Do you ever? (Full Version)

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mzbehavin -> Do you ever? (4/15/2008 9:09:51 AM)

Do you ever think of leaving this lifestyle? Has it been a positive experience in your life? A negative? Mines not been that good to be honest. I feel sad today....like i want to give up the quest. Do you ever feel like that? wanders out*



metalmiss -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 9:18:25 AM)

i've thought about it before, i even did it once.. Didn't work though, i was climbing the walls within 6 months. But then i was too young to know any better.. And i won't be doing it again, no matter what reason i think i have, or how downhearted i get. i am in this lifestyle because of who i AM.. and it's something i can't change.. i didn't choose, i was drawn.. If this is a choice for you then i hope it works out, but it wouldn't work for me.



leatherbunny -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 9:21:35 AM)

I honestly can't imagine leaving, but maybe because my experiances have been better? I've wondered what it would be like to leave, and I really don't like the idea. Seems boring.



tsatske -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 9:26:20 AM)

Actually, the older i grow, the less i think about it. it no longer seems a possibility, an option, a thought. It no longer seems necessary, there no longer seem to be any benefits to leaving.
When i was very, very young, i was sure that my fantasies, totally unfulfilled in my otherwise fulfilling first marriage, were simply sinful. The older I grow, the more this seems to be what fits and fulfills me. Most of my experiences have been good. But they keep getting better. Each one is better than any of those before.
I think it is all that, as I grow, I learn more about myself, and how to find what i need, and what i find truly fulfilling. I think it is mostly about my security and maturity.



LilMissHaven -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 9:28:47 AM)

Maybe you just need to do what I've been doing.  I haven't really stepped out of the lifestyle but I've definately stepped back and participated more as an observer, learning from others' experiances and relationships.  Basically I'm sitting down with myself and re-examing what I think I need and want and what I must have in a relationship.



LaTigresse -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 9:31:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzbehavin

Do you ever think of leaving this lifestyle? Has it been a positive experience in your life? A negative? Mines not been that good to be honest. I feel sad today....like i want to give up the quest. Do you ever feel like that? wanders out*


I've never considered myself "in" the lifestyle. It is meerly a facet of my life, how I prefer to structure a relationship with a woman.

When I am not involved with someone in this context, my life does not come to a screeching, terrible, crashing, halt. I simply fill my time and energies with other positive endeavors.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 9:42:42 AM)

My "lifestyle" is being myself.  There are times when I re-evaluate who and what I am, so that I understand myself and know I'm on the right path. 

I've had both horrible experiences in life and wonderful ones.  I've had negative experiences with my owner and blissful ones.  But if I know I am on the right path for myself, I continue to move forward through all of it, even the bad stuff.



littleone35 -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 9:50:13 AM)

I fought the lifestyle for a long time when i finlly realized it was whrer i needed to be and i embraced it made my life much eaiser.  it is who i am why would i want to leave?  it keeps me happy and fufilled.

Matt's littleone



rubberpet -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 10:04:04 AM)

I've had times where I cursed my submissive nature and my rubber fetish, thinking I was just a fucking weirdo.  I've had positive experiences in my life, so it's helped me grow.  Now that I belong to the most wonderful owner any subby could hope for, I'm embracing my subby side and my lust for rubber. [:)]



LilMissHaven -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 10:07:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

I've had times where I cursed my submissive nature and my rubber fetish, thinking I was just a fucking weirdo.  I've had positive experiences in my life, so it's helped me grow.  Now that I belong to the most wonderful owner any subby could hope for, I'm embracing my subby side and my lust for rubber. [:)]


OMG you seriously hit on the girlish cry baby side of my nature that just adores a happy ending.  *great big hugs*



rubberpet -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 10:18:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

I've had times where I cursed my submissive nature and my rubber fetish, thinking I was just a fucking weirdo.  I've had positive experiences in my life, so it's helped me grow.  Now that I belong to the most wonderful owner any subby could hope for, I'm embracing my subby side and my lust for rubber. [:)]


OMG you seriously hit on the girlish cry baby side of my nature that just adores a happy ending.  *great big hugs*


Thanks.  It's true, though.  There is something about Her than makes me yearn to submit to Her.  She doesn't look at me as weak or inferior.  She makes me feel loved, cherished, and protected.  She makes me feel proud to be submissive to Her.  She not only encourages my submission to Her, but She's also learning how to control and manipulate me through my rubber fetish.  After all, She is such a dominant, rubber-obsessed nympho.  LOL



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 10:26:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzbehavin

Do you ever think of leaving this lifestyle? Has it been a positive experience in your life? A negative?  Do you ever feel like that?

I have come in and out of the lifestyle several times. Well, not the lifestyle, but the activities asociated with it. How I act and what I am involved with generally depend alot on who I am with at the time. When I was married to a very vanilla man, I happily (for a while) gave up the BDSM activities becasue they didnt make our relationship any more fulfilling, and I constantly got the feeling he was simply humoring me.
After my divorce I learned that part of the problem wasnt the acitivites, it was the mindset. I cannot be with someone who needs to be in charge. I do not NEED to be,I prefer to be. I cannot, however, be controlled and let someone else make ALL the decisions.
I have met the most wonderful boys every time I give up the search.
I met Angel when I had decided that I was giving up an active search for a slave becasue I was so disappointed with what I was finding. He and I started talking becasue I was going to be in the nashville area and he semed interesting. I didnt realy like him much, aside from as a chat partner, since we had way too many differences in what we were seeking. But since I was going to be there anyway, and I was incurably social I thought Id meet him and we'd have an interesting weekend. He as mine from a few minutes after I got off the plane.
Fox and I had a similiar meeting, I gave up finding a suitable second to have in addition to Angel. Most wanted to replace him, not coexist and I refused to give him up. I met Fox becasue he was lcoal, and we were both bored. He was completely new and wanted to learn about things and I have always liked meeting people and had no problem talking about the lifestyle and BDSM. So we decided to meet. He has been mine since that evening.

I always say the harder you look, the less you find. Sometimes, you are so concentrated on the search that you miss te results that come right up and look you in the eye. And sometimes, what you realy want is not exactly what you were looking for in the first place.

DV



mzbehavin -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 10:34:54 AM)

Thank you all so much for your input. I really appreciate the different perspectives. Indeed if i do "give up" my quest, it doesnt change the essence of me, or my submissive nature. There was a good point made in that if i did decide to leave i would still be unfulfilled. And yes, doing other things in life to fill in the empty spaces. Been doing that. Have stepped back, watching. Im more into action though. (Lol guess all these posts are an outlet!)
Im thankful for you all who write on the boards, i've learned alot here and gotten so many different views, it does expand my mind.
Maybe i'm just down today...
Again, thank you for posting. xoxo



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 10:41:22 AM)

I have found my true Self in this lifestyle, my purpose in life and my spirituality. I am a much, much better person having found it.

Master Fire



DesFIP -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 1:02:12 PM)

Is it that you no longer want a relationship with clear rules and roles?
Or are you just disheartened of ever finding a good partner?

Because these are two different things.

If you keep picking people who aren't what you think they are, then you need to improve your screening techniques. But this isn't a BDSM thing, I know lots of vanillas who only pick bad partners.



batshalom -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 4:41:37 PM)

~Fast Reply~

I could no more be a non-submissive than I could stop being a person. Life before I came to terms with submission was horrible - I didn't have a place to fit and couldn't figure out why I felt so bad "having it all" (except for having the freedom to express who I am). I'm not sure why you feel like leaving, OP, but whatever your decision I wish you well.



kallisto -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 5:27:58 PM)

How can I give up being me?   This is who I am.   It's what make me.  It's not a lifestyle for me.  It's my life.  



katie978 -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 6:42:07 PM)

  I might give up on doing all the rigamarole that goes along with BDSM, but actually being a submissive and having kinky sex-I'm pretty sure those are in my life to stay.

  I do get disheartened sometimes with the community... There are days when reading this site is like reading a list of the stupidest ideas ever, people trying obviously unsafe things, women asking if it's normal for their doms to abuse them. I used to get seriously dishearted while searching for a dom...I met many who were good guys, just not for me. But I met many more who were just looking for a quick screw and have evidently confused "submissive" with "slut".

   However, I don't think I could be fulfilled in a vanilla relationship (unless is was one of those sneaky power-exchange relationships disguised as a vanilla one). I need someone to be able to step up and take control...maybe not all the time, but some of the time. Otherwise, I find myself completely disgusted with the person I'm with for absolutely no reason (except, as I can see clearly now, that they were not dom).

  There were times I thought about bowing out of the search. Am I ever glad I didn't ^_^.



OsideGirl -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 7:02:59 PM)

My experiences in the "lifestyle" have been positive. Both of my relationships were/are long term. The first being 6 years and the current one being 8 years.

That said, I think if something were to happen to Master and I, I don't think I'd try again for a 24/7 D/s relationship. I'd just go vanilla with bottoming. I just don't think I want to go through sorting through all the wannabe's, the Uber Doms, the fantasy world dwellers and the serial monogamists.



KatyLied -> RE: Do you ever? (4/15/2008 7:05:58 PM)

I don't think about leaving the "lifestyle".  Mainly because I live a life, not a "lifestyle".  The "lifestyle" is one part of my life.  But I do not compartmentalize my life.  I am many things and I don't think I'll be leaving any of them soon.



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