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RE: What can I do? - 4/16/2008 7:56:39 PM

midgetmafiosa

Posts: 195
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Maine, and SLC, UT
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterwolf23

I have been on this forum for 2 years and have had some what bad luck finding a submissive. I was wondering if any one could help me understand why.

It's the hat.

honestly, that was my first impression, too, but hey, different strokes...

(in reply to Griswold)

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Post #: 41

RE: What can I do? - 4/16/2008 8:36:48 PM

adoracat

Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Runes and me don't get on... But I can grab the cards and do a reading if he wants...

the.dark.

*laughs* after i glanced at wolf's runes and told him what they said (he's studied and i havent) he forbade me from touching them again.

kitten

(in reply to RCdc)

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RE: What can I do? - 4/16/2008 9:31:45 PM

DDraigeuraid

Posts: 321
Joined: 4/3/2008
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I'm going to have to disagree with some of you about the hat. I used to wear my Stetson to the munches. It made me stand out a bit amongst all the leather. But I am strange.

Son, work on your profile as others have suggested. Also, get active in your local community. The Chicago area has munches, get togethers, play parties when you have been accepted. Learn all you can. Your profile states that you are a beginner in many areas. OK we all were at one time. You too can get the experience, but it is not going to drop in your lap. If this lifestyle is really what you want, you are going to have to work for it. You said you left your camera in your work truck. I'm assuming you are in the trades. You know what it is like to work. Are you willing to work enough to find a submissive?

Dragon

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Meddle Not in the Affairs of Dragons
For you are Crunchy, and taste good Flame Broiled

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Post #: 43

RE: What can I do? - 4/16/2008 11:49:25 PM

Hisgirlonly

Posts: 47
Joined: 12/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterwolf23

I have been on this forum for 2 years and have had some what bad luck finding a submissive. I was wondering if any one could help me understand why.

get new glasses and lose the hat, Indiana Jones.
sorry, but i'm tired, cranky, and yeah

(in reply to winterwolf23)

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Post #: 44

RE: What can I do? - 4/16/2008 11:51:29 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DDraigeuraid

I'm going to have to disagree with some of you about the hat. I used to wear my Stetson to the munches. It made me stand out a bit amongst all the leather. But I am strange.

Son, work on your profile as others have suggested. Also, get active in your local community. The Chicago area has munches, get togethers, play parties when you have been accepted. Learn all you can. Your profile states that you are a beginner in many areas. OK we all were at one time. You too can get the experience, but it is not going to drop in your lap. If this lifestyle is really what you want, you are going to have to work for it. You said you left your camera in your work truck. I'm assuming you are in the trades. You know what it is like to work. Are you willing to work enough to find a submissive?

Dragon

yeah, but a nicely blocked Stetson on a good looking man is HAWT!! (especially if he's in tight jeans and shirtless)

oops.. went away for a moment.. I'm back *fans self*

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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 45

RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 12:59:38 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterwolf23

I have been on this forum for 2 years and have had some what bad luck finding a submissive. I was wondering if any one could help me understand why.

Come back in 2 years if you still have this same issue ... I will give you the answer

The Seer

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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Post #: 46

RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 1:02:45 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
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Go and meet some real people who do it.

The fucking internet is not going to cut it.

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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Post #: 47

RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 2:17:19 AM

DelilahDeb

Posts: 429
Joined: 1/27/2008
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Delilah Deb's dirty decision tree when perving profiles. Note that this tree works just as well for your search with tweaks for male/female, straight/gay, dominant/submissive.

No: Hide User
Yes: check where he puts himself on the Dominant/submissive axis
- Slave: Hide User
- Submissive: Is there text in the profile?
- Switch: Is there text in the profile?
  - No: Hide User
  - Yes: Read for real English spelling, grammar, punctuation (content may trump minor errors)
    (extra points for using correct capitalization even if submissive)
    - No: Hide User
    - Yes: Read text for deal-breakers.
      Examples: dominant, smoker, married & cheating, seeks only monogamous, anti-feminist, Republican apologist…
      - Yes: Hide User
      - No: Read activity list for deal-breakers.
        Examples: Hates Wicca, Lives for Diapers, Dislikes Renaissance Faires, Hard Limit Whips…
        
        Yes: Hide User
        
        No: Read statistics for age.
        Less than half my age can be too young to communicate,
        must have exceptional text content to counterweight.
        
        Acceptable: Read statistics for location.
        
        Unacceptable: Hide User
        
        Another country: Hide User
        
        This country: Check distance.

And that all happens before or irrelevant of whether the guy has a picture posted, whether I like the guy's picture, how experienced he is in the scene, and a multitude of imponderables that happen in my brain in the process of scanning, reading, and examining (should I get to that point). There are perhaps a dozen or so of the nearby states' population of male subs who might be of interest. So far, I've met four. No, I haven't met my new primary! I have had some nice meetings and a few pleasant play sessions…and I know I have made one or two friends.

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--from the Charge of the Goddess, a Wiccan teaching

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RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 3:04:56 AM

punkdom

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/4/2005
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I could savage your entire presentation worse than Simon Cowell with PMS, but I'll leave it at this... I think you're going about everything all wrong.

Your profile doesn't inspire loads of confidence that you would know what to do with a submissive. You seem to live in a major metropolitan area, perhaps you should interject yourself into the local BDSM scene a bit first and gain the knowledge base necessary to be a Dom. Being a great Dom involves an extensive knowledge base.

That said... How well do you do with normal real world dating? I assume ineptitude in real world dating translates into ineptitude online.

Finally, there is a certain ethos to a Dominant, which is partly cultivated. It includes the sense that to a certain extent, you are Dominant in all aspect of your life, including dating women, something you shoot yourself in the foot with immediately with this post. Hence the reason I sense that in the real world, you have difficulties with woman as well.

There is tons and tons of books you can read that will help you develop "your inner Dom." These include everything from your basic self help "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" to "48 Laws of Power" to lots of psychological books.

Rather than any particular trick, its really all about developing yourself as a person who commands the respect that goes along with Domination.

(in reply to DelilahDeb)

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Post #: 49

RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 12:40:30 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

It took me two years to find Master and him to find me. Looking for someone isn't easy nor should it be. Finding someone compatible takes time.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

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RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 1:06:24 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
With your chin pointed upwards, you look closedminded.

SOUNDBITE! SOUNDBITE!

Mind you I have sometimes looked into an ear and seen right through the other side.

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RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 7:58:43 PM

Griswold

Posts: 2739
Joined: 2/12/2007
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(I'm telling you...it's the fucking hat).

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RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 8:32:02 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

...You guys chewed that poor boy's head off. Here, lemme’ staple that back on for you.

I guess they are all saying the same thing, you get what you work for and it appears you just didn’t put in the effort. In general, Doms are opinioned be it valid or not and post a lot of advice whether it is welcome or not… like this reply.

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I give good thread.

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RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 8:33:10 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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then again... it realy could be the hat.

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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 8:33:34 PM

martyrized

Posts: 620
Joined: 1/21/2005
From: over there
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/agree

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love + scissors,

a. martyr
artist of ill-repute, pirate weasel, and pervy elf fancier

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Post #: 55

RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 11:17:28 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Okay I am taking a Pay Pal Money Account for those who wanna buy this poor bastard a New Hat considering his head shape I am thinking a Bowler or News Boy?

Anyone wanting to help this poor soul contact me on the other side.

Also I am taking additional donations for the reconstructive surgury that will either fix tha look on his face or remove the small woodland creature up his ass who caused it.

Folks Give what you can..

Okay we jibbed you enough about this. The serious answer is you only get out what you put in. You put in a Half assed attempt and now you see what that gets you.

Steel

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Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

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RE: What can I do? - 4/17/2008 11:46:13 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
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well...the good news is that you put "something" in your profile...the bad news is that it's just a bunch of activities...it doesn't really tell much about you as a person...and honestly, if i was looking, i would dismiss you as just another person looking to get off, so here is some advice Stefan gave me when some time back when i was revamping my profile, i hope he doesn't mind me quoting him...
chelle

quote:

Write about the things you're passionate about, the things that make you excited ([not the kind that makes you hard])and really make you feel great. Write what your goals are in life; study? work? children? where do you want to live? Where do you want to travel? Where have you been? Who do you respect in life?

These are things that will flesh out who you are as a person, and those who share your tastes will be more likely to write you as opposed to just passing you by in favor of writing someone else who has more information about themselves.

I know I don't know what to write people, if they don't have any personal information.

_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

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RE: What can I do? - 4/18/2008 5:55:05 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlueHnS

Wait ... I thought you just ran down to local market and picked up a new submissive. All shiney and sparkly and custom made to order even !
It's not like one is actually required to put forth any real effort ... or invest something of themself ...

They we're on sale today,
did ya see em too? I bought a bunch too, they r really fabulous !!!

true keepers

GoddezzT`

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~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

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RE: What can I do? - 4/18/2008 9:40:44 AM

DDraigeuraid

Posts: 321
Joined: 4/3/2008
Status: offline

quote:

They we're on sale today,
did ya see em too? I bought a bunch too, they r really fabulous !!!

true keepers

GoddezzT`

They're prolly still in a container, on a barge, going through the channel. They'll be sick after that. Better get down to the market. Damn it's tough being 2500 miles away. LOL

On topic, I perved the OP's profile again. Guess he didn't like any of the advice, hasn't changed a thing.

Dragon

_____________________________

Meddle Not in the Affairs of Dragons
For you are Crunchy, and taste good Flame Broiled

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RE: What can I do? - 4/18/2008 10:24:07 AM

winterwolf23

Posts: 3
Joined: 1/14/2008
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For those that think I live close to chicago, do a search for Watseka Illnios. Its not what you call in the middle of things. Infact we have a grand total of 10 women on this board who live within 50 miles of me. Most of them are inactive or collared. The fact of the matter is we have a very Small BDSM community that consests primarily of couples who want it to stay couples.

As for what do with a submissive. I had a 2 subs. One was killed in a car accident and the other became ill with ALS and passed away. I have spent the last year since looking for some one at the local leval and checking this site when i have the time and internet.

The chicago community is great and I have made it to a few munchs, I cant all the time due to my line of work. I just never thought that after 2 years over seas and munching around in Tokyo and Kyoto that it would be this hard to meet some one in the states. If you knew where to look, could couldn't turn up a rock with out finding a submissive female looking for a dominant in Tokyo. Even with the language problem, it was never hard to find some one. It was just finding some one good!

I spent the last year looking in the local community. Irougious, Kanakee and Newton counties have almost no luck finding bondage groups except for the couples group earlier. Over all, I am not whineing. I am highly frustrated. I have never had to work this hard to find some one.

< Message edited by winterwolf23 -- 4/18/2008 10:27:35 AM >

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