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Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 9:09:51 AM

mzbehavin

Posts: 253
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline

Do you ever think of leaving this lifestyle? Has it been a positive experience in your life? A negative? Mines not been that good to be honest. I feel sad today....like i want to give up the quest. Do you ever feel like that? wanders out*

_____________________________

There's never really a good time for the whole Man to Beast thing...Just kind of~Whaum! and hope for the best...
ToTo from The O.Z.

Post #: 1

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 9:18:25 AM

metalmiss

Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline

i've thought about it before, i even did it once.. Didn't work though, i was climbing the walls within 6 months. But then i was too young to know any better.. And i won't be doing it again, no matter what reason i think i have, or how downhearted i get. i am in this lifestyle because of who i AM.. and it's something i can't change.. i didn't choose, i was drawn.. If this is a choice for you then i hope it works out, but it wouldn't work for me.

_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Post #: 2

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 9:21:35 AM

leatherbunny

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline

I honestly can't imagine leaving, but maybe because my experiances have been better? I've wondered what it would be like to leave, and I really don't like the idea. Seems boring.

(in reply to metalmiss)

Post #: 3

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 9:26:20 AM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

Actually, the older i grow, the less i think about it. it no longer seems a possibility, an option, a thought. It no longer seems necessary, there no longer seem to be any benefits to leaving.
When i was very, very young, i was sure that my fantasies, totally unfulfilled in my otherwise fulfilling first marriage, were simply sinful. The older I grow, the more this seems to be what fits and fulfills me. Most of my experiences have been good. But they keep getting better. Each one is better than any of those before.
I think it is all that, as I grow, I learn more about myself, and how to find what i need, and what i find truly fulfilling. I think it is mostly about my security and maturity.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to leatherbunny)

Post #: 4

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 9:28:47 AM

LilMissHaven

Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

Maybe you just need to do what I've been doing. I haven't really stepped out of the lifestyle but I've definately stepped back and participated more as an observer, learning from others' experiances and relationships. Basically I'm sitting down with myself and re-examing what I think I need and want and what I must have in a relationship.

_____________________________

I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

(in reply to tsatske)

Post #: 5

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 9:31:37 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzbehavin

Do you ever think of leaving this lifestyle? Has it been a positive experience in your life? A negative? Mines not been that good to be honest. I feel sad today....like i want to give up the quest. Do you ever feel like that? wanders out*

I've never considered myself "in" the lifestyle. It is meerly a facet of my life, how I prefer to structure a relationship with a woman.

When I am not involved with someone in this context, my life does not come to a screeching, terrible, crashing, halt. I simply fill my time and energies with other positive endeavors.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Post #: 6

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 9:42:42 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

My "lifestyle" is being myself. There are times when I re-evaluate who and what I am, so that I understand myself and know I'm on the right path.

I've had both horrible experiences in life and wonderful ones. I've had negative experiences with my owner and blissful ones. But if I know I am on the right path for myself, I continue to move forward through all of it, even the bad stuff.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Post #: 7

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 9:50:13 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I fought the lifestyle for a long time when i finlly realized it was whrer i needed to be and i embraced it made my life much eaiser. it is who i am why would i want to leave? it keeps me happy and fufilled.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 8

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 10:04:04 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

I've had times where I cursed my submissive nature and my rubber fetish, thinking I was just a fucking weirdo. I've had positive experiences in my life, so it's helped me grow. Now that I belong to the most wonderful owner any subby could hope for, I'm embracing my subby side and my lust for rubber.

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Post #: 9

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 10:07:25 AM

LilMissHaven

Posts: 734
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

I've had times where I cursed my submissive nature and my rubber fetish, thinking I was just a fucking weirdo. I've had positive experiences in my life, so it's helped me grow. Now that I belong to the most wonderful owner any subby could hope for, I'm embracing my subby side and my lust for rubber.

OMG you seriously hit on the girlish cry baby side of my nature that just adores a happy ending. *great big hugs*

_____________________________

I must first learn to master myself, before I can truly be owned by one.

(in reply to rubberpet)

Post #: 10

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 10:18:24 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilMissHaven

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

I've had times where I cursed my submissive nature and my rubber fetish, thinking I was just a fucking weirdo. I've had positive experiences in my life, so it's helped me grow. Now that I belong to the most wonderful owner any subby could hope for, I'm embracing my subby side and my lust for rubber.

OMG you seriously hit on the girlish cry baby side of my nature that just adores a happy ending. *great big hugs*

Thanks. It's true, though. There is something about Her than makes me yearn to submit to Her. She doesn't look at me as weak or inferior. She makes me feel loved, cherished, and protected. She makes me feel proud to be submissive to Her. She not only encourages my submission to Her, but She's also learning how to control and manipulate me through my rubber fetish. After all, She is such a dominant, rubber-obsessed nympho. LOL

_____________________________

Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

(in reply to LilMissHaven)

Post #: 11

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 10:26:46 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mzbehavin

Do you ever think of leaving this lifestyle? Has it been a positive experience in your life? A negative? Do you ever feel like that?

I have come in and out of the lifestyle several times. Well, not the lifestyle, but the activities asociated with it. How I act and what I am involved with generally depend alot on who I am with at the time. When I was married to a very vanilla man, I happily (for a while) gave up the BDSM activities becasue they didnt make our relationship any more fulfilling, and I constantly got the feeling he was simply humoring me.
After my divorce I learned that part of the problem wasnt the acitivites, it was the mindset. I cannot be with someone who needs to be in charge. I do not NEED to be,I prefer to be. I cannot, however, be controlled and let someone else make ALL the decisions.
I have met the most wonderful boys every time I give up the search.
I met Angel when I had decided that I was giving up an active search for a slave becasue I was so disappointed with what I was finding. He and I started talking becasue I was going to be in the nashville area and he semed interesting. I didnt realy like him much, aside from as a chat partner, since we had way too many differences in what we were seeking. But since I was going to be there anyway, and I was incurably social I thought Id meet him and we'd have an interesting weekend. He as mine from a few minutes after I got off the plane.
Fox and I had a similiar meeting, I gave up finding a suitable second to have in addition to Angel. Most wanted to replace him, not coexist and I refused to give him up. I met Fox becasue he was lcoal, and we were both bored. He was completely new and wanted to learn about things and I have always liked meeting people and had no problem talking about the lifestyle and BDSM. So we decided to meet. He has been mine since that evening.

I always say the harder you look, the less you find. Sometimes, you are so concentrated on the search that you miss te results that come right up and look you in the eye. And sometimes, what you realy want is not exactly what you were looking for in the first place.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Post #: 12

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 10:34:54 AM

mzbehavin

Posts: 253
Joined: 1/15/2008
Status: offline

Thank you all so much for your input. I really appreciate the different perspectives. Indeed if i do "give up" my quest, it doesnt change the essence of me, or my submissive nature. There was a good point made in that if i did decide to leave i would still be unfulfilled. And yes, doing other things in life to fill in the empty spaces. Been doing that. Have stepped back, watching. Im more into action though. (Lol guess all these posts are an outlet!)
Im thankful for you all who write on the boards, i've learned alot here and gotten so many different views, it does expand my mind.
Maybe i'm just down today...
Again, thank you for posting. xoxo

_____________________________

There's never really a good time for the whole Man to Beast thing...Just kind of~Whaum! and hope for the best...
ToTo from The O.Z.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 13

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 10:41:22 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I have found my true Self in this lifestyle, my purpose in life and my spirituality. I am a much, much better person having found it.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Post #: 14

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 1:02:12 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Is it that you no longer want a relationship with clear rules and roles?
Or are you just disheartened of ever finding a good partner?

Because these are two different things.

If you keep picking people who aren't what you think they are, then you need to improve your screening techniques. But this isn't a BDSM thing, I know lots of vanillas who only pick bad partners.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 15

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 4:41:37 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

I could no more be a non-submissive than I could stop being a person. Life before I came to terms with submission was horrible - I didn't have a place to fit and couldn't figure out why I felt so bad "having it all" (except for having the freedom to express who I am). I'm not sure why you feel like leaving, OP, but whatever your decision I wish you well.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 16

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 5:27:58 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

How can I give up being me? This is who I am. It's what make me. It's not a lifestyle for me. It's my life.

(in reply to batshalom)

Post #: 17

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 6:42:07 PM

katie978

Posts: 352
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline

I might give up on doing all the rigamarole that goes along with BDSM, but actually being a submissive and having kinky sex-I'm pretty sure those are in my life to stay.

I do get disheartened sometimes with the community... There are days when reading this site is like reading a list of the stupidest ideas ever, people trying obviously unsafe things, women asking if it's normal for their doms to abuse them. I used to get seriously dishearted while searching for a dom...I met many who were good guys, just not for me. But I met many more who were just looking for a quick screw and have evidently confused "submissive" with "slut".

However, I don't think I could be fulfilled in a vanilla relationship (unless is was one of those sneaky power-exchange relationships disguised as a vanilla one). I need someone to be able to step up and take control...maybe not all the time, but some of the time. Otherwise, I find myself completely disgusted with the person I'm with for absolutely no reason (except, as I can see clearly now, that they were not dom).

There were times I thought about bowing out of the search. Am I ever glad I didn't ^_^.

(in reply to kallisto)

Post #: 18

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 7:02:59 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

My experiences in the "lifestyle" have been positive. Both of my relationships were/are long term. The first being 6 years and the current one being 8 years.

That said, I think if something were to happen to Master and I, I don't think I'd try again for a 24/7 D/s relationship. I'd just go vanilla with bottoming. I just don't think I want to go through sorting through all the wannabe's, the Uber Doms, the fantasy world dwellers and the serial monogamists.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to katie978)

Post #: 19

RE: Do you ever? - 4/15/2008 7:05:58 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I don't think about leaving the "lifestyle". Mainly because I live a life, not a "lifestyle". The "lifestyle" is one part of my life. But I do not compartmentalize my life. I am many things and I don't think I'll be leaving any of them soon.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to mzbehavin)

Post #: 20

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