RE: I can do as I please!

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: I can do as I please!

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: I can do as I please!

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: I can do as I please! - 4/10/2008 12:23:10 PM

MsBearlee

Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

I suppose my Owner could do as she pleases quite easily. However, while she does have the final say... She does keep me in the loop, so to speak. I'm allowed to voice my opinion and even help with decisions that affect the both of us. I may be property, but I'm useful property.

In terms of playtime, she dictates what we do entirely. She's the one firmly in control. If she wants to make me squirm, she'll make me squirm. If she wants to hear me squeal, then she'll hear me squeal. If she decides she wants to have sex with me, then she'll pick me up and take me to the nearest workable surface. If I decide to struggle a bit(She likes for me to do so every so often and so do I), she can hold me down very easily...even when I'm really trying my hardest to get free. If she's torn between what she wants to do, then she'll ask me what I'd prefer. Even if it's very hard for me to say anything while I'm in subspace.

So, I suppose my Owner could very well do as she pleases. I couldn't physically stop her. She just chooses not too out of respect to me...

Well said. It sounds to me like the two of you have a lovely relationship! In my world, that is how things work... I want a guy who thinks; who is a help, not a liability that must get constant direction.

Having said that...you both know that, should she decide to do something unexceptable...there are consequences. Ya know, nobody has to even tell me limits are: death, dismemberment, kids, vomit... I get to know someone, they get to know me. We find we are compatable, trust builds... that is how relationships grow.

Most of us are not monsters. Still, I believe anybody can do just about anything. But there ARE consequences.

MsB

_____________________________

A must read for submissives! (click here)

This one, as well!

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: I can do as I please! - 4/10/2008 12:30:33 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

My girls have told me that I can do as I please with them. However, they have based that choice upon getting to know me as a person. They have a pretty good idea what I will, and will not, allow myself, or them, to do. This has been created by alot of comunication, and consistancy on my part. That elusive little thing called trust.

So, while I can do whatever I want, within my own mental and physical capabilities, I choose not to based upon my personal spiritual and moral boundaries, not to mention my occasional "ick, ewwwww" factor.

That, and I have this thing about not wanting to become a prison inmate.............

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: I can do as I please! - 4/10/2008 1:34:09 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressFaye1

Hello Everyone,

I agree with the comments being made about limits and boundaries, to choose or not choose changes being made by the dominate, and to be ready to pay the piper if those limits are crossed.

My question is this, what if the submissive/slave is the one saying, "You're my Mistress, you can do as you please." Do you go all out and help him/her discover their true limits or do you accept, "Your limits are my limits, Mistress"?

Faye

I had a friend in NYC who had a card made with big, bold words on it saying: "Clue X 4" and another saying: "No limits? Great, let me get my chainsaw".

If someone were to say to me at the beginning of a relationship "Your limits are my limits, Mistress" or "I have no limits" then I'd either sit us down for a long talk or I'd end training completely and ask them to go get some maturity first.

If it's in an established relationship I'd consider that statement to be more a "I trust you completely" statement and I'd probably be deeply moved by it, potentially cry happy tears in fact. I think it could also mean that's we've developed so closely that our limits basically match though I'd doubt they'd be completely identical. I'd be scared to be in a Ds dynamic with a copy of myself -- EEK.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MistressFaye1)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: I can do as I please! - 4/10/2008 1:37:30 PM

Pyrrsefanie

Posts: 1222
Joined: 9/18/2007
From: NEW HAMPSHAAAAAAH!
Status: offline

Dominance does not preclude the person in question from having to apply real logic and reason, nor indemnify them from any missteps or selfish choices that would put their submissive in real danger or cause them to be truly miserable.

At the core of a dominant is just another human being, and that means that they're held to the same standards of decency as the rest of us.

_____________________________

Ти саркастична, це – доля,
Ти артистична в неволі,
Ти симпатична в цій ролі,
Ти синтетична до болю

Read my series, Taking Jessica, on http://www.akashaweb.com !

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: I can do as I please! - 4/11/2008 7:37:43 AM

MistressFaye1

Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressFaye1

Hello Everyone,

I agree with the comments being made about limits and boundaries, to choose or not choose changes being made by the dominate, and to be ready to pay the piper if those limits are crossed.

My question is this, what if the submissive/slave is the one saying, "You're my Mistress, you can do as you please." Do you go all out and help him/her discover their true limits or do you accept, "Your limits are my limits, Mistress"?

Faye

I had a friend in NYC who had a card made with big, bold words on it saying: "Clue X 4" and another saying: "No limits? Great, let me get my chainsaw".

If someone were to say to me at the beginning of a relationship "Your limits are my limits, Mistress" or "I have no limits" then I'd either sit us down for a long talk or I'd end training completely and ask them to go get some maturity first.

If it's in an established relationship I'd consider that statement to be more a "I trust you completely" statement and I'd probably be deeply moved by it, potentially cry happy tears in fact. I think it could also mean that's we've developed so closely that our limits basically match though I'd doubt they'd be completely identical. I'd be scared to be in a Ds dynamic with a copy of myself -- EEK.

TammyJo,

Thanks for the response. My situation is the latter of your post. I am deeply moved by this and I didn't think it was as he spoke it until I tested it. As I stated in the April Roll Call... I have finally found the one! That was one of many moments that confirmed our relationship was one that has lead to a 24/7 arrangement, my first one ever. Don't be surprised if I send you a lot of "I need some advice" messages as well as possibly post thread topics. *smile*

Faye

_____________________________

You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: I can do as I please! - 4/11/2008 6:13:13 PM

MmeGigs

Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MladyHathor

You know, I see that written, I hear it and I see it exhibited so much and I just don't agree with it---the whole, " I am the Dominant and I can do as I please" mentality--nope, I just disagree with that as a general statement

I disagree with it as a general statement or as a general mentality, but as a specific statement I have no problem with it.

In my relationship with my hubby, I am the dominant and I can do as I please. That's the relationship that we have. He has to ask me for permission to do anything outside the normal run of things, but if I want to do something (or someone), I don't need his permission or acquiesence - I don't even need to tell him about it. I probably will tell him as a courtesy, but it's not neccessary. If I want him to do something that he doesn't want to do, he will do it, even if he thinks it's a really stupid or disgusting or even dangerous thing. As a practical matter, nothing I'd ever want to do would be damaging to him. I need him to last at least another 30 years, so it is not in my best interest to harm him. I have a hard time imagining anything I would do that would damage our relationship. There are certainly things that I *could* do that would damage it, like spending a year's worth of bill money on sex toys or having unprotected sex with all of the men in line at the STD clinic, but it would take a heck of a lot of selfish asshole negligence to do something like that, and being a selfish negligent asshole wouldn't be pleasing to me.

That's my relationship with the hubby. I would never presume to take that kind of attitude with anyone else unless we had a similar arrangement.

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: I can do as I please! - 4/11/2008 8:16:05 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Sure, a dom/me can do as they please as long as they are willing to take the consequences for so doing. Which include being walked out on by a sub who finds them immoral, untrustworthy, uncaring, etc.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to ToyOfValue)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: I can do as I please! - 4/11/2008 11:46:06 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

~FR~

I don't want to repeat, so if you read Shawn1066, LaTigresse and MmeGigs, that is pretty much where I stand on the whole "I can do whatever I please, scenario.
Which, once again, points out how important is is to get to know your potential Dominant/submissive/slave, prior to establishing a more formal and definitely committed relationship.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: I can do as I please! - 4/12/2008 2:34:52 PM

MissLily

Posts: 146
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

I agree with the OP and Tammyjo,
Being free doesn't mean to be able to do whatever you want whenever you want. That's behaving like a teenager.
D implies both responsabilities and respect of the agreement. Whatever we choose to do, we must bear the consequences.

Miss Lily

(in reply to MladyHathor)

Profile

Post #: 29