And contrary to popular belief (or maybe it's just LotusSong's belief) just cuz they hang out online deosn't mean they're a "I'm your Mistress" type. Check out the chick's profile. 90% of males on here are looking to get ass fucked and nowhere in the woman's profile does it mention ass play or strap-ons. Gee...just cuz you don't have any boundaries or morals when cash gets thrown your way doesn't mean that other people don't stand by their own boundaries and morals when it's thrown their way.

The boi
"Oh no I was completely polite...sort of...well..I did tell them to go to hell. At least I smiled."



LotusSong -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 9:26:01 AM)

As I'm reading this thread.. I keep wanting to ask "..but are you (the collective you) smarter than a 5th grader?  and if so..why???"  Maybe life experience?.. living long enough to have many experiences?.. knowing what is bullshit and what isn't?  Once again I'll state.. you won't realize where you are right now until you are past it and looking back on your life.



Lynnxz -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 9:36:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

As I'm reading this thread.. I keep wanting to ask "..but are you (the collective you) smarter than a 5th grader?  and if so..why???"  Maybe life experience?.. living long enough to have many experiences?.. knowing what is bullshit and what isn't?  Once again I'll state.. you won't realize where you are right now until you are past it and looking back on your life.


Some of us learn from our mistakes the first time, and don't need 60 years to mature.  Others do need that long to realize their full potential.



BoiJen -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 9:45:35 AM)

The same could be said of you(and don't let me not be specific..I'm strictly speaking of LotusSong)...re:smarter than a 5th grader.

And just because it took you THIS long to figure out where you are in life and where you've been does not by any means dictate the "rules" on those of us who choose to be conscious of ourselves and where and who we are at a younger age. The indication of your statements and opinions just leaves me completely baffeled. You equate your experience and awareness in life to what "MUST" be. And the simple fact of it...is that life isn't what you think "must" be. Nor is what you think "must" be in the ways of development and consciousness of life (and all that means to an individual) the end all, be all.

You keep equating your experiences with the way things "are." Your reality and what YOU chose to do with it have no bearing on the choices of other individuals. Most especially the next generation of kinky folk who decided to get kink and conscious faster than YOU.

I'm am truely sorry that you cannot wrap your brain around the possibility of your own lack of ability and your need to to impose that upon others.

This is where I go back to saying what I said before. Lady Pact's ability to articulate the REASONS, not just her opinion but the reasons behind her opinion, is what makes her reaction and response more than reasonable. You can't even give a reason or any logic behind your opinions.



slavekal -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 10:11:57 AM)

Makes no difference.  There are some eighteen year old girls who are naturals.  Born slave trainers.



ShaktiSama -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 10:22:40 AM)

I'm sorry to see things devolve into hostility; I thought some interesting points were being made.

Honestly, I don't think any of the younger posters to this thread would claim that experience has no value.  Or that a person cannot and should not improve with age.  On the other hand, it seems appropriate to point out that "improvement" is not the only option, when one ages.  We can also decline, decay, become weak or corrupt or foolish, lose our way, acquire scars and battle damage, forget our principles...you get the picture.

It is no more reasonable to assume that an older person has spent all of his/her years "improving" than it is to assume that a younger person has no innate or developed virtue.  Power is very organic to some people--from what I can tell from his posts, Stephann and I both came into our dominance at roughly the same time of life, and in roughly the same way--completely without a community context, completely within the framework of private and personal relationships, as an outgrowth of who were were as people.

This is why I thought it was interesting to point out the contrastt between Lady Pact's viewpoint--which is based on a sense of communal peer review and community standards--versus the definition that Stephann and I, who were essentially raised by wolves, might tend to adopt.  The reason someone like me would take offense to "You're not a real Mistress" as a statement is that it's too non-specific--it sounds as if the person is trying to invalidate my personal relationships, whereas in reality they're just pointing out that I don't conform to a community standard.

Is age/experience a locus of power?  Certainly.  Is a person who has been in the game longer a better player, all other things being perfectly equal and identical, than a newcomer?  Certainly.

Can it be assumed that all other things will be perfectly equal and identical in practice?

Never.



Stephann -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 1:13:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

As I'm reading this thread.. I keep wanting to ask "..but are you (the collective you) smarter than a 5th grader?  and if so..why???"  Maybe life experience?.. living long enough to have many experiences?.. knowing what is bullshit and what isn't?  Once again I'll state.. you won't realize where you are right now until you are past it and looking back on your life.


And again, M/s has nothing to do with vast experience.  It's a relationship dynamic, pure and simple.

Fifth graders kissing on the playground might not equate with deep romantic experiences had at the age of 18, but that doesn't imply that the fifth graders aren't engaged in something romantic.  The efforts to point at these two and say "your relationship isn't valid because I don't think you're old enough to have something meaningful" smacks of hubris.

Stephan



ElanSubdued -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 5:38:07 PM)

quote:

Stephann:
The efforts to point at these two and say "your relationship isn't valid because I don't think you're old enough to have something meaningful" smacks of hubris.


I've intentionally stayed out of this part of the thread, however, this echos my feelings on the matter reasonably well.

Elan.



realtuffdom -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 5:47:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I realized today that I don't call myself a mistress/master, other people call me that.  I refer to myself as a Dominant, always. 


I've realized that a lot of people call me by names I don't call myself either. Most of which, incidentally, I'm not allowed to say in public. My mom gets really upset about those words.



LotusSong -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 7:23:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Some of us learn from our mistakes the first time, and don't need 60 years to mature.  Others do need that long to realize their full potential.



This sounded sooo familiar.     I believe I mouthed the same sentiment when I was your age.....
If I hadn't heard all this before.. I'd be offended :)  All the responses are predictable.  [sm=beatdeadhorse.gif]
Bless your hearts.. 



BoiJen -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 7:35:40 PM)

LotusSong I was raised in the south too...and I don't believe anybody here is dumb enough to fall for "fuck you" covered up by "being polite"or in this case "bless your hearts."

You have yet to give any reason to back up your belief. One would have thought with your "vast knowledge and experience" over "us youngsters," you'd actually be able to argue with some kind of validity. And yet you don't have it in you to muster up enough of anything to argue your "side"



midgetmafiosa -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 8:09:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

LotusSong I was raised in the south too...and I don't believe anybody here isn't dumb enough to fall for "fuck you" covered up by "being polite"or in this case "bless your hearts."

You have yet to give any reason to back up your belief. One would have thought with your "vast knowledge and experience" over "us youngsters," you'd actually be able to argue with some kind of validity. And yet you don't have it in you to muster up enough of anything to argue your "side"

Jen....I was about to take a drink of water. Glad I didn't, or my keyboard would be soaked right now! Bless your heart!



BoiJen -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 8:15:01 PM)

Fuck I need to proof read. lol



DreamyLadySnow -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/12/2008 8:26:13 PM)

She can call herself a balloon animal if she wants,that's her business.
If you have an issue, don't go to her.
I agree with the age vs maturity comments, personally, but that's me.

LS

(balloon spider extraordinaire)



malloves69 -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/13/2008 4:09:33 AM)

geez 1553 hits so far and still going [:)] think i came up with a hot topic and it has nothing to do with strapons or being fisted [:)] you guys proud of me ? love a lady in control [:)] mal



LadyPact -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/13/2008 6:45:30 AM)

<Pats him on the head.>

Yes, mal.  It's nice to see you providing a good thread topic.



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