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switchcouple8777 -> RE: how can a 21 year old woman call herself a mistress ? (4/18/2008 2:51:58 PM)
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I'm having trouble understanding exactly what is so knee jerk about commenting on how condescending your post came across as? While I can in no way speak for anyone else on CM that's in my age bracket, I can assure you that I learned the valuable truth of 'Noone knows anything' at somewhere in the vicinity of age 16. While I'm sure everyone at some point has wished that they did in fact know all, the truth of the matter is that I highly doubt anyone truly does. I've know folks three times my age that have yet to endure a single true hardship or life altering moment in their lives, let alone realize that with life comes great responsibility. Regardless of age. On that note, I've known people my own age (myself included) who had to fend for themselves before they hit highschool. Hopefully, with both age AND experience will come greater wisdom. Unfortuntely, that isn't always the case.
In my own case.. I had a mother who was more concerned with shopping at Hot Topic and smoking pot than with signing me back up for highschool when circumstances required that I temporarily leave. So, when I was barely seventeen, instead of being in class, I was job hunting while she was mall hopping, turning all money in to her without a single thanks - keep in mind she hasn't worked for years, and has been living off government funds when there is no reason for her to do so. Now, regardless of the fact that what I just explained was a completely vanilla example, what would your opinion be on that? At barely seventeen (really, much earlier than that) I was more mature than my 50 year old mother.
When it comes to BDSM.. I've been badly burned repeatedly, and all by people at least 5 years my senior.. Typically more. I know my fair share of irrisponsible young men and women within the BDSM scene, who in no way have the experience to back up many of their claims. I also know a great many people 10 - 30 years my senior who should be banned from even setting hand on a paddle, let alone a single tail, etc, and should NEVER be given the responsibility of a submissive. On the other hand, I know a good deal of wonderful Dom/mes, subs, etc. that range from 20 years to 60.
Forgive me for my long post, but such things do hit a bit of a sore spot. Experience should be based on just that.. Experience. I've had wonderful mentors since I became aware of BDSM at the age of 17 or so. I've been playing at a submissive since 18, and developing my dominant side since 19. I've had enough bad experience, training, and common sense to know what not to do.. And enough good experiences, training, and common sense to know what I should or can do. I'm also intelligent and mature enough to realize that I don't know everything, I may never know everything, and you can always benefit from learning more. But.. I also know that what I do know, I know well, or am learning more about. I grow with each experience I have, be it good or bad. The responsibility I have to my play partner ranks as high as my responsibility to myself.. To be honest, a good portion of the time I'mt hinking more of his wellbeing and happiness than my own.
So please consider this before replying: why is age such an important factor when deciding on experience, worthiness of a title, etc? Should a 50 year old dominant that is a mother of three but has just begun learning about BDSM last year be given more credit for experience and wisdom on that specific subject than a 21 year old dominant woman who has been mentored, trained, and actively involved in the scene/lifestyle/etc. for four years? I think not. That, in my opinion, is when common sense goes out the window, and a feeling of being entitled more respect due to the length of time spent on this earth than actual experience comes into play.
Sorry for the long post, everyone. No more like that, I promise. ;)
-Jynxx
Edited to add: I should also say that my play partner is a decade my senior. I introduced him to BDSM within the last year, and while I have more practical experience, and a good deal of 'book learning', he's accumulated as much technical knowledge and understanding of the complexities and emotions involved with BDSM as I've learned in my four years of experience. Regardless of that fact, should he cease calling me Mistress, Ma'am, Mi'Lady, or whatever else when I act as his Dominant, simply because he's seen 10 more years than I have? I think not.
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