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RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/17/2008 6:48:15 AM   
indianslave37


Posts: 14
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline 		For me, it is erotic to read the forced tortures in stories, but in real life, it has to be consensual.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/17/2008 9:43:02 AM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline 		From my point of view, the possibility that my Mistress will make me suffer through things I really, really hate is a large part of what makes submitting to her exciting and fulfilling. The sense of being in her power is much more intense when I know that she may elect to use that power in ways that make me genuinely miserable (without, of course, compromising my safety). She's never actually pushed things to this point, although when I'm serving her I end up doing plenty of things I rather dislike, from household chores to undergoing types of pain I could very happily live without. But sooner or later, I'm quite sure that I'll be instructed to either do or endure something that I almost literally can't stand, and I really wouldn't have it any other way. It's precisely what I signed up for.

(in reply to indianslave37)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/17/2008 12:38:44 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Being a slave has nothing to do with finding someone you are comaptible with. Afterall goals and expectations from someone and the relationship that are similar make everything go much smoother. Being a slave doesn't mean taking whoever comes along.

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(in reply to sslaveO)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/17/2008 5:05:29 PM   
ANTONIST


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/6/2004
Status: offline 		what you OP say, does not make you less slave

however keep in mind that you will have the feel the need to exceed your limits as time passes, in order to achieve more intense pleasure from your slavery

at first, you may ofcourse have a list of do's and dont's, but I am sure you will broaden your fantasies soon, if you find your perfect dom, build faith to him and start to explore your submissiveness with him

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/17/2008 10:06:41 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ANTONIST
what you OP say, does not make you less slave

however keep in mind that you will have the feel the need to exceed your limits as time passes, in order to achieve more intense pleasure from your slavery

at first, you may ofcourse have a list of do's and dont's, but I am sure you will broaden your fantasies soon, if you find your perfect dom, build faith to him and start to explore your submissiveness with him

Just to note this is not necessarily true for all, certainly not for experienced slaves.  Most people find things simply shift- some things become less interesting and some things become more.  Pushing the limits isn't the point, simply being who you are is.

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(in reply to ANTONIST)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/18/2008 5:58:22 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ANTONIST

what you OP say, does not make you less slave

however keep in mind that you will have the feel the need to exceed your limits as time passes, in order to achieve more intense pleasure from your slavery

at first, you may ofcourse have a list of do's and dont's, but I am sure you will broaden your fantasies soon, if you find your perfect dom, build faith to him and start to explore your submissiveness with him


Not true here.

I had a list of stuff I wouldn't do, none of which has changed. And a much longer list of stuff that didn't appeal but I was willing to do occasionally. The truth is that many of those things were so bad upon trial that we've agreed to drop them from the repertoire because of how much damage they do to me.

Not to mention, that most of the stuff I'm not that interested in, he isn't interested in either. We're in this for the relationship, not on some obsessive need to check off every possible kinky activity ever thought of. And that's a very different viewpoint than those who are interested in the activities more than they are in the person they do them with.

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(in reply to ANTONIST)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/18/2008 6:19:39 AM   
MistressMiracle


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/23/2007
Status: offline 		from softpjOS 
quote:

Within my relationship, Mistress had me fill out this impossibly long check list of activities.  I mean a LONG list.  Many of the things on that list i had no idea what they were, some i listed as umm ok, i'll try it, others i said oh HELL no!   The only hard limits i listed were things that i felt crossed moral lines with me. 

Years later, Mistress had me look at that list again and compare my answers then to now.  What an eye opener.  Many things i said "Oh hell no" to are now "special treats" lol.  Some things i truly thought i'd be ok with are (for now) off limits. 
quote:



I really enjoyed reading this.  I think this will be something that I incorporate with my new sub.  Thank you for the idea.


(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/18/2008 7:00:51 AM   
willowspirit


Posts: 164
Joined: 6/20/2005
From: U.S.A.-Minnesota
Status: offline 		Some of the best slaves in the lifestyle aren't necessarily even submissive in personality. But a sense of honor, duty and commitment makes them obey. It is a choice.
Being a "slave" is more than just being a S&M or sexual slave, ya know...
One doesn't have to be submissive in order to "bottom" to a Top... I've seen lots of people in the "bottom" position in dungeons who are in total control of the one topping them.

(in reply to sslaveO)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/18/2008 8:09:49 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		It's more fun when a Top can control a scene. At least for me. I lose my enthusiasm if I have to do as I am told. Bossy bottoms usually find me very dissapointing.

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My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to willowspirit)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/18/2008 8:11:02 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Some women truly get of on suffering in thier devotion. I guess it makes submission feel more real to them.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/18/2008 9:54:26 AM   
ThunderRoad


Posts: 231
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think the important question is whether you "hate" something, or just dislike it.  Is it a hard limit or soft.  Do you really passionately dispise being peed on, or are you willing to grit your teeth and do it because it makes your top happy?

Forcing someone to do something they will resent you for just removes the whole D/s energy from the situation, but if they are willing to take joy in your joy and forget about the act, then that's different.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/20/2008 10:01:20 AM   
DrummerDom


Posts: 49
Joined: 2/16/2008
Status: offline 		it's called a hard limit and you're well within your rights.  Even slaves are human...well, most of them. :D

(in reply to sslaveO)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/20/2008 10:23:53 AM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		When I was in my 20's I had my first experienced sub.  He was extremely talented, but didn't want to climax.  I couldn't believe it, and after a particularly memorable night, even after he said, 'No', I made him orgasm.  He crashed.  His mood was down well into the next day, and he didn't feel better until this high-powered lawyer called his mom long-distance and talked about vanilla things.  And there was no CM website to discuss things with other Dommes at the time!

It, and he, taught me a lot about the gift of submission and limits. 

(in reply to DrummerDom)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/20/2008 12:22:05 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		It's about learning to be who I am and then finding someone who likes/loves me just the way I am and that I feel the same about. Being 'kinky' is part of who I am. What I like doing changes. But needing to be in control of the relationship doesn't change.
Kink is fun, exciting, stimulating. challenging and a real turn on BUT what I do is nowhere near as important as who I do it with. So sub or slave they have to be more interested in me the person that what I may or may not want to do.
I think age/experience has a lot to do with how we approach things.
Bitter experience has taught me a lot about people. Mostly bad.

(in reply to Tantriqu)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/21/2008 11:36:48 AM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sslaveO

Do you think it is not submissive for a slave to seek a Dom/me who doesn't particularly do or like an activity that said slave doesn't like?


I don't understand how being submissive equates with being stupid or not wanting to be happy or not wanting to be pleased with your own life.  I don't understand where questions like this come from.

(in reply to sslaveO)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: When a slave hates something... - 4/21/2008 11:55:00 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		FR

To say that we can pick someone who will always align with our personal likes and dislikes is an unrealistic notion.  That's impossible to do, since we can never predict how our partner might change, grow or evolve. 
I personally cannot even imagine myself in a ds relationship in which everything I did for him was enjoyable.  I love to hate certain things, and I love to suffer for the dominant I choose to submit to.   I also think if it was even possible to pick someone who would never ask me to do something I didn't like or didn't want to do, I would avoid that person because I can't fathom a ds relationship that didn't challenge me or push me into uncomfortable places that cause me pain at times.   I doubt that makes me more submissive than anyone else.  Maybe just willing to admit that I like to suffer and allow my partner to cause me all sorts of emotional and physical pain. 

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 56
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