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RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 7:02:22 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

The thing that gets me is this "online protection".  Does a submissive not know how to turn off the computer? What exactly is being protected? I have never understood it, prolly never will, but to each their own.

MoGa



*insert random joke about Norton Antivirus here* 

Does that mean that McAfee is my cyber-dom if it's offering me online protection?

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 101
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 7:19:44 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

THEY ARE PROTECTING YOU FROM ME...
 
I am known for eating just the labia of a newbie and throwing the rest away.

EWWWW!! darnit Michael!

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 7:22:51 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann

I tend to warn most women interested in me.... that I'd be protecting them, by making them so terrified of me that they flee in terror, never to darken my doorway again.

I really haven't figured out why it doesn't work.  Hell, my profile has skulls and crossbones, and HERE THERE BE MONSTERS clearly displayed.

Stephan



Which absolutely made me laugh out loud when I looked at your profile.  Yes, I perved you.  Whatcha gonna do about it? 

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 7:46:16 PM   
MontrealPhoenix


Posts: 1526
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Only because I feel the need to randomly play devils advocate will I answer the UN-popular answer.

Personally I am aware that I cannot protect them from anything really, but I have said I am willing to protect them from getting hurt again.

Many submissives are filled to the absolute Brim with sob stories and Horror happenings about how this guy came into thier lives turned them upside down and left them a shell of thier former selves. Sometimes it really happened too.

So I guess when I have said I want to offer you my protection I guess I mean that I am wanting to protect thier best interest and be the best most honest person I can be. I guess I am saying to them that I am willing to be different and I am willing to protect you from having to continue on being used and abused because I don't want to do that to you.

But then again as I understand it all the others guys say that too so I guess offten times saying I want to protect you is just a nice thing to say. It sounds romantic and is usually taken romantically but everyone else is right it literally means very little, but emotionally it can mean the world.

When I tell my girl I want to protect her she knows that it means that I was to keep fer from having to protect herself. I know that she knows how to, but I want her to know that I want to keep her from having to find herself in a situation in which she needs protection from as often as possible. In that degree when I say I want to protect her what it means is that I want to keep her safe.

Now the main problem is people use this phrase for just about anything and so it loses meaning after a time, but all in all I still think the sentiment is a sweet one.

Just the Devils Advocate in me wanting to play along

Steel

You're right, Steel, we subbies/slaves have heard that promise so many times if we had a penny for every time it happened we would all be very rich indeed.
 
THAT SAID, you truly are different. You don't just say the words you back them up with actions that prove you are trustworthy, and that makes you different from those others. I've said it before and i'll say it again, you truly are trustworthy and i'm thankful for all the times you have been there for me when i needed a friend. Girls, if Steel contacts you and offers a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen, take him up on it. He's really one in a million.
 
Phoenix

_____________________________

"Only in a collar can a woman be truly free"
~Tribesmen of Gor ..pg 75

"He who ties a woman owns her"
~Guardsman Of Gor pg 267



(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 7:53:30 PM   
Kalista07


Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline 		i'm not sure if i'm replying to this post because i'm that smart, that stupid, or the pneumonia is killing me.... At any rate, i must admit that i've participated in this "online protector" thing. i've shared my experience with this previously, but have opted to do it again. The first 'dom' who was my online protector was nothing more than a spineless weasel who wanted in my pants. And he got there... And i became the person he created me to be and then he bailed on me....  The second time i agreed to have a dom act as my "protector" or guardian, the situation was vastly different. i was dealing with a whole lot of crap at that point...My dad had recently died, i was struggling with depression majorly, i was dealing with unresolved bullshit that i really thought would have died with him and it didn't, and i had been raped, beaten, and assaulted (by someone i had met through this website.)  The second Master who was my protector was an awesome person, and still is. He will always be a hero to me. He taught me so much about myself, about the lifestyle, about my needs and wants. He taught me how to stand up for myself and how to not accept unacceptable behavior.  He taught me how to live in my own skin and frankly got me to a point where i could grow and flourish in the relationship i am currently in.  i realize that not everyone's experience has been as positive as mine, but i do not think we should throw the baby out with the bath water.

< Message edited by Kalista07 -- 4/15/2008 8:00:06 PM >

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~~Sweedish Proverb


(in reply to LilMissHaven)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 8:02:27 PM   
Hippiekinkster


Posts: 5512
Joined: 11/20/2007
From: Liechtenstein
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lanie38
In my own experience, I usually hear this line spewed by Doms who tend to equate fragility and weakness with being submissive. Not my kind of Dom...

Not my kind of sub. I like my women self-assured, educated, competent, strong...

(in reply to lanie38)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 8:07:15 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
Actually I have the ability to discern who is full of shit and who is not....Judging from many of the responses apparently that is a lost art form within your precious "community."


Lol...or here's a thought--maybe you're a secretly sensitive vulnerable man who drives people away from him constantly because he's afraid no one cares about him.

quote:

You strike me as one of those "frustrated dominants" ...


Lol...honey, you don't want to start a sentence with the words "you strike me".  It gives away too much of what's on your mind.    You sure it's ME who's frustrated?  'Cause it sure seems to me that you spend a lot of time pulling my pigtails, trying to get my attention.

quote:

The Shaktisamas of the world want you to believe that you are weak...


Horseshit.  There are no "ShaktiSamas" in the plural, babydoll.  I am one of a kind.  And I have no investment in making feeling people "weak".  Having someone care about you and look out for you doesn't make you "weak"--it actualy makes you quite a bit stronger.

You might want to try it some time.

Anyway.  I have no idea what the rest of this bullshit post was supposed to be saying, so I'm going to ignore it, the way I generally ignore you.

I am sorry that no one would ever consider asking for your protection, darlin'.  Maybe people would have more confidence in you if you weren't too "strong" to care about them.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 107
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 8:17:17 PM   
Poetryinpain


Posts: 341
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		Do we need protection by or from someone who goes to Cubs games? I forget.

pip, hope springs eternal in the spring

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There is none so blind as he who will not see.

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 108
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 8:25:43 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
It crossed my mind...But for some reason I can't picture an "older woman" taking down a charging sub. Unless they haven't got any in quite some time....A desperate cougar is one of the most dangerous animals to confront.


Domi, you DO have my picture, dammit; now stop talking about me that way.

The last person that tried to protect me by telling me to "be careful" at night got the "glare of doom" and my response of, "If they aren't smart enough to run, they deserve whatever I give them."

Mum was not amused.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 109
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 8:42:26 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama


Anyway.  I have no idea what the rest of this bullshit post was supposed to be saying, so I'm going to ignore it, the way I generally ignore you.

I am sorry that no one would ever consider asking for your protection, darlin'.  Maybe people would have more confidence in you if you weren't too "strong" to care about them.



I have never and would never offer to protect some random dumb sub....Don't have the time nor the energy. What is the point? I'm going to help an adult proceed through a relationship? I would rather she play russian roulette than waste my time. You want real protection? by Right Guard...Anything else these Shaktisamas might be offering you is horseshit.

Since you didn't get to the "rest" of my "bullshit post"...Let me give you the Cliff Notes...It ended with you blowing me.

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 110
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 8:43:53 PM   
slavegirljoy


Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline 		In the case of my Master, He primarily protects me from myself and my tendency to be impetuous and not always think things out the way i should.  Having to get His permission first, helps to keep me from doing stupid things.
 
joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to LilMissHaven)
Profile   Post #: 111
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 9:07:03 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Since you didn't get to the "rest" of my "bullshit post"...Let me give you the Cliff Notes...It ended with you blowing me.


So it would be real similar to the rest of your wank fantasies then.

Glad I skipped it.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 112
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 9:09:46 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		It's like a Dom-off!

...hot


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Don't believe everything you think...

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Profile   Post #: 113
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 9:12:52 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I'm going to take a middle position between Shaktisama and domiguy.  I agree with domiguy that subs, especially female subs, are often encouraged to be meek and helpless lambs who aren't responsible for anything that happens to them.  That's revolting, because if BDSM is about anything, it's a relationship between ADULTS.  If something goes wrong in a relationship that you WILLINGLY entered, it's as much your own fucking fault as anyone else's.  For that reason, most of the Collarme chatter about "protection" rubs me the wrong way.  It's usually all about protecting people from facing their own raw feelings.

However...once you reach a certain stage in a d/s relationship, I think some mode of "protection" really does start to enter the picture, because a dom is responsible for his or her sub, and anyone who has had the right kind of experiences knows that a heavy d/s relationship is mentally and emotionally intense, much more intense than a typical vanilla relationship.  If you're REALLY asking a sub to confront his or her deepest and most troublesome fears and desires, that person is going to need just a bit of help to get through it all.  And believe me, the sub will be (or should be) eternally grateful.  Most people don't give a damn.

(in reply to slavegirljoy)
Profile   Post #: 114
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 9:36:03 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

It's like a Dom-off!

...hot



Be quiet you.

quote:

LordandMaster
However...once you reach a certain stage in a d/s relationship, I think some mode of "protection" really does start to enter the picture, because a dom is responsible for his or her sub, and anyone who has had the right kind of experiences knows that a heavy d/s relationship is mentally and emotionally intense, much more intense than a typical vanilla relationship. If you're REALLY asking a sub to confront his or her deepest and most troublesome fears and desires, that person is going to need just a bit of help to get through it all. And believe me, the sub will be (or should be) eternally grateful. Most people don't give a damn.


I think the better word is "responsibility." We are responsible for our actions. I have gotten carried away a time or two. It wasn't anything Earth shattering just some words as to what had transpired and her overall feelings about it.

You live and you learn and you become more in tune to your partners and your own limits...The problem is that very few out here seem to have grasped this notion.


_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 115
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 10:19:56 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		FR.

Throughout this entire thread I keep seeing noble ideas expressed. Not one word has value until it is matched by a deed in kind.

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My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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Profile   Post #: 116
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/15/2008 11:58:11 PM   
roughleather


Posts: 232
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain

I went to a large party under the "protection" of a dominant once.  It basically meant, "Oh, sweet little naive submissive, come to me and let me protect you from other nasty, mean dominants who only want to use you.  In the meantime I want to use you for exactly the purposes I'm 'protecting' you from and wave you around like a trophy."


I know someone like that. He's well known in the SF scene. He may have a future as a pimp.

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 117
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/16/2008 3:52:34 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

quote:

ORIGINAL: NakedOnMyChain

I went to a large party under the "protection" of a dominant once.  It basically meant, "Oh, sweet little naive submissive, come to me and let me protect you from other nasty, mean dominants who only want to use you.  In the meantime I want to use you for exactly the purposes I'm 'protecting' you from and wave you around like a trophy."


I know someone like that. He's well known in the SF scene. He may have a future as a pimp.



Can you catch ruffles from him?

(in reply to roughleather)
Profile   Post #: 118
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/16/2008 4:08:25 AM   
KMsAngel


Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		ruffles?

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flightless cherub


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Profile   Post #: 119
RE: What exactly are Dom's protecting us from? - 4/16/2008 5:21:23 AM   
Toolking


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline 		Ok... What a Dom protect you from??? His protection comes with the responsiblity to take care of you and keeping the look out for you in case something goes wrong within ur relationship, i.e He dies/get killed/goes to perison or whatever u may fancy him in. As a protector He would prepare for them events, and He will make sure u will be alright without Him. He puts u in His well, He allows you to have a private bank account where u can save some of ur money for yourself. There is a lot of ways to protect you dear but if ur mind thinks like He is doing all the things He supposed to be protecting u from.....i.e SEX n FUN..... ? Why would He stop u or deprive u from the best joy in life?? that's my $.02

(in reply to KMsAngel)
Profile   Post #: 120
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